___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nick's mind was still reeling from the doctor's appointment hours
later. It turned out Gavin just had a cold, and she had prescribed
an antibiotic for him. That was not it though. It was her herself.
Her name was Kayleigh. He had read her name on the prescription. He
could not get her out of his head. That was unusual for Nick.
Since
Amanda he hadn't even looked at girls anymore, but after today, he
felt a strong sense of life whenever he thought of her. He couldn't
believe Gavin had taken to him as well as he had. Usually he didn't
talk to anyone except him immediate family, even the guys had
trouble with him sometimes, but he had latched onto Kayleigh. He
wasn't even chewing on his fingers anymore, just because she made
the comment about cooties! Nick couldn't believe her. She was almost
too good to be true.
Wake me up inside
now that I know what I'm without
He didn't understand the way she made him feel. She took his breath
away, and she was only around him for thirty minutes, but he felt
like he had known her forever. This was ridiculous, he shouldn't be
feeling this way. There was no way he could have feelings for
someone else. It was still too soon after Amanda.
Gavin was sleeping in the next room. Aaron was out with Hilary,
leaving Nick alone with his thoughts that were slowly driving him
insane. He picked up the nearby telephone and punched in the
familiar numbers that would connect him with one of his best
friend. Alex's voice crackled a crossed the line moments later.
"Hey man what's up?" Alex asked. Wondering what Nick wanted, he
never called "just to talk".
"You busy? I'm bored, Gavin's asleep and Aaron's out." Nick pouted.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on my way" Alex said as he hung up.
Nick replaced the phone on the receiver and busied himself in
cleaning up the house. He started a load of laundry and washed the
dishes in the sink. He checked on Gavin and noted that he was still
sleeping soundly. He crept into the room silently and sat down on
the edge of the rocking chair that sat next to Gavin's crib. He
watched his son sleeping. It was something he did often, and never
grew tired of it. He loved his son tremendously, and cherished the
time they had together. He never wanted Gavin to feel for him what
he felt for his own father, hatred, a sense of dread at the very
thought of seeing him. He never wanted Gavin to feel that way about
him.
Nick broke his gaze away from his son when he felt the presence of
someone else in the room. Alex was leaning against the doorframe
watching them,
"He's getting big," Alex commented crossing his arms.
"I know," Nick said nodding his head. "Before too long he won't even
want anything to do with me. "
"Nah that will never happen Nicky. You're a strong man just raising
him on your own. How many guys your age does that? Gavin knows how
tough his dad is. He will probably end up loving you even more for
the effort you have put forth." Alex said trying to ease Nick's
mind somewhat. "Come one let's let him sleep," he said extending his
arm.
Alex wrapped his arm around Nick's shoulders and led him into the
living room. They both stretched out on the couch.
"Is it working out having Aaron here?" Alex asked string off into
space.
Nick nodded. "Yeah, it makes things easier. Leslie and Angel aren't
thrilled with it. They feel like Aaron abandoned them, but he
couldn't handle it over there anymore. I understand his reasoning. "
The two men sat in silence for a while before either one spoke up
again.
"You have done really well Nicky," Alex said looking at him.
"I've tried. It's not easy. It sure isn't a one man job!" Nick said
laughing. "But he is mine, and I love him, that makes it worth all
the heartache."
************************************************
Wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before I come undone
save me from the nothing I've become
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life