JC stared at Lance, sleeping soundly in his bed, in his home. He'd whisked him away as soon as the hospital released him. It had been only a week, but he was doing well, keeping Lance locked up tightly. Joey was banned and Justin was discouraged from coming over. He hadn't felt it necessary to explain it to Lance. Lance trusted him, implicitly, and that was good enough for him.

JC crept from the room, snapping the lights off behind him. He made his way down to his studio and locked himself inside. There was nothing to do but write, compose songs and wait for Lance to recover. Joey and Chris had taken care of postponing the tour, and Justin was sulking somewhere, and he had no intentions of calling any of them until it was time. He was taking care of Lance, alone, and that suited him just fine. The last thing he needed was interference from any of them. He knew damn well he made a mistake with Justin, a huge mistake. He hadn't meant to, and how the fuck was he supposed to know the guy had idolized him, put him up on some kind of pedestal? He had no idea.

Sitting down at the keyboard, he plunked idilly, hoping Lance would sleep through the night. Since coming to his house, Lance had only slept with the use of pain meds, and not very well. The only thing that seemed to help was if JC was right in the bed next to him, holding him. But JC had little patience for that. Not that his feelings weren't real, they were. Clinginess just didn't rate high. And he had to admit, with Joey gone, Lance seemed more clingy than ever.

JC ignored the phone ringing and placed headphones over his ears, working out the hook to the new song. He closed his eyes and tried to get lost in the music, unaware the phone had awakened Lance.

"Jace?" Lance stood in the doorway of the studio, bandages still covering his body, his arm still in it's cast, bruises still ugly on his light skin. He stared at JC from behind, his tee shirt taught against his lithe body. He entered the studio, rubbing his tired eyes. "JC?"

JC turned around, surprised to see Lance there. "Hey," he said softly, removing his headset. "You okay?"

Lance smiled a bit, his body shaky from unrest. "That was Joey on the phone. He wants to come by tommorrow. I told him that was fine okay?"

JC's face contorted, his blue eyes grew steely grey and his mouth set in a fine line. "I don't think so, Lance," he said sternly, tossing his headphones to the floor and standing up.

"Why?" Lance blinked, wondering why JC was keeping Joey away. Since being brought to his home, JC had kept visitors out, except for his family. And Chris, once. He missed Joey, and Justin, and was so in the dark with the tour being delayed, and confused, and he knew JC was just trying the only way he knew how to keep him safe...but still.

"Look, Lance, he's no good for our relaionship. He's poison. He interfers and gets you all upset and you need to rest." JC wrapped his arms around Lance's shoulders, kissing his forehead. "I don't want anything to get in the way of your recovery, okay?"

"I don't understand," Lance continued. Even though JC's arms were around him, he still felt cold and lonely, and like something was wrong. "I want to see him, JC. I do. I have to. I miss him." His green eyes were dull, flat and miserable, and JC assumed it was the drugs, or the pain.

"Okay," JC forced a smile. "l'll think about it. Right now, you need to be in bed. Come one." He lead Lance back to bed, laying next to him as was customary.

Lance snuggled back into JC, careful not to irritate his wounds, but needing to feel someone holding him. He wasn't actually sure if it was JC anymore. He knew something was not right, but had no energy to peel back the layers that JC hid behind. He wasn't that strong, not yet. If he could only see Joey, things would be more clear.

He'd been told most of his home had been consumed, and his family had gone to salvage what they could, some awards, his firesafe, a few mementos, some clothes. Lance had been saddened by the loss, and overjoyed when JC demanded he stay with him, but now, it was like a game. At first JC had been sweet, almost sickeningly so, doting on him, bringing him breakfast in bed, arranging times for his family to come and delivering his gobs of fan mail. But as the week wore on, it seemed that he'd become more of an annoyance to JC, a problem, and Lance wasn't feeling as healthy as he should. Not at all.

Lance grabbed JC's hand and pressed it to his lips, kissing over the knuckles, licking the crevices of his long. beautiful, piano playing fingers. He needed JC, wanted to feel him. He placed JC's thumb in his mouth and sucked, hesitantly, still wary of JC's moods. He didn't think he could take rejection. The last time they'd been intimate was on the isalnd, before any of this happened, this horrible accident, and the rift that Lance was still in the dark about.

JC mumbled something from behind him, but it was unreadable. Lance rolled over slowly and stared at the figure laying next to him, his face shadowed in the faint moonglow that trickled in through the curtains. He moved his face closer until his lips met JC's. His heart ached as he kissed JC, his body shook as if it was the first time. He was trying to be still, kiss him carefully. When JC didn't pull back, Lance leaned in closer, daring to let his tounge run over JC's lips, and he sighed into his mouth, relishing the feel. Moments ticked by, and Lance was lost, his pain gone, drowning into those billowy lips.

Then the words came, and the dreaded pull back. "Lance, come on."

"What?" Lance asked, trying to hid the hurt he felt. "You don't want to?"

JC forced a laugh, worried about this moment, the moment where Lance would naturally want to be close, make love, and all he could think about was Justin, and the way Justin felt next to him, Justin's mouth on his and oh shit...it was that bad. He brushed Lance's hair back and kissed his lips lightly. "Sure I do, but I don't want to hurt you. I mean you only have one good arm and your stomach is still hurt and..."

Lance felt that knot in his gut, the same on from before the accident. "I'm fine," he pouted, forcing himself to continue. He needed JC to know that it was okay because then, if he rejected him, he'd know it was more. "I want to do this." He covered JC's mouth with his and kissed him forcefully, letting him know he was serious, that he wasn't backing down, that he wanted to fuck right then and if they didn't, well, he would break down and cry and know they were done for.

JC let himself be kissed, impressed with the force with which Lance used. Lance's good hand slid down the front of JC's pants and grabbed him hard, with need and demand, making JC gasp. "Lance, this isn't right...now..we can't do this."

Lance pulled up emotions he buried for a week and a half or more, the taunting on the plane, the rustling of bedsheets he was sure he heard that night, traveling on seperate busses, all of it. He bit JC's lip hard, making him flinch. "What the fuck?" JC yelped, backing up. He tasted blood on his lip and wiped at it. "You bit me."

"I did?" Lance whispered lowly, pulling JC back to him. "Bad me." He grabbed JC's hair in his fist and shoved his face down toward his crotch. "You know what I want," he growled, tears burning in his eyes.

JC squirmed out of Lance's reach, sitting up at the bottom of the bed. "I have no idea what's gotten into you, but you're insane." He jumped up and paced, staring into the darkness, just barely making out Lance's figure in the bed. "Are you okay? Do you need your meds?"

"Fuck that, JC. I want you, and now." He was so close to tears. All rational was out the window. He wasn't an idiot. JC was pulling away for some reason. JC didn't turn down sex, he had no idea how to . "If you don't want to, you better have a better reason than you're afraid of hurting me because it ain't gonna fly this time."

"What are you babbling about?"

Lance bit his lip, forcing those weak tears down. Life was become crystal clear to him suddenly. "Never mind," he seethed, rolling over on the bed. He did need his meds, and he needed arms around him, but he wasn't going to beg. He wanted JC to give it willingly and if he couldn't, well, then fuck him. He wasn't going to beg, no he wasn't.

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