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The date had been perfect. At least in Nick's opinion it was. The evening had been perfect from the start. She had looked breathtaking from the moment he had picked her up. They were silent most of the way to the restaurant. Nick felt like he had lost the ability to speak. He didn't want to make a fool of himself. Once the both got to the restaurant they loosened up.

They had had dinner, and then went for a moonlit walk on the beach. They had bonded in a way that Nick had never experienced. He honestly felt like Kayleigh understood him, understood and accepted the emotions he felt. It was uncanny. He had finally found the perfect person. He honestly felt like she understood him more than Amanda ever did,

She still had not mentioned anything of her past, and now, more than ever, Nick felt like she was holding something back. Something that brought her a great sense of hurt and pain. Nick's curiosity almost got the better of him, but he restrained himself and never came out and asked her what cause her so much anguish. He wanted to listen to her problems, give her a chance to explain.

On the drive home Nick had a million thoughts on his mind. How would Gavin react to a female role in his life? He already knew that Gavin liked Kayleigh, but would he like her if Nick started dating her. It would be something to figure out. He only wanted to make decisions that he and Gavin would both benefit from.

He pulled in his driveway and momentarily forgot that he had asked Alex to baby-sit. He was glad though, maybe he could get Alex to listen and straighten this whole mess out in his head.

He locked his truck up and then entered the house through the backdoor so he wouldn't wake Gavin. Alex was on the phone in the kitchen, but quickly ended the call when he saw Nick walk in.

"It was the Mrs." Alex said hanging the receiver back up on the base.

Nick sat on one of the island stools and folded him hands on the tabletop. Alex took the seat in front of him and poured him a glass of Kool-Aid. Everyone drank Kool-Aid at the Carter house. It was almost the only think Nick managed to get Gavin to drink. Gavin would only drink it if everyone else did.

"So I'm taking the date wasn't so good," Alex said passing the cup to his younger friend.

He hated to see Nick upset like this. It was horrible the first few months after Amanda's death. Alex didn't do well with upset people.

"No, no the date was perfect, I just. I really like her J. I just don't want to rush into anything. You know? How am I supposed to be sure that this is the best thing for me, for Gavin? He's my whole world, and if he's not happy then that's the end of it. I don't know how to feel. What should I do?" Nick said with pleading eyes.

Alex sighed deeply before he said anything. He took of his sunglasses and rubbed his tired eyes roughly.

"The way I see it is that you deserve to bee happy. If Kayleigh makes you happy, then I say go for it. You need happiness in your life Nick. You can't get through life as a shell. And that's exactly what you are; you are the shell of your former self. You haven't been the same since Amanda's death, and you just don't act like the same Nick that I watched grow up. Then tonight, you were so excited about this date. I haven't seen you that happy in forever. You need that happiness Nick. If you are that worried about it though, take it a day at a time. Gradually bring her into Gavin's life. Don't make anything official yet, just do stuff as friends, hang out, get to know each other better, then if you are comfortable, then start dating. "

Nick nodded. Maybe it wasn't as hopeless as he thought it was.

I've been so wrapped up in my warm cocoon
But something's happening, things are changing soon
Im pushing the edge, feeling it crack
And once I get out, there's no turning back

Watching the butterfly go towards the sun
I wonder what I will become