Chris decides to be a pal and help him look...and since he's Irish, and it's his lucky day, he finds one. He leaves Justin to fend for himself and skips away singing, "I'm looking over, a four leaf clover, that I overlooked before...!"
So he skips along and notices this unbelievably green lawn. Trees, brush, plants...and in the hedges he sees what looks like a statue, partially hidden. Upon closer inspection he realizes it's a...yes, a little green man.
But not just any little green man...this little gnome looks like Wade, miniature size and dressed in a green suit. He pops out of his hiding place and does a mean Irish jig. We're talking Lord of the Dance here.
So Chris asks Wade if he has his pot of gold anywhere. Wade dances around and says, "Ya gotta catch me first...if you can!" And Chris is all "PSSH!" and tries to nab him.
But Wade gets away. "Many a man have tried, but all have failed! That guy didn't even last 10 minutes!" He points at Jayce who's curled up in a ball, fast asleep under a tree.
So Wade takes off running, and Chris chases him around the block a couple times. He's stopped dead in his tracks when he sees Joey with a bag of potatoes.
Chris says, "For someone who enjoys potatoes, you sure don't look happy."
Turns out Joey had managed to grab ahold of Wade for about five seconds. Rules is rules, so Wade gave him a pot of gold coins...or so he thought. After Wade did a complimentary jig for him, Joey looked down and found he was left with a sack of potatoes. He'd been tricked!
Chris just could not believe that JOEY of all people managed to catch Wade, so he asked how he did it. Joey said Wade was lured over by his box of Lucky Charms.
"Even leprechauns need to eat," says Joe.
So Chris wanders off, scratching his head and wondering how he's going to outsmart Wade. He's so deep in thought, he doesn't notice that it's pouring rain. When he finally looks up, he realizes he's standing in front of the ale house. He goes in, and who else does he run into? None other than the drunk himself, Lance.
Lance orders Chris some green, Irish beer...and Chris tells him about his encounter with Wade. By then, Lance is so blitzed out of his mind he starts rambling on about the the great pumpkin, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy. Especially the tooth fairy...in her little pink tutu spreading rainbow colored marshmallows wherever she roamed: Pink hearts, orange stars, yellow moons, green clovers, blue diamonds, purple horse shoes, and red balloons.
Chris decides that Lance has had enough and, being a good friend, is about to pick up the tab...but Lance smacks him upside the head, fishes in his pocket, and dumps a fistful of gold coins on the counter.
"Where did you get THAT?!" Chris yells.
"I followed the rainbow." Lance points outside to a mack truck with the Lucky Charms logo painted on it.
Suddenly a light bulb flickers on over Chris' head, and he bolts outside to conference with the truck driver about his idea. By then, the rain had started to let up and the sun was shining...creating a crunk diddily unk rainbow accross the sky.
Toting Lance along, Chris follows the rainbow...which leads back to Justin...who is STILL crawling around on his quest for a four leaf clover.
In a puff of pixie dust, Wade appears and taunts Justin with an eerie Irish accent. "Looking for one of these me young fella?" Justin dives for the leprechaun, but Wade scampers off singing the theme from the Smurfs. "La la, la la la la, la, la la la laaaaa!"
Chris and Justin jog after him (with Lance swaggering drunkedly not far behind), following him to the immaculate green lawn. Wade vanishes for a moment, then reappears under the tree where Jayce is still snoozing. "Yooooou can't catch me! Neener neener neeeeener!" chants Wade, as he performs another Lord of the Dance jig, his feet flailing around as if they were separate from his body.
Just as Chris expected, Justin shouts, "AW, HELL NAH! That dancin' be all sortsa whack, yo!" and busts out his own dope illy fresh moves. But Wade has a few more tricks up his sleeve. Not to be outdone, he decides to show the blad one some moves he picked up from Michael Jackson.
A dance-off insues, the two of them going back and forth...bodies spinning, arms flailing, legs kicking, and screaming like banshees.
But even leprechauns get tuckered out. Exhausted from all the dancing, Wade collapses on the lawn. "Just a second young fella. I need me some grub to get me energy back up." Justin attempts to nab him again, but Wade escapes.
Just then Stever pulls up to the curb in the Lucky Charms truck, laying down the horn. It's so loud, it even wakes up Sleeping Beauty Jayce. Wade yelps with joy and flees toward the cargo of cereal. But being short and Irish himself, Chris is two steps ahead of him and reaches the truck first. Steve tosses him his camera case, and at lightning speed Chris tackles Wade with it. "Gotcha, ya little booger!" he shouts in triumph.
"Good plan! Chris is smart!" yawns Jayce. And so Wade gives up the gold...foreal this time. And Justin is paid for his service with...the four leaf clover Chris found earlier. Now he can match Xtina's demands with diva demands of his own! Chris uses the money to buy Joey's potatoes and Steve's Lucky Charms, and invites the rest of the guys over for a KIRKpatrick's day dinner! Whoo!
Happy St. KIRKpatrick's Day!
