Chapter 52
Amanda found Christin in a bathroom stall throwing up.
“Christin... honey. It’s ok, but are you?”
“A few more minutes.” Christin answered. “I’m fine, food just isn’t settling well in my stomach or
mind.”
“Well, they can’t find out, you’re doing good.”
“Yeah. Let me wash my face with some cold water and touch up my make up.” Christin walked
over to the sink.
“I sure hope Christin’s ok.” Nick said, back at the table.
“I know, it sounds like she has worse of a cold than she said she has.” Howie commented.
“If she’s that bad, she really shouldn’t be working.” Kevin remarked.
“You’re right. She could get way sicker.” Nick said.
“Way.” Brian agreed. “Well, we should really talk to her when she gets back.”
“Yeah. She doesn’t need to be working so hard.” Howie said.
They all sat in silence for a while, then Kevin repeated. “We’ll talk to her about it.”
“Talk to who about what?” Christin asked as she walked back to the table with
Amanda.
Everyone turned their heads towards Christin. “Well....?” Christin asked, crossing her
arms.
“We were just talking about how sick you were, and how you shouldn’t be pushing yourself
working so hard.” Kevin explained.
“Oh.” Christin and Amanda sat back down. “Well, you need not worry about me. At all. I’ve been
to the doctor. She said it was fine for me to work. It’s nothing to worry about. Just eat and
drink plenty of liquids, and take my vitamins when I wake up and when I go to sleep.”
Amanda kicked Christins foot under the table.
Christin whinced.
“You ok?” Howie asked.
“Fine. So did you order?” Christin asked, changing the subject.
“Yeah, Kev said he remembered you saying that Amanda didn’t eat meat, so we thought salad
would be fine. Is that kewl?” Nick asked.
“Yeah. I’ve only recently stopped eating meat. I mean, I’ll eat it if I have to, but I try not to as
much as possible. The last time I had meat was a month and a half ago.” Amanda
explained.
The rest of the meal they joked and laughed. AJ was the only one who was really quiet. That
was only because of the effect of Christin being so close. He just couldn’t figure out what to
do.
When everyone was getting up to leave, AJ reminded Christin that they needed to
talk.
Christin, seeing it was vound to happen and the farther she pushed it the more stressed she was
likely to become which wasn’t good, agreed. “Amanda can you ride in the limo? I really need to
talk with AJ.”
“You sure?” Amanda asked.
“Positive. It’ll be aight.” Christin walked back over to AJ and whispered “We better hurry,
before security is on you like white on rice.” AJ and Christin quickly exited the restraunt, and
got into Christins car before anyone noticed.
Christin drove around before she said anything.
“AJ.”
“Christin.”
“AJ please let me go first.”
“Ok.”
“AJ, I just wanna say that I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“For the way that I ran out. I should have stayed and talked it over there, instead of having to do
this. That night was a bad mistake though. It was a great night, but thats all it was.”
“How can you say that? Can you honestly say that you didn’t feel anything for me? Cause if you
can, you are one hell of a liar. I can’t even do that, no matter how hard I try to deny it. And
believe me, I’ve tried.”
“I can’t honestly ay I didn’t feel anything, because I did. I felt something for you when I first met
the real you at the club.”
“Then thats the problem.”
“The probem is that we acted on it. We should have never acted on it. I’m not good for you. It’ll
end in heartache. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to get hurt. Even if we were able to
work it out, what about the media?”
“What about it? If I loved you, and you loved me, then nothing should come between us. Not
even the media.”
“It shouldn’t AJ. But it will. I’ve seen it. Not only on TV, but with my friends. Its so hard to
trust someone in this profession. You don’t know whether to believe the media with their
picture, or someone who claims to love you. You can’t say its never happened. Why do you think
celebrities divorce so many times? Because they love all the attention? I don’t think so. You
should know better than me. You’re the celebrity here. Not me.”
“Christin, I know what you are talking about. I’ve lived through it. I’ve lost a few girlfriends. So
has Howie, Brian, Nick, and Kevin. But it hasn’t stopped us from having relationships with
people. There is always a chance it won’t work, just like there is a chance it will
work.”
“I know AJ, but I’m not ready for a high-profile relationship, plus, I don’t want to screw up
you’re career. It would not just be your career. It would be Brian’s, Kevin’s, Nick’s, and Howie’s.
There are more people to think about here. And if we were ever to get together, how would it
work? I live in San Francicso, and you live in Orlando, on the other side of the country. I’m sorry
I just don’t think a long-distance relationship will work. Maybe I’ll be reasonable here. You
should have stuck with Lilia. She could take all the pressure. She could handle the distance.
Maybe you can go back. She was there for you. She was a bitch. What am I talkign about? I’m
losing my mind. Oh my gosh. I’m really losing my mind.”
“No, Christin, you’re just confused. You don’t know how to describe your feelings to me, much
less yourself. So you try to deny them. Guess what? I can describe mine. You know what I call
it? Love. I have said this before, but it didn’t hold as much ,meaning as it does at this moment. I
love you.”
“No, you don’t. You can’t.”
“Why? Because you won’t own up to your feelings?”
Christin pulled the car into the parking lot of The Firm and parked it in her parking spot.
Turning to AJ, she had tears in her eyes that she refused to let fall. “AJ, I’m not a very lovable
person. I’m the type of girl that guys like to take home to mommy dearest because I’m succesful,
but I’m not long-term relationship material. I’m so involved in my work , and to love me is not
avery wise idea because I don’t return your love. I can’t return your love. It’s just too hard for me
at this point in my life. I don’t love you. I can’t love you. Let someone else love you. Not me.
There are a million girls you can have. Love them. Not me. I don’t love you. I can’t love you. No
possible way.”
“I don’t want to love a million girls. I want to love one. You. Why do you keep sayin you don’t
love me, you can’t love me? You aren’t trying to convince me, you’re trying to convince yourself.
But no matter what, you can’t convince yourself. Cause guess what? Your heart won’t let you.
Will it?”
“AJ I don’t think we should go any farther. I don’t love you. End of discussion. Please, lets just
drop it. We don’t need to talk anymore because it’s just going to hurt. If we meet we’ll meet in a
group. Bye AJ.” She got out of the car and walked away, into the building. Out of AJ’s life.
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Chapter 53
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