This is the "script" from a Jerry Springer show, taped in the year 2015. (Hehehe, Jerry must have to be in a freakin wheel chair by now)
~Jerry: Welcome to the show everyone. Today we have a special treat for all of you. We are taking a trip back in time. Think back, to the year 2000. Think back to the music. The hottest thing at the time were the notorious boybands, and today, we have the hottest of all them with us. (A group of maybe 9 middle aged mothers start screaming.) Yes, ladies and getnlemen, we have NSYNC. Please, give a warm welcome for our first guest, Joey Fatone.
(Joey walks out wearing leather pants and a neon colored feather boa, smiling casually at the astonished crowd and takes his seat))
~Jerry: Joey, welcome to the show. It's good to have you.
~Joey: Thanks, Jerry. It's good to be here.
~Jerry: So, tell me Joey, what have you been up to?
~Joey: Well, after Nsync, I took it easy for a while. And now, I own my own buisness.
~Jerry: Really? What kind of buisness?
~Joey: Well, it's a whore house.
~Jerry: (nodding) Oh?
~Joey: Yeah, you see, all our old fans are now legal...so it was pretty easy for me to recruit most of my employees
(Joey smiles mischeviously as the 9 fans in the front scream and the rest of the crowd begins to repeatedly chant "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry." like a group of mindless idiots.)
~Jerry: Alright. Well, with that out of the way, let's welcome our next guest, Justin Timberlake.
(Justin walks (actually, it was more of a bounce) in from the side dressed head to toe in FUBU and wearing a handfull of gold chains and No Limit Soldier charms.)
~Jerry: Welcome to the show, Jus- (Jerry stops and pushes his earpiece in to hear over the 9 womens screams). Umm, the producers have just asked me to ask you if you would be able to take off some of your necklaces, your reflecting into the cameras.
~Justin: No problem G. (Justin takes off his chains and shoves them in his pocket.)
~Jerry: Yes, so, hi Justin. How have you been?
~Justin: Aww, yo man, life is sweet as a mutha f*cka! I be's ownin FUBU now. (For those of you who don't know, FUBU stands for 'For Us By Us', ::silence:::cough:::: , right)
~Jerry: Well that's grea-
~Justin: Yea, and I be's workin on a new album. I'm tryin ta get Puffy or Em to back me up but their people still haven't called my people yet.
~Jerry: (Clears throat, not appreciating being interrupted) That's nice. Have you seen your old band mate? Joey here? He's the latest Hugh Hefner. (who, yes, is STILL alive and well)
~Justin: Hell, yea man. Who do you think helped him find all those lil' hoes?
(Justin does the same cute little laugh he's always had and Joey cracks a smile and licks his teeth. They exchange a high five. The 9 mothers scream (1 passes out) and the rest of the crowd begins the broken record-like chanting...again.)
~Jerry: Okay. So, let's bring out our next guest, why don't we? Joshua Chasez.
(JC walks out seemingly looking normal. Normal clothes, normal walk, same dazzeling smile and perfect teeth ::::sigh::::)
~Jerry: Hi there Joshua.
~JC: Hey Jerry. How you doing?
~Jerry: Pretty good, pretty good. How 'bout you?
~JC: I can't complain, things are great. I'm happily married with 5 kids, 2 dogs, 7 cats and a goldfish. Minister at my local church...
(On the side you hear Joey burst out laughing, everyone looks over startled)
~Jerry: Is there something funny Joey?
~Joey: What? Oh, no. Not really, only...that's the biggest crock of bull shit I've ever heard!
(The crowd gasps)
~Jerry: Why Joey, whatever do you mean?
~Joey: I happen to know that JC happens to be one of our regular customers.
(Crowd gasps again and 1 of the 8 mothers left standing passes out)
~JC: Shit! How did you find out?
~Joey: Did you really think Britney wouldn't tell me?
~Jerry: Woaw, woaw, woaw. Britney?
~Joey: Yeah, Spears. She seems to be JC's favorite.
~JC: Nah, I've just been f*cking her since MMC and I kind of can't get away from her.
(Before I continue, I have to say. The last line is somewhat disturbing, because if you used to watch MMC when you were younger, you would know that JC was like, what, 16? And Britney Spears looked like, 8? ... ewww. sorry, just had to say that.)
~Jerry: Well, actually JC, we have a little surprise for you. We have Britney backstage. (Crowd cheers, 7 mothers hiss) Let's bring her out! Britney?
(Britney Spears walks out wearing a tiny triangle top, her boobs have tripled in size, and tiny shorts, and takes her seat)
~Jerry: Hi Britney.
~Britney: Hi Jerry!
~Jerry: Was there something you wanted to say to Joshua?
~Britney: Oh! Ya! Hang on 1 second. (She holds up her hands and begins to 'tune' her voice...VERY off key)
~JC: My god! Just say what you have to say, will you? How the hell did your record ever sell?
~Britney: Like, your such a jerk JC! I have a whole speech my make-up artist wrote down for me about how much I never want to see you again. She's, like, SOOOO smart. She's the one who told me to get styrofome in these! (points to chest)
~JC: Don't you mean silicone?
~Britney: Ya, well, whatever. Just, shut up so I can start, okay? Alright, ummm, oh ya. How would you? Oh no, that's not right, I mean... How could you? Like I never want to see you again! .... What was I supposed to do next?
(Britney gets up and runs to the back to the audience to a man who decided he was made to be a woman. She/he/she....whispered something in her ear, she giggled and ran back)
~Britney: Okay, sorry bout this but she knows best!
(She slaps him across the face and storms off stage left)
~Jerry: Okay, so I think it's a good idea to bring out our next guest... no wait a minute, guests. Everyone, please welcome Lance Bass and Chris Kirkpatrick.
(The crowd begins cheering but immediately stops once they realize the two guests are holding hands. The crowd immidiately begins chanting again and 3 more mothers fall to the floor in a fit of tears leaving only 4 standing, or sitting I should say).
~Jerry: Well, this was unexpected. Umm, is there anything you want to say?
~Chris: Yes, me and Lance are very happy together.
(Lance nods in agreement but scoots his chair closer to Justin.)
~Jerry: Well, this is the first time the whole group has been together in 10 years. Is there anything you have to say to each other?
There was a short pause and then Lance spoke up.
~Lance: Yes...Justin, I love you.
(The crowd gasps and another mother passes out, there are only 3 left by now. Justin jumps up knocking his seat over. Lance follows)
~Justin: What?!?! Get away from me motha f*cka or I swear I'll get all my brotha's on yo ass, I swear!
~Lance: I-
~Chris: I thought you loved me!
~Lance: I'm sorry, Chris. But my heart has always belonged to Justin.
~Justin: Aww man! No wonder you always wanted to share a room.
~Lance: I was never sleeping.
~Justin: (whining) Man!
(All of a sudden Lance lunges a Justin, and well...you an guess, just include the floor, you can make your own detail. Everyone gets up and goes to do their own thing. Britney comes back.)
~Britney: Hey, did I leave my hair thing ou- JUSTIN! EWW!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????
(Justin tried to break free but couldn't)
~Britney: I used to date you!
(She storms off, never to be seen on the show again)
~Jerry: Okay, well we need to close up. Justin and Lance look a little, umm, busy. So...wheres Joey?
Camera cuts to Joey slipping his number to some hoesetta's in the audience.
~Jerry: Hmm, well, where's JC?
Camera cuts to a back-room showing JC half-naked on top of one of the concious mothers.
~Jerry: Oh, boy. Well, Chris, any final words?
~Chris: How you doin'? (winks at Jerry)
~Jerry: Okay, well I think it's time for our final thougt. We've learned that not everything is as it seems and even the truest of things can fall from under your feet. And as far as Lance, well, go for your goals. See you all tomarow.
*Side note: 1 million thanks to my girl Kristina for helping out with the script. We would both like to say neither of us feels any of the members of NSYNC are gay or smuts or anything of that sort. This was made for entertainment purposes, you don't even have to leave it as they're Nsync.
