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Peace, Love, & Bass
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¬ » ¦ [¯_] ` '. _ ¦ []-. { 10 / 09 / 01]
¬ » ¦ [¯_] [Bex, Mel, Liv, Julez} ` ' . _ ¦ []-.
¬ » ¦ [¯_] ` ' . { i s s u e # 1 0] _ ¦ []-.
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NAJY - Random alphabetical humor
Join that zine NOW. It's absolutely hilarious.
(''')[] `'.Opening Note` ' . _ ¦ []-.
Hello there my lovelies. Mel here hitting you with a little intro. Can you believe we've made it to issue ten? (Yes, that was supposed to be sarcastic.) The zine is over a year old now and we've only managed to send out 10 issues. Oh well, I guess the important thing is that we haven't given up. :o) We keep getting new subscribers at a pretty alarming rate, so, why quit? Well, there's really not much to say. I'm settled in in Jackson going to college and I'm liking it well enough. BE SURE to check out our contest in this issue. You can win a free WNBA/NSYNC promo poster! Also, be sure to check out our sister site at
www.angelfire.com/mn/nsynchumor
BexXx and myself are coeditors there as well, so you'll find MORE of our original humor (never before seen in PLB) on that site.
Well. I guess that's about it. Thanks for sticking with us and we hope you enjoy the issue. And of course, you can always email me here
Peace, Love, and Krispy Kreme
Wassup peoples!
As Mel said, the zine is over a year old and we've only done 10 issues...I feel bad for this...especially since PLB was my idea...anyway, here's issue 10, and I hope you guys enjoy it...if you don't enjoy it, feel free to email me and let me know.
I swear to you on JC's bedazzzled pink beret...we'll get on the ball and be to issue 20 in no time!
That's the Anthem, Get ya damn hands up!
BexXx
(''')[] `'.Mel's Top Ten ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Cs and Qs
Top Ten Things You'll NEVER Hear Joey Say
10. "I'd like a garden salad. No cheese, no dressing. With a Diet Coke, please"
9. "Man, my butt is ENTIRELY too flat"
8. "No, I don't want to sleep with you. You're dressed TOO slutty."
7. "Steve, you're a great brother. I love you!"
6. "I've decided to start taking Beano for my flatulence problem"
5. "Everyone knows I'm the best looking member"
4. "Twinkies? Ewwwww"
3. "I think I need to just slow down and pray about it"
2. "I'm worth more than that to be sleeping around with random people"
1. "Sex? No, I'm saving myself for marriage"
(''')[] `'.Who Let Da BexXx Out? ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Whatcha think?
CHRIS KIRKPATRICK:
Non-Smoking Advocate?
I smoke...but I prefer to call it "Miffing Justin"...(long story.)
My wonderfullest bestest friend, Dia HATES the fact that I smoke...and she intended to get me to quit by proving me wrong...here's the story.
We were going to the Fumanskeeto autograph signing...and I made the mistake of practically DARING Dia to get Chris to tell me to quit smoking.
We stood in line for what seemed like eleventy-twelve hours...and finally, we get up to Chris...what happened next is forever engrained in my mind.
Dia gets up to Chris and says, "Could you do me a favor?"
Chris asked, "What's that?"
Dia said, "Tell my friend she has to quit smoking!"
Chris: "Quit smoking? *Looks me dead in the eye, "Quit smoking!"
And I cannot believe I said this to him, but I said...
"Chris! You just ruined my life!"
He asked, "How did I do that?"
I said, "I bet her that you wouldn't ask me to quit!"
He answered, "Well, you gotta quit smoking!"
Now you may wonder if I actually quit...and the answer is...not completely.
I have cut back, but I haven't quit totally yet...and trust me, I will NEVER live it down.
So, that's my article for this issue...it's not exactly PURE humor, but I thought it would be interesting...especially cause I'm gonna share a pic of Chris that I took while this was all happening...
This pic is OBVIOUSLY Chris...but look closely at what he's signing...that would be Dia's Power Puff girl that she stores in the back window of her car...He looked at her strangely and asked, "You want me to sign your Power Puff girl?" LOL!
Anyway, I know I'm not my usual funny self...but I'm having some down time!
As always, feel free to email me! BexXxPLB@aol.com
Peace, Love and Justin's new hairdo,
BexXx
The following is a parody of "I Drive Myself Crazy" that BexXx wrote a few months ago. It's one of the funniest things I (Mel) have ever read. Enjoy it.
I Drive A Mercedes
Lying in my bed...sheets made of leather...
you don't know how much cash I have...
While you toss and turn...your wallets empty...
Your hard earned cash bought me this pad.
My pictures on your bedroom walls...
And now I smile as all that change falls.
I'm makin' bank - I drive a Mercedes...
Drive a Mercedes...Living off you.
Made a phat check, when I sang that last "baby"...
I drive a Mercedes...tempting you the way that I do.
Y'all still play the fool
You just don't see it
Just how rich you're making me
You confess your love, undying devotion...
I confess this suit's Versace
My power lies...In all this fame.
Your parents have theirselves to blame, Oh...
I'm makin' bank - I drive a Mercedes...
Drive a Mercedes...Living off you.
Made a phat check, when I sang that last "baby"...
I drive a Mercedes...tempting you the way that I do.
Glad that you don't know it...
(How much you spoil me, ladies.)
My lifestyle shows it...
(If only someone told you)
You bought all my pants...
All my ugly pants...Whoa...
I'm makin' bank - I drive a Mercedes...
Drive a Mercedes...Living off you.
Made a phat check, when I sang that last "baby"...
I drive a Mercedes...tempting you the way that I do.
(''')[] `'.Freebies ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Comment, Question, or Donate here
I realize that a lot of people signed up for this zine thinking it was solely a Lance zine (based on the title.) Well as you may have noticed, it's not a Lance zine... it's group humor. Well, to compensate for those of you who didn't realize what you were getting yourself into, I'll throw in a couple freebies for ya. The first is a Lance background Mel made. Feel free to use it in your emails and zines. No credit is needed.
Also, there is a small, funny mp3 attached of JC rapping about Yankee Doodle. It's worth checking out. :o)
(BG resized for easier viewing)
JC: Don't worry folks... he does this about once a week.
In the past we have promised REAL prizes to our readers. Well, we definitely want to live up to our word, we just tend to not know any good contest ideas. If you have any ideas, feel free to submit them here. Oh yeah, no member contests. We had one of those before and they tend to get messy. LOL.
Anyway, here is the deal. The prize up for grabs is a WNBA/NSYNC promo poster. All ya gotta do is write a witty, comical, humorous caption to the following photo. The winner we choose will receive the poster. Easy enough?
(''')[] `'.Link Swaps ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Send your link swaps here
I am no longer accepting ads. However, I WILL accept links. AOL tends to freak out when I try to insert ads due to the complex HTML of colors and such.
You •CaN •HaTe •THeM •NoW
....orginal hate and humor....
anti - britney spears Pepsi Porn ; The Real Life ;
I Speared Brit ; She's The Weakest Link ;
Pop Princess Wannabe ; Sucky Spears ;
A Whore's World ; Her Royal Slutness ;
Shitty Britty ; Princess of Porn ;
Put Some Damn Clothes On ;
Simply Sucks
anti - christina and britney Bashing Lyke Whoa
anti - bsb and nsync Anti Bsb & Nsync
anti - christina aguilera Anti X-tina
anti - britney and justin Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum ;
Justin + Britney = Bullshit
anti - willa ford Anti Willa Ford
britney spears humor all the BIG things ; Plastic Barbie
nsync humor CHUNK ; Peace , Love , & Bass ;
Cracknuts & the Tour Bus Whores ;
NSTINK Makes Me Ill
pop humor Nasty Nasty ; Whore of The Nation ;
I I Wanna do crack wit Chu BayBay
join the ring
Step in Cow Turds -- Random Humor
NAJY - Random alphabetical humor
(''')[] `'.That's all folks... ` ' . _ ¦ []-. *sniff* but, but, but!!!
That concludes issue 10. Issue 10 was brought to you by the letters J and Y, Dan Quayle, a package of ketchup, and Busta's godmother. Only BexXx was partially harmed in the making of this issue. Joey's rollers weren't harmed at all. Chris was attacked by a swarm of angry midgits. Mel was savagely beaten.
You know the rules. You may take the humor if you want to keep it for yourself. If you want to use it elsewhere, we beg that you maintain the decency to at least ask us first (links are right above.) If not, we'll send Wade J Robson after your unoriginal ass.
