"Hey, Lover."

Oh shit. Of all the days she wanted to plan a surprise trip. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I turned and saw her, her honey blonde locks curled past her shoulders, an effulgent smile lighting her crimson-tinted pout. She was dressed in typical Ashleigh garb. A tight, pale green, knit sweater clung at her feminine curves while a micro-mini skirt fell a good number of inches above her knees, showcasing her long, slim legs. Sheer perfection.

"Hey, Ash!" I exclaimed as if I were excited to see her, jumping up from my spot on the bed. I ran over to her, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame, my lips pressing a kiss into hers. She let out a piercing giggle, her eyes lighting as we embraced.

Ashleigh. Just what I needed today. Could things possibly go any better?

"Justin, I–" Riley. Fuck.

"Oh, hi, Ashleigh," she said as she raised an eyebrow towards me. "It’s um, good to see you again."

"Justin, what’s SHE doing here?" Great. Blunt. Just like Ashleigh to put things so eloquently.

"I’m actually here to see JC," Riley said glaring towards me. Oh thank the Lord for Riley. I could have been SO dead. So dead. I love you, Riley. So much.

"Oh, are you two getting back together?" I saw Riley’s claws appear, that evil glint in her eyes warning me of what was to come.

"Nope, just came by for a quick fuck," Riley muttered, rolling her eyes as she ran a hand through her tousled locks. She wasn’t lying. Damn it, Riley.

"Oh good. Back to your slut ways I see," Ashleigh spat. Oh God. Here it comes…

"Well, I’m not the one they call Trashleigh…Oh wait. You didn’t know about that one. Sorry!" Riley shrugged as if it were no big deal, the catty tone in her voice making me cringe.

Ashleigh, looking just as impeccable as ever, glared. I just loved these little get-togethers.

"I’m gonna go now. Onto Joey…maybe literally. Or maybe Lance…The two together could be a fun time…Anyways, bye Justy," Riley whispered almost sensually. She pressed a kiss into my cheek, winking towards Ashleigh as she did so. Jesus, Riley.

"Have a nice day, Tra– I mean Ashleigh. I’m sure I’ll see you later."

"Are you mad at me?" I whispered as I watched him, slumped over at the edge of the bed, his head bowed. I turned, padding across the floor towards him, seating myself behind him. I straddled his back, dressed only in one of his T-shirts and my favorite pair of red lace panties, my hair pushed out of my face in a low ponytail.

"No," he answered rather coldly, still not turning.

I took that as a yes.

I wrapped by arms around his bare chest from behind, nuzzling his neck. "Yes you are. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you…"

He shrugged me off. "Ry, come on. Can it not be about sex right now? That’s all we’re about anymore. I hate it." He turned to me, tears in his beautiful blue eyes, his face frighteningly placid. I watched him, stupefied, not knowing what to say, my stomach slowly starting to churn as a pregnant silence fell between us. "Riley, I don’t know if I can do this anymore."

Uh oh. This couldn’t be good. Damn it JC, just like you to make things complicated. Couldn’t just have it be about sex. Had to bring emotions into it. Fuck. Just what I really needed.

I couldn’t lose him. I needed him. I needed the affection he brought, the way he made me feel. When I was with him, I could forget about everything. And I liked that.

I didn’t know what my feelings for him were. Did I really even have any? It was true, we were all about sex. Sex and nothing more. But I didn’t think I really had the capacity for anything else. My heart was too broken. And not because of him.

I felt broken. All the time. Scared. And it hurt to feel anything because all I felt was pain. It was just easier to not feel anything. To just shut everyone out. It was easier to be promiscuous. Just pick the pretty ones. Use them and then send them on their way. So much easier. Men did it all the time. You know, no strings attached (No pun intended).

I didn’t need a soul mate.

I had Justin.

In many ways Justin hindered me much more than he helped. I relied on him in a way that could be deemed destructive, getting used to the sense of comfort he brought to me. In a sense I was embracing the one thing that I told myself I couldn’t get used to.

"JC, " I whispered. "I don’t know what to say," I felt my hands start to shake, the tumbling of my stomach making me nauseous. I braced myself against the headboard, my hands pressed against the cold wood, steadying myself. I hated emotional confrontation. It made my throat tighten inducing that suffocating feeling, the one that I hated so much.

"I can’t just put my life on hold. I need some stability. I love you, Riley. I could be so good for you. We were so good together. I want to go back to that." I felt my heart stop for a split second as the world seemed the halt, my stare fixed on his godly features. He ran his hands through his tousled mane, shaking his head out as his hands finally rested at his sides again. I watched him carefully, reading him. He was incredibly distraught– an emotion I had brought on to plague him, a notion that I despised. I just wanted it to be the way things always were. I wanted this moment to stop.

I didn’t know what to do. What to say. I felt awkward. Like the time in the third grade spelling bee when my mind blanked and I couldn’t spell guard in front of the entire school. My right eye started to twitch –the way it always does when I’m nervous–my hands moistening with sweat as my mind raced, completely confused. I just wanted it to stop. So I uttered the words that I knew would solve the situation –put the both of us out of our immense agony– no matter how true or untrue they were.

I swallowed slowly, closing my eyes. "I love you too, JC."

I watched Riley and JC from the corner of my eye. Both stretched out on the bed, they were cuddling– a sickening sight. There was something too genetically perfect about the two. They looked like they belonged together. Kind of like me and Ashleigh I suppose. Yes, in many ways they were like me and Ashleigh.

I suppose Riley and JC could be classified as purely physical as well. As of now at least. They once had had a connection –I was pretty sure JC still felt it– but that had seemingly died. I watched them still, my eyes never once fully on the movie or Ashleigh. My skin crawled as she rested her head in the curve of his shoulder and neck, her arm draped across his chest. She kissed his neck playfully, causing him to chuckle, his arms tightening around her frame.

I turned my head completely now, wrapping my arms around Ashleigh again as she sighed contentedly. She looked up towards me, our lips meeting for a moment before she rested her head against my chest.

"Justin," I heard her whisper to me as she sighed. "I’ve really missed stuff like this. It’s good to be with you again. Really."

I smiled at her words. They felt good. "I know Ash," I answered kissing her temple, "I wish we could be together more." And I almost did. It was times like this that made me wonder if I could actually fall for her. If it could really actually work. The companionship that she provided was comforting, especially when Riley was busy with…other things. And she really did love me, blindly, loyally. And it felt good. Right.

I felt my glance travel towards Riley and JC again. She was almost asleep and looked completely content. Completely. And JC didn’t look so unhappy either. There was a pleased smile on his lips, a contented look in his eyes as well, like there was nothing he’d rather do than just lay there with her.

I’m sure.

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