Jess stared out of her window, her eyes scanning the skies. The thick clouds were painted a deep gray, lighter shades of the color filling out the round, puffy edges. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and lightning flashed through the unlit sky. Giant raindrops fell from the dark sky and trailed down the side of the apartment window, making intricate designs on the clear glass.
Jess smiled as she traced the smooth glass with her finger, watching the water fall from the Heavens thankful that she was inside, sheltered from the brewing storm.
Jess sat beneath a bundle of blankets and sipped hot chocolate, her eyes still set on the trembling skies. A knock came at the door and she leapt towards it, praying that it was JC.
She opened the wooden door and her heart sunk in disappointment as she saw Alex standing there, instead of JC. She was a mess, her blonde hair soaked through and through, clumps of it sticking to her flushed cheeks, her eyes dark and puffy. She was shaking from the cold; her jeans and T-shirt completely drenched.
"Alex!" Jess said as she pulled her into the warm apartment and dragged her into her room. "What the hell have you been doing all afternoon?" she asked as she threw Alex a sweatshirt and some pajama pants, "walking in the rain?"
Alex sunk down onto the bed, too tired and too cold to protest the acts of kindness that Jess was exhibiting or answer her question. She threw the clothes on and followed Jess out of the room and back into the living room. Jess had already poured her a cup of hot chocolate, marshmallows overflowing from the brim of the mug.
Alex inwardly groaned as she saw the mug, each second she spent with Jess made it even more difficult to tell Jess the events of that morning.
"Jess…" Alex said softly as they sat down onto the couch, and Jess turned off the TV.
"Yeah Lex?"
"You know you are like my best friend right?" she asked softly, "and I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you…"
Jess looked at Alex skeptically before nodding and taking a deep sip of her hot chocolate and setting the mug back down on the glass table. She scanned Alex’s eyes for some sort of indication as to what was coming next- her voice hinting at something serious.
"JC and I…" she said, tears starting to fall, "we…" she started again, "well we kissed, among other things."
Jess felt herself start to shake, tears escaping her eyes no matter how hard she tried to keep them in. "When?" she asked after a moment of heavy silence between them.
Alex sniffled before answering, her voice choked with tears. "This morning." Alex watched as arguably her best friend sat and cried; cried because of something she had done.
"God Jess, I didn’t want to hurt you... He told me that you guys broke up, and honestly I believe that he thought that you did. That look in his eyes…he was so hurt and then he started kissing me, and I just…I couldn’t stop…" she said, her chest now heaving with her every word.
"And then you left that message and he stopped…we both did and he started to cry, and I just couldn’t believe it…You gotta believe me…" she whispered. The sincerity in her eyes didn’t bear questioning, something in them forcing Jess to believe her.
Jess stood silent again, her mind reeling with the new information that Alex had just presented her with. "I forgive you, Alex," she whispered, taking Alex’s hand into hers. "I know you’re not like that…" she said before taking another sip of the hot chocolate- the only thing that was comforting her.
"I’m leaving…" Alex said softly, her eyes meeting Jess’ for the first time. "I’m going home to New York. I mean, the only reason why I was ever really staying here was for JC, and…" she sighed, "I don’t want to be around here…I don’t want to interfere with something like you guys."
"What?" Jess said softly, almost in disbelief.
"You guys…You’re meant to be. It’s like a sin to get in the middle of a relationship like yours. Just forgive him for this morning Jess, and go on with your lives…forget it ever happened because in the end, you’re going to realize you gave up on the one man who’s meant for you. Just forgive him," she murmured, gently brushing an ebony strand of hair from her eyes, "just forgive him and forget about it…Please. For his sake."
"Lex…it’s not that easy," she whispered.
"In the end, it will be. I promise."
Jess listened as a knock sounded on the door, and a key turned slowly. The door opened even slower- almost as if it were in slow motion- and JC appeared in the door way, water dripping from his dark hair.
"J, baby," he started, his voice was raspy, as if he had been crying, his eyes supporting that conclusion. "We’ve gotta talk."
Jess turned to him, her own eyes matching his, and shrugged. "I think Alex has done enough talking for the both of us." She turned away from him and walked over to the window, laying her hand flat onto the pane. The distant thunder rippled through the sky, the rumblings trembling through the window, her hand quivering with the force.
"I always thought that we wouldn’t make it…I mean I thought that you’d be the fling that got me over Justin…" she said softly and slowly, her eyes staring into the glass.
"But then I fell in love with you…And everything I felt for you surpassed anything I’ve ever felt for someone before…" she whispered, her hand running down the side of the smooth pane, the tear gliding down her cheek mirroring the raindrop which slid down the window.
"And I believed you when you said that I was the only one, and that we’d stay together forever…I didn’t want to…but I did." She finally turned to face him, his eyes so deep with pain, tears streaming down his cheeks, and smiled weakly.
"I knew we were too good to be true," she whispered again, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Jess…" he said softly, reaching out to her, and pulling her into him. She didn’t fight him, just allowed herself to be held, her body shaking with her tears. "Baby, it was an accident…God, I never meant to hurt you…"
She wanted so badly to tell him everything was all right; she was tired, so tired of fighting, so tired of being away from his embrace that all she wanted was for him to hold her. She sunk into his snug embrace and let him hold her, inhaling his warm comforting scent.
"JC…I can’t do this…" she whispered, more tears starting to descend from her eyes. "I can’t pretend that nothing happened…why’d you do it JC?" she asked, her tortured voice coming from deep within her throat. "God…I love you so much…" she whispered, her body heaving as she spoke. "And it hurts so bad…"
JC broke down and started to bawl, tears falling from his eyes like never before, trying his best to take her into his arms, to heal the pain he had caused, but she refused. She moved away from his awaiting embrace and off of the couch, leaving JC reaching desperately for her, now struggling for breath.
"I promise you that all I ever wanted was to be with you…" he said softly, picking himself up from the couch, tears still stinging his cheeks. "And God, just seeing you with him, brought back everything I thought was wrong with us, J. I’ve always felt like you loved him, that you still had feelings for him; like I was second best. I never thought I was good enough for you- and to see you kissing him, God Jess, it killed me," he whispered. "It was like I’d been living in a lie…"
"And I guess," he said softly, "I wanted the pain to go away. I just wanted to get away from it, and Alex was the best way…"
She shook her head sadly before sitting down on the arm of the couch. "JC, I’m sorry, we can’t."
"Please, leave…" she whispered meekly, almost to herself, her eyes squeezing shut. "Please."
"Baby…I can fix this…"
She shook her head. "It’s over…I’m sorry…Now please, leave."
JC nodded and opened his mouth once more before leaving. "I was, am, and always will be in love with you…" he whispered as he shut the door and disappeared down the hall. "I promise."
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