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Hey Everyone, wassup? Welcome to issue #3! Once again, we've had some setbacks, and haven't been able to get the zine out as soon as we would have wanted to. But we hope you know that we don't intend on giving up anytime soon! Hope you like what we've put together for you this ish! And if you have ANY comments whatsoever, please feel free to email one or all of us! I'd like to make a quick shout-out to Becky, who made that totally cute doll at the top of the page. Thanks so much Becky! It's awesome girl! And of course, welcome to all the new subbies, as well as to our newest editor, Kari...(Love you kitten!)
"He is the fair Sir Lancealot, He likes to sing and dance a lot!"

@}-,-,-,----- @}-,-,-,----- BexXx @}-,-,-,----- @}-,-,-,-----

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Howdy Howdy from GA yall! How yall likin the zine so far? Hope yall havent peed in your pants too much :D. Thanks to all of you who send in those RAWKiN comments...you make my life worthwhile *sniffles and starts to sing* You are so beautiful....to meeee....cant you seeee....ok, had to have a moment there ;D Keep on sending in those great comments, we love all you guys! *Blows the subbies a big fat kiss* Till then, may all your dreams invole Chris Kirkpatrick and whipped cream on the beach...no wait....thats my fantasy *giggles* We'll just keep that on the downlow :-x. See ya'll later

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i h o l l y i
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i Nsync concert ticket- $55.00 ii
i Gas $$$ to get there- $20.00 ii
i Nsync concert t -shirt- $32.00 ii
i Seeing Chris shake his ii
i HOT ass live- PRICELESS!! ii
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Hey hey!!! This is Ly!!! : ) How are y'all doing??? Hope all is going well! I just wanted to say hi and that i hope you girlies are enJOEYing the nl! since I'm doin the contests....so I'll just give ya a lil update on what the next contest is! Well, I guess you heard about what the prize is! This is going to be a huge contest!!! So y'all best participate if you girlies wanna try and win an *NSYNC marionette of YOUR CHOICE!!! That's right! you could win your very own marionette doll! You know you want one! psst!!! They're sooo cute!!! : ) (And if you already have your fave, then a 2nd one wouldn't hurt! Heck there are 5 guys! try winning one of the others!!!) So participate already!!! Well that's it for now! Ttyl and take cares!!! Baby ba ba ba!!!

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*Nsync Preschool



This week we explore what would happen if Chris Kirkpatrick were left in charge of a class of preschoolers...
(HEAVEN HELP US!!!)



"Ok, Kiddos, time for art," Chris said. He pulled out a giant box of Play-dough and sat it on the table. "Today, we are going to make tacos," he announced. Pulling out a clump of yellow dough, he began to demonstrate.
"Start with the shell." He began making a perfectly shaped taco shell.
"Like this, Mister?" Little Tommy asked Chris.
"No, what are you stupid? That aint the way that you make a fricken taco shell! and don't ask me to help you either, you know that I have a bad back, and it hurts me to bend over!!"
At last, all the kids had made dough taco shells, perfected to Mr. Kirkpatrick's liking, and were happily adding the "fillings." Chris surveyed the table and smiled.
"All right, I see we're all through," Chris noted. "Now, here comes the best part...EATING IT!!", and with that, he took a huge bite of his play-dough concoction. The Children looked at him like he was crazy.
"Why are you just sitting there?" he exclaimed. "Eat your damned taco NOW!"
Reluctantly, the children began to put their creations into their mouths. Lance noticed what was going on, and ran over there, leaving his class unattented.
"Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick! What in tarnations are you doing?" he asked, shaking his finger at him. "These children cannot EAT the tacos, they're not food!"
"Listen here, country boy, I dunno about how you do things in Mississippi, but from where I come from we EAT damn tacos! I think you fell off your horse one too many times!"
"Chris, yes, I know, that is a taco," Lance began to reason, "and I know that it looks real, but all the ingredients are completely artificial. These type of tacos are merely to look at," he explained.
"Now, You know that the parents are going to be very upset when they come to pick up their children, and find play-dough staining their teeth. And why shucks, Chris, for all you know, some of these children could be allergic to the Red Number 40 dye that is used to color this stuff"
He led Chris over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. "Now, I think you should sit over there in the timeout chair, and think about what you did. Untill you can behave properly, you are not allowed to get up. And also, I'm going to make you write a letter of apology to each and every one of the parents, for possibly endangering their child's lives."
Chris stomped off to the corner in a huff. "Awwww man, I never get to have any fun," he whined as he plopped down in the chair. "All I'm gonna be able to do now is sit here, stare out the window, and look at the tree."
Suddenly, Chris began to cry out "LOOK AT THE TREE!!! LOOK AT IT!!! HEY, DO YOU GUYS SEE THE TREE?"
Lance, becoming frustrated, went over to Chris' "time out" spot, and turned his chair around, facing the wall. "You're never gonna learn!" he exclaimed.
"Awww man!!" Chris sniffled.

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Horoscopes
This week, we let the Man...The Myth...The Legend...Mister Timberlake himself have the honors of reading our subscriber's futures. Things got kinda out of hand...I guess it's true what they say, never work with Children OR Animals...
(Just a note, I'm sure you all know this is NOT really Justin writing these...it's us. (Namely BexXx this time.) So don't send us requests for Justin's email address please! Thanks!)

Aries - (3/21 - 4/19):
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
Aiight, here's da dilly. You's gonna have ta deal wit some shit come October suttin or otha. Don't ask me fer details, cause dat aint mah job, aiight? Mah job is ta be da Phyne-lookin muhphucka I is! So deal wid it.

Taurus - (4/20 - 5/20):
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
Yo, you gonna have a damned good month foo! `Cept fo' when you's gonna be a little bored round the middle of da month. So I'll tell ya what ta do when dat time comes around...Sit on yer bed and look at pictures of me! That's bound ta make anyone happy! (Not to mention, horny as hell!)

Gemini - (5/21 - 6/21):
Lucky Numba: 69 x 2 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
Aiight look, I'mma send out an open call to ALL twins. (Since Gemini's be da sign of twins and all.) Y'all are invited to meet mah fine ass backstage for a little bump `n grind. `Specially if yer cute.

Cancer - (6/22 - 7/22):
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
You's gonna have trouble in love dis month. Like some wack-ass foo's gonna break yer heart or some shit. In that case, come to Justin...let Daddy Timberlake make you feel ALL better...(Just make sure you bring some handcuffs...I kinda like dat kinky shit.)

Leo - (7/23 - 8/22):
Lucky Numba: 68 (Remind me dat I owe ya 1) Lucky Color: Baby Blue
Let's see here...What does da magic 8 ball have in store for you dis month? (Cause you know dats about da only psychic power I got...Hell, who needs psychic power when you as PHYNE as I is?) Yeah...dat's it...I'm phyne! Dat's yer horoscope!

Virgo - ( 8/23 - 9/22):
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
Virgo...hmm...dat means you's a virgin or some shit? Yo baby, I'll hook you up wit mah celly digits...cuz I can sho nuff fix dat fo' ya. Oh yeah, yer horoscope...Um...yer gonna screw a pop star dis month! *wink wink*

Libra - (9/23 - 10/22):
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
Yo, keep yer eye on yer friends dis month. Dey's gonna try and do suttin real mean ta yo ass. When dey do...sue em for a million bucks. Oh wait, yer friends prolly don't have a million bucks like mines do...Dat's aiight, just sue em for pictures of me...

Scorpio - (10/23 - 11/21)
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue (You startin ta see a trend?)
Dis month is gonna be da BOMB for you! You're gonna do all kindsa crazy shit! Make sure you take pictures and send em to me tho...Specially if dey include nudity!

Sagittarius - (11/22 - 12/21):
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
Here's da deal. You's gonna change yer job or suttin. Now back to me...I'm hot aint I? DAYUM! Have you SEEN me lately? I got da fro cut, and I'm lookin' all fly and shit! Man, I'd hate to have to be me...Hod up...I AM me...

Capricorn - (12/22 - 1/19):
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
You's gonna have a good month, I guess. Whateva you do, don't start likin' da Backstreet Boys or some shit...Cause ya know why? I aint IN da Backstreet Boys! And what would ya do without me?

Aquarius - (1/20 - 2/18):
Lucky Numba: 69 Lucky Color: Baby Blue
Dis month you's gonna turn into a egotistical, big-haired, mama's boy! Wait...hod up...Who da hell put dat in here? Dis is MY sign...Why da hell would you say dat `bout someone with MY sign? Oh HAIL NAH!!!!!

Pisces - (2/19 - 3/20):
Lucky Numba: I aint talkin' Lucky Color: Ya can't make me...
Nope...after dat last comment, I sure as hell aint gonna give up no more a mah precious time and shit. Don't y'all know who I am??? I am da PRINCE OF POP! I don't have ta take this kinda abuse from ANYONE! I am da N in NSYNC people! Without me, it'd just be SYNC. Get it? SINK? Y'all aint gonna push Justin around no mo'...HAIL NO! I'm gonna go call Brit or some shit...atleast SHE appreciates me! YO JC! DID YOU HEAR WHAT SOME FOO PUT INTO MAH HOROSCOPE ARTICLE? DAYUM! THA NERVE!

**Justin Stomps out of the room pouting**

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We have seen a butt load of these things around the net, on various emails, message boards, chat rooms, blah blah blah, you name it. Well, being the hooligans that we are, we figured what the hell.. why not make our own? It seems only fitting that we join the masses.

Anyway, here's what you do. You can do it a number of ways. To be honest, we really don't care how you do it, as you can get a bajillion different names (all equally as funny, may I add) So, take your first letter of your first name, first letter of your middle name, first letter of your last name... whatever. You can do it forwards, backwards. Hell, you can make up your OWN name. We don't care. It's still funny, no matter what name you use. Oh yeah, please don't be offended if you should come up with a "risque" name. That's the whole gyst of this thing: to be DIFFERENT. Anyway, here are the names that WE got:

Mel: Joey's Lap Dancing Frog
Bex: Shorty's Lactose Intolerant Jerry Springer Guest
Holly: Busta's Klepto-Obssessive Shuffleboard Tutor
Kari: Timberlake's Whorish Stage Dresser
Ly: Chris' Homicidal Stripper

Pretty insane huh? Well, go ahead, knock yourself out... you give it a shot! And please remember, this is all in fun!



A. Joey's
B. Lance's
C. Kirkpatrick's
D. Big Daddy's
E. JC's
F. Justin's
G. Bass's
H. Busta's
I. Sleepy's
J. Superman's
K. Timberlake's
L. Chris's
M. Poofu's
N. Twinkie Boy's
O. Lansten's
P. Fro Boy's
Q. Fatone's
R. Shorty's
S. Chasez's
T. Curly's
U. Squeaky's
V. Italian Stallion's
W. Scoop's
X. JuJu's
Y. Steve Fatone's
Z. Crackhead's


A. Frumpy
B. Spazzy
C. Roach Infested
D. Trampy
E. Lactose Intolerant
F. Sickeningly Peppy
G. Pornographic
H. Homicidal
I. Toe Biting
J. Whorish
K. Pickle Sucking
L. Klepto-Obssessive
M. Lap Dancing
N. Masturbating
O. Bloated
P. French-Toast Buying
Q. Wishy Washy
R. Airheaded
S. Gothic
T. Schizophrenic
U. Turtle Humping
V. Paint Chip Eating
W. Demon Possessed
X. Easy
Y. Taco-Consuming
Z. Rabid

A. Drug Dealer
B. Bible Salesman/woman
C. Telemarketer
D. Aspiring Meter Reader
E. Frog
F. Pooper Scooper
G. Jerry Springer Guest
H. Gynecologist
I. Jock Itcher
J. Squeaky Toy
K. Stripper
L. Dog Walker
M. Grave Digger
N. Bandana Bedazzler
O. Geritol-Supplier
P. Psychic Hotline Worker
Q. Prima Donna
R. Shuffleboard Tutor
S. Stage Dresser
T. Cyber Slut
U. String Cutter
V. Wedding Singer
W. Booger Collector
X. Battery Acid Eater
Y. Cheese Danish
Z. Greeting Card Writer

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~*~ Random Ramblings ~*~
by:
@}-,-,-,----- @}-,-,-,----- BexXx @}-,-,-,----- @}-,-,-,-----

Alright folks, I'm back again. This time I'm going to go off on my LEAST favorite living creature...The Teeny.

Teenies are a rabid lot. I've seen this from experience...Not only in the AOL Nsync chats (Which me and the other editors frequent almost on a daily basis.) But at concerts - Where these creatures are in their ELEMENT.

I would like to pinpoint one in particular that I crossed paths with at the Rose Bowl Concert in Pasadena this past summer...

I, unlike a lot of *Nsync fans, have this strange thing called a "Sense of Humor". I was there with a very close friend of mine, whom we will call "John". John and I noticed a group of screaming girls gathered around the fence at the front of the arena. We went over to investigate what was driving them into such a frenzy...

"We just saw Justin's hair!" One of them screeched, when I asked her what was up. To which I turned to John and replied, "See? I knew that thing had a life of it's own!" I was answered with nothing but a dirty look by Teeny #1.

Teeny #2 (Or was that Teeny #4,653?) Was arguing at the gate with a cotton candy vendor because, (And I swear this all to be 100% TRUTH!) "You don't have any Baby Blue Cotton Candy! Baby Blue is Justin Timberlake's favorite color!!!!" Need I say more?

Then, doing something I had wanted to try ALL DAY...I turned to John and asked, "Who are we here to see again?"

John smiled knowingly, and looked back at me, "I think we're here to see the Backstreet Boys!"

I laughed, enjoying our little game and cried out, at the top of my lungs..."I LOVE YOU NICK!!!!!!!!"

One teeny, standing about a foot to my right looked at me with disbelief in her baby-blue bandana shaded eyes..."This is an NSYNC concert...BITCH!"

It was ON! I handed John my purse and looked at this little creature, almost blinded by the glare of her homemade tin-foil JRT necklace (Again, I kid you not.) and held out my arms as though to say, "Let's go!"

"I don't think I heard you right..." I said, walking a little closer to her, "Did you just call me a bitch?"

She nodded her head, making her slumber-party created corn-rows flop around her head like giant spaghetti noodles. "Yeah...and I'd do it again, BITCH!"

Now, I do not stand for ANYONE calling me a bitch...especially when I did nothing particularly bitchy...I was merely making a joke. One of which any of my fellow editors, and hopefully those of you reading this would have simply laughed at, and let pass...but not this little monster...NO! She had been personally selected, apparently, by Jive entertainment to attack the older fans who were just trying to have a little fun.

This little girl saw me standing there, all but ready to throw punches if she continued to talk trash...and suddenly, her entire face changed...what was once defiance and unbridled teen angst...turned into complete, unfettered FEAR. And do you KNOW what she did??? She went running to her mom! It figures...don't it?

I have a little message for all of the teenies who might be reading this, (Although the majority of you, I'm sure are very cool, and in my situation probably would have done the same thing, if not worse.)

#1) YOU WILL NOT...I REPEAT...WILL NOT get the attention of an *Nsync member by wearing baby blue, a superman shirt, ANY article of FuManSkeeto clothing, the color orange, or ESPECIALLY not in the case of two girls I saw at the same concert...An MMC T-shirt.

#2) Screaming is UNNECCESSARY! Do you think they can PICK YOU OUT? I screamed ONE...count em folks...ONE time at my concert...and do you know why? It was when Johnny Wright told his sickeningly played out "Joey can't decide which color thong to wear" joke. Simply because the idea of Joseph Anthony Fatone in a thong SCARED THE LIVING BEJEZUS OUT OF ME!!!!!

And my Final point of the night,

#3) If you're going to a concert, and you're going to make a sign to hold up...MAKE IT ORIGINAL! "JC IS MY SPACE COWBOY" is dead and buried...As is "THE FRO IS LIKE WHOA". Oh, and if you're sitting any further back than say, the 5th row...Don't even BOTHER making a sign. The guys will never see it, and it's only annoying to those fans behind you who are trying to see the show. (I would like to dedicate this point to the idiot girl who sat in front of me in the 50th row holding up an I LOVE JUSTIN sign thru the better part of the show.)

Thanks for listening y'all...and Have a great week!
Direct all hate/love/I want you to die and go to hell mail to BexXxPLB@aol.com Now check out page 2!