"I am in between stories. The old one is gone, and the new one is just beginning to take shape. When we already have a story we are heavily identified with, whether we appear to like this story or not, it is difficult to stay awake, to watch our thoughts and feelings without letting them dictate our actions. A clear story about who we are makes it hard to wait and let our actions arise from the deep and open emptiness of experiencing who we are right now, makes it difficult to allow actions to arise that may be inconsistent with how our story says we should move." -- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Well now, isn’t that just about the most interesting quote I’ve read for a while. Ha ha ha ha I’m in the middle of my story about who I am and what I am becoming. I am in the middle of creating and molding and fine-tuning me. I am in the middle of a transformation of what I used to be and what I hope to be. I am in the midst of change.
People see our faces and we look about the same, not much has really changed in the mirror. But inside may be tremendous change that nobody but us can see or feel. Nobody knows what is going on inside of us. Nobody can see it or feel it. Nobody can describe it. Nobody knows our hearts and our minds. We can tell them, but they don’t know.
It’s the same thing with ourselves. We can’t see it in the mirror either. We can’t see our progress or our accomplishments or our character building. We can only feel it in our hearts and in our minds. We can only feel the satisfaction or the disappointment. We can not visually see it.
A blind person sees with their hands and ears. When I was a little girl, one of my friends at church was a blind girl the same age as me. Sometimes I would sit beside of her in the church pew and hold her hand. She would always touch my face lightly with her fingers and sometimes trail them down my hair. She saw me with her fingers. She and I had a private joke and we would laugh every time she said it. It was this: “Hello, good to see you again!” ha ha ha ha ha
Well, so we are in the process of building a new person all the time, every day, with every challenge and with every success that comes our way and then becomes part of us. We have a very interesting looking person inside of the mask that hides the face that we are becoming. That face inside of us is very expressive. It is full of many laugh lines and trails of tears, looks of surprise, gasps of fear, and the calm smooth brow of inner peace. It is an ever-changing face.
And this face does not take on its look instantly. This face is like the great works of art that artists have created with their sculptures. They touch the stone and feel it and sense it and then begin to work with it. We do the same thing with ourselves. We are great sculptrs and we are using our fingers and sensing our way as we work with this incredible piece of marble that is sooooooo lovely.
Of course, some of us are not marble, some of us are diamonds in the rough, and some of us look like coal. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
