This was 110% requested.
Don't want it anymore?
Just unsubscribe below
Under Bill. 1618 Title III passed by the 105th U.S.
Congress, this newsletter CANNOT be considered
spam as long as the sender includes contact
information and a method for removal.
Peace, Love, & Bass: Page 2
¬ » ¦ [¯_] ` '. _ ¦ []-. { 09/ 18/ 03]
¬ » ¦ [¯_] [Bex, Julez, Dia, Katie} ` ' . _ ¦ []-.
¬ » ¦ [¯_] ` ' . { i s s u e # 1 6] _ ¦ []-.
Unsubscribe Sub a Bud Questions
Change SN Comments LINK Swap
Donate Doubles Other
Maximize for best viewing results, and join this zine.
(''')[] `'.Jabbering With Julie? ` ' . _ ¦ []-. OMG haha!!!
After the last issue was mailed, Jules resurfaced and was welcomed with open arms. Unfortunately, her return was short-lived and she's made herself invisible again. We apologize for her absence, but we do have a great skit for you.
Here is the winning entry from last issue's contest. Originally, we'd set out looking for a song parody, but these spoofs of breakfast cereal commercials had us goin'. Congratulations to Liz, who received last fall's issue of Entertainment Weekly, featuring Justin. :) Yay!
Scene: Two very bored looking teenage girls sitting at a dining table. There are very bland looking bowls of cereal in front of them and orange juice that is somehow dull looking.
VOICEOVER: (a male voice speaking in a very exaggerated manner, think Don Pardo of Laugh In) What's wrong girls? Tired of eating a boring breakfast?
(The girls look up and nod listlessly.)
VOICEOVER: Well, get rid of those same ol', same ol' cereals and treat yourself to breakfast with Nsync!
(The girls squeal and quickly knock the bowls and glasses off onto the floor - splattering milk, cereal, juice, and broken dishes everywhere.)
VOICEOVER: That's right girls - Justin and Chris from the ultahip, super groovy musical group Nsync now have their very own ultrahip, super groovy cereals!
(The girls squeal again and hug each other. Two cereal boxes appear on the table. The camera focuses on the first box. Its baby blue with Justin Timberlake's picture on both sides - shaved head shot on one side, a curly head shot on the other.)
VOICEOVER: If you really love Justin Timberlake..
(Both of the girls scream "Justin!" at the sound of the sacred name.)
VOICEOVER: (sounding indignant) Excuse me, I was speaking.
(The girls stop screaming and look sheepish.)
VOICEOVER: That's better. Now, as I was saying - if you really love Justin, you'll buy lots and lots of boxes of JuJubes. Its very, very sweet - just like Justin himself. But tell your parents you want it because it provides you with 1000% of the vitamins that you need everyday. JuJubes taste good and they help you to get a body like Britney's so that Justin will love you.
(The camera switches focuses to the other box. Its silver and has Chris Kirkpatrick's 2001 Rolling Stone solo cover shot on the front.)
VOICEOVER: If cra-a-a-azy Chris Kirkpatrick is your favorite, then you'll want to buy a few hundred boxes of ChrisLoops. It's fruity delicious, and chockful of yummy vitamins. So remember girls, if you want to date the guys in Nsync, you have to eat these cereals.
(The girls grab the boxes, rip them open, and start shoving the cereal into their mouths.)
VOICEOVER: Also available: Bass-O-Meals, JoeyO Pasta Bowls, and JC's Hyper Mix Power Drink.
Scene: The same two teenage girls at the same table, this time kind of picking at some mystery meat and some wasted looking green beans.
VOICEOVER: Girls, don't you wish you could be eating something tastier and more with it right now?
(The girls look up and nod, each of them giving the camera a "well, duh" look.)
VOICEOVER: Well, toss that....whatever it is into the garbage and start chowing down on these!
(Frozen meals and pasta bowls, all fanned out, appear on the table replacing the food that was there.)
VOICEOVER: Lance Bass and Joey Fatone from Nsync want you specifically to spend your mealtimes with them.
(The girls squeal as the camera focuses in on the frozen meals. They all display in large letters BASS-O-MEAL over Lance's smiling face.)
VOICEOVER: Lance Bass personally tested each and every recipe that's used in these meals. He told me to tell you that they are all yummy and you should eat these meals every single day for the rest of your lives. Bass-O-Meals come in six crunkalicious flavors. Try them all at least fifty times.
(We see the girls staring at the Bass-O-Meals as if mesmerized, and then the camera focuses on the pasta bowls. The lid of each bowl is Joey's face with the words JoeyO and a flavor printed across his forehead.)
VOICEOVER: Joey Fatone and his father created every single recipe to maximize the tastiness and nutritional value of JoeyO Pasta Bowls. You, too, can become a member of the Fatone family just by eating these meals.
(A shot of the two girls, still mesmerized by Lance's smile.)
VOICEOVER: Well, anyway - JoeyO Pasta Bowls come in eight popping flavors. Also available: JuJubes Sweetened Cereal, ChrisLoops, and JC's Hyper Mix Power Drink.
Scene: The by now familiar two teenage girls at the also familiar dining table. The girls are staring stuporously at two glasses in front of them. Each glass contains a murky mud colored liquid.
VOICEOVER: Girls, why are you torturing yourselves with those tasteless, so called energy drinks when you could be chugging down a real energy drink approved by JC Chasez of Nsync himself?
(The girls look up with a big grin on their faces, knocking the glasses to the floor without even looking.)
VOICEOVER: Would you like to try the energy drink that JC wants you to drink?
(The girls nod in a nearly violent way. Four liter sized bottles containing liquid in four different jewel like colors appear on the table. Each label has a picture of JC sticking his tongue out and the words "JC's Hyper Mix Power Drink" printed on it. The girls squeal at the sight of JC's face.)
VOICEOVER: That's right girls - this is what JC drinks to be so hyper on stage and he wants to share his secret with you. So buy gallons and gallons and gallons of the stuff so that you can make JC happy. JC's Hyper Mix Power Drink comes in four flavas, so you can say Bye Bye Bye to all that other stuff.
(The girls make a grab at the same bottle and start wrestling over it, name calling as they do.)
VOICEOVER: (raises his voice to be heard over the shouts of "Gimme that you slut" and "Its mine you ho") Also available: JuJubes Sweetened Cereal, ChrisLoops, Bass-O-Meals, and JoeyO Pasta Bowls.
(''')[] `'.Contest!!! ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Submit your ideas HERE
Sorry, we are currently not running any contests. But, as mentioned in past issues, we have promised REAL prizes to our readers. Liz can attest to that, as well as Amanda, our contest winner from Issue 11. We definitely want to live up to our word, we just tend to not know any good contest ideas. If you have any suggestions, feel free to submit them. Please, no member contests. We had one of those before and they tend to get messy. LOL.
(''')[] `'.Parody of the Issue ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Q's & C's?
This was originally submitted to us for the contest by Katharine. Unfortunately, by the time we got her parody, we'd already picked the contest winner. :( However, we still wanted to use her parody because we really liked it:
Ok it's to "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" by Bowling For Soup as you'll probably guess, and I wrote it a wee while ago. So here it is, in ode to Lance's desire to be like Justin, or at least be more popular. (See this just proves how boring school is if I resort to writing parodies in Maths!)
Loadsa Luv,
Katharine xx (Probably the only fan in Northern Ireland at a wild guess)
Guy That All the Girls Want
Nine O'Clock, Friday Night and i'm waitin,
How surprising that I don't have a date again.
My name is Lance, i'm a 'singer' and have blonde hair,
I'm in a boyband and as you can see i'm quite rare.
And as I walk, All the little girls laugh at me,
'Cause they all want Justin and Jc.
Now i'm watchin' Justin,
Tryin 2 be just like him,
Listenin to RnB, instead of country,
It's like my bad movie,
Where i'm looking groovy,
And all the fans would be screaming,
SOMEONE SHOOT ME!
As I fail miserably,
Tryin to be the guy that all the girls want.
I just can't help it, cause i'm from Mississippi,
My CD changer's full of Dolly Parton and Garth Brooks.
You know that if I disappeared you wouldn't miss me,
You'd just say 'Where's that freak with those funny looks?'
And as I walk all the little girls laugh at me,
'Cause they all want Justin and JC.
Now i'm watching Justin,
Tryin to be just like him,
Listenin to RnB instead of country.
I can't grow and Afro cause I don't have curly hair,
I'll never be like Justin, now i'm screamin 'LIFE'S NOT FAIR!'
It's like my bad movie,
Where I'm lookin Groovy,
And all the fans would be screamin,
SOMEONE SHOOT ME!
As I fail miserably,
Tryin to be the guy that all the girls want.
There I go again with spandex on,
Peroxide in my hair.
You don't even like me when i'm in this place,
So you won't miss me when I go into space!
Now i'm watchin Justin,
Tryin to be just like him,
Listenin to RnB instead of country.
I can't go an afro, cause I don't have curly hair,
I'll never be like Justin...........
It's like my bad movie,
Where I'm lookin Groovy,
And all the fans would be screamin,
SOMEONE SHOOT ME!
As I fail miserably,
Tryin to be the guy that all the girls want.
(''')[] `'.Link Swaps ` ' . _ ¦ []-. Send your link swaps here
We no longer accept ads. However, we DO accept links. AOL totally freaks out when we try to insert ads due to the complex HTML of colors and such. For back issues and more of our original humor (never before seen in PLB), visit our sister site *NSYNC Jaded Everybody's Free We're NSYNC-approved, and recently celebrated our four-year anniversary!
You •CaN •HaTe •THeM •NoW
....orginal hate and humor....
anti - britney spears Pepsi Porn ; The Real Life ;
I Speared Brit ; She's The Weakest Link ;
Pop Princess Wannabe ; Sucky Spears ;
A Whore's World ; Her Royal Slutness ;
Shitty Britty ; Princess of Porn ;
Put Some Damn Clothes On ;
Simply Sucks
anti - christina and britney Bashing Lyke Whoa
anti - bsb and nsync Anti Bsb & Nsync
anti - christina aguilera Anti X-tina
anti - britney and justin Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum ;
Justin + Britney = Bullshit
anti - willa ford Anti Willa Ford
britney spears humor all the BIG things ; Plastic Barbie
nsync humor CHUNK ; Peace , Love , & Bass ;
Cracknuts & the Tour Bus Whores ;
NSTINK Makes Me Ill
pop humor Nasty Nasty ; Whore of The Nation ;
I I Wanna do crack wit Chu BayBay
Kritt's Zines:
mp3pm [one mp3 a day - pop, hip hop, r&b]
NOTsync [girlfriends; friends; parents etc of nsync zine]
Step in Cow Turds -- Random Humor
NAJY -- Random alphabetical humor
Star Struck -- Lance Bass Fan Zine
spync -- Britney/NSYNC
Just Josh *N James -- JC/Lance Fan Zine
*NPics -- Daily *Nsync Pics/Graphics
Curly and Sleepy's Mansion -- NSYNC Zine
Places In Your Heart -- NSYNC Fan FIc
konstantine -- writing. music. random.
Goober Graphics -- Nsync/Britney graphics
*Nsync Drama -- *nsync tv dates, video clips, mp3s
Forever.... -- Buffy Zine
(''')[] `'.That's all folks... ` ' . _ ¦ []-. *sniff* but, but, but!!!
Cry me a river... Peace, Love, & Bass Issue 16 was brought to you by the letters VMA; the color red; and the Blackout of 2003. After a brief return, Jules has again been declared missing, only this time Bex hired a private investigator to hunt her down. Despite the conclusions Dia drew from Lance's blinking, he's now a popstar turned porn star. NASA does a body good. Katie was awarded a medal of honor for her *ncounter with the recently low-profile Chris Kirkpatrick. Playing the Sweet Valley High board game by flashlight is highly reccomended during a blackout. Thank you for reading The Small Print...now everybody dance.
You know the rules. You may take the humor if you want to keep it for yourself. If you want to use it elsewhere, we beg that you maintain the decency to at least ask us first (links are right above.) If not, we'll send Wade J Robson after your unoriginal ass.