Elle pulled away with tears forming in her eyes. Her mind raced with thoughts of confusion. She knew that she had feelings for Nick, but she hadn't realized that he had feelings for her. She never would have thought in a million years that she could actually be kissed from Nick Carter agian. Her thoughts continued to race until they rested on Carrie. Feeling guilty, Elle turned to Nick. His eyes were also full of the same confusion. Elle shifted her eyes to the ground.
"Nick, what was that?"
"Elle, ever since I saw you again I have wanted to be there for you. I wasn't there when your parents died and I haven't helped you at all with Carrie-"
Elle cut Nick off. "Nick! You have been the greatest form of support these few days. Without you, I don't know if I would even be able to go on living. I have lost so many people in my life, but when you came back, a hole that had formed in my life was covered up. You filled in the void of my life. But, that doesn't really explain that kiss."
Nick realized how uncomfortable he was feeling. He wanted desperately to tell Elle that he loved her. That he wanted to be with her. That he wanted to be the one to help her through her depression. Brian's words echoed in his head.
"I guess that I have just been on tour too long Els and you happened to be the only person to be here." Nick finally said. He immediately wished that he could take it back.
"Ouch Nick. You guess that you have been on tour too long. That's what that kiss was?"
"Elle....I....I, eh." Nick studdered. He felt awful and Nick knew that Elle's words were full of truth. The bad thing was, Nick didn't know up until now that Elle liked him. He wanted to hold Elle in his arms and never stop kissing her.
"Thank you for everything Nick. Have a wonderful life." With that Elle opened the door to her hotel room and slammed it after her. She leaned against the door, sat down, and burst into tears.
On the other side of the door, Nick could hear Elle's uncontrolable sobs. "You really fucked up big time Carter," Nick said to himself. "Elle," Nick called through the door.
"Fuck off. Leave me alone Nick," Elle yelled angrily through the door.
"You have to talk to me. Let me explain."
"Not now Nick. Just go away," Elle screamed.
Nick ran to his car and grabbed his cell phone. He dialed Elle's phone and listened to it ring. Meanwhile, Elle was attempting to compose herself for the call which she thought was from anyone but Nick.
"Hello," Elle managed to say through her tears.
"Elle, hear me out."
"Leave me alone. Please just go away." Elle said as calmly as she could.
"Fine Elle. If you aren't willing to hear me out, then maybe you don't deserve me."
"Yeah, your right Nick, I don't deserve you. Maybe you should think before you open your mouth. Oh, wait, but you haven't ever done that before so why should it matter?"
"You know what Elle..." Nick couldn't think of anything to add.
"Like I said before, leave me the hell alone." Elle said. Elle hung up the phone and sat it down on the floor. Seconds later, the phone rang again.
"Fuck off Nick. Leave me alone," Elle yelled into the receiver.
"Hello to you too Elle. Damn," Elle's best friend Nicole said. "I am so happy that I called you."
"No, Nicole, not you."
"You are obviously mad, I'll call you tomorrow."
"No...wait." Before Elle could respond, Nicole hung up.
Feeling completely alone, Elle got up and walked into the bedroom. She laid down on the bed and cried herself to sleep.
Elle stopped her voice from rising, "I thought that maybe you had come back, and I didn't mean this "bad boy, dumb, cute, MTV, Nick," I meant the Nick that used to be so caring; the Nick that pulled the flowers out of my front lawn just so he could show up at my front door with flowers on our first date, the Nick who I had to teach how to dance at the first formal. I am so happy that I was here for you to lust at. Do you want me to just strip off my clothes and do you too because that can be arranged, but since you seem to be thinking with your dick right now, maybe that's what you expected. I guess that I don't have to tell you, but if you hadn't told me that I was just some ten second passion fling from being on tour too long, I would have told you that I thought that I was falling for you."
It had been three days since she and Nick had blown up at each other. The day after their fight, Elle called the hotel that the group was staying in to attempt to talk to Nick, but they had already checked out. From the road, Howie called to say his goodbyes. Elle then heard from Brian, AJ, and Kevin, but not Nick. When he was asked if he would like to talk to Elle, a "fuck no" escaped his lips. She told them that she was sorry for any pain that she had caused them and thanked each one of them individually. The four agreed to call her later in the month after they had settled back into the Florida life. Nicole still hadn't called back. At this point, Elle couldn't think beyond the sadness and anger which had built up inside of her.
Nick looked out the window of the tour bus as it neared Orlando. He couldn't believe how much things with Elle had changed. One second he was kissing her, and everything felt so right, and then the next second, things had come crashing down.
"How are you doing?" Brian asked. Nick looked up to see Brian and AJ standing over him.
"I feel like shit. Thanks for asking."
"I hate to say this Frack, but in a way, you deserved it." Brian said.
"Brian's right Nick, and I mean, come on, Elle is like, one of the sweetest people that I have ever met. To top that, she's damn fine..."
"I only said it because you told me to Brian." Nick said as he glared at Brian.
"I never told you to kiss Elle and then make her feel like a slut. Don't twist my words Nick. I simply said-"
"Just leave me alone for a little, okay?," Nick said.
After Brian and AJ had left, Nick let his mind wonder again. "What did I do? Why did I allow myself to screw things up with Elle?"