"Did you hear that?" I asked. It was unlike anything I'd ever heard before. "Um, hear what?" Lance asked, not really slowing down any. "Nevermind." I said under my breath. I was probably just a little out of it.
After I got in the car and shut the door I realized that Lance hadn't started the engine and was just staring straight ahead. So I looked out my window and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited...
10 minutes later
and waited and waited. Alright, he's never gonna go! I thought angrily. "So, you hungry?" he finally asked. "No." "Oh, okay. Well, there's this new movie out, it's abou-" "Aren't we supposed to go somewhere to talk?" "Oh, well where do you wanna go?" "I dunno." I said. I hope our talk wasn't going to be this "interesting". Nodding, he started the car and drove out, him seeming eager to go there, me blindfolded 2 ways. 1)Where are we going? 2)What were we gonna say? Deciding not to worry about it I sat back and watched the tree's go by.
About 25 minutes later the car stopped and Lance turned off the engine. I looked around and saw only saw sand and blackness and in the far distance the lights of the shops.
Neither of us sure of what to say we zoned off into our own little worlds. I looked over and Lance and saw that I didn't even know who he was anymore. 'How did we grow this far apart?'I thought even though, deep down, I knew the answer all too well.
'This was all a huge mess!' I thought to myself as I speeded down the highway. It took me all night to realize I couldn't let this happen. About a week ago is when we ended our relationship. Actually, I ended it. It seemed right at the time . . . but then the phone calls came.
"Laura, it's Lance. Please pick up." "Laura, don't do this. I need to talk to you." "Please, Laura. I know your home. Please pick up." "Laura, I lov-"
The last one made me realize how I couldn't go through with this. I pulled over into the parking lot of the hotel they were leaving from any second now and parked. I jumped out of my car and turned around to start searching just in time to see their bus leaving.
'God, that was the worst day of my life. I can't do this again.' I thought feeling the tears swell up in my eyes and my throat choking up.
Not wanting him to see me cry I got out of the car and ran. I didn't know where I was going but I knew I had to get there fast especially when I heard him calling after me. The tears felt hot and salty and sticky on my face and the sand I kicked up hurt my legs.
Finally, not being able to breathe I had to slow down some. Unfortunately that was just enough to let Lance catch up.
He spun me around and held my shoulders. He didn't have to ask what was wrong.
I fell down into the sand and he sat next to me and held me. After a while of crying in his shirt I turned my face away, still leaning on him for support, and wiped the tears away.
"Sorry about your shirt." I said noticing the huge wet spot on the left side of his shirt. "It's no problem." he said shrugging. "Are you okay?"
I turned and looked out at the ocean and could see the moon reflecting in the water. It looked like you could walk out there and pick up a string of flourescent silver.
"I saw the bus leave." I said. When he didn't say anything I kept going. "The day you left, I went to talk to you and tell you . . . well I just went. When I got there your bus was pulling away."
After taking a deep breath he said "I'm so sorry." "Why?" I asked. "I don't know, but that's awful." I smiled a little. "Yeah, I guess it was traumatising but I moved on... kind of." "Not only that. Also that if we had talked we wouldn't be like this now." Sighing, I knew he was right. "So where does that leave us?" he asked. "I was hoping you knew."
He shook his head and pulled me in tight. It was the first time I felt really safe in a long time. . . too long.
With both of us stuck in a dead end we decided to figure it out tommarow. Back in his car, how I managed to walk all the way back out there I'll never know, I sat back and closed my eyes. Before falling asleep, I thought about how this is exactly how I want to be . . . forever.
