Unicorn Strikes Back

My son, I now tell you
A lesson you should learn
Why not to kill the mythical beast
Known as the unicorn
I was hunting in the fair wood
When a movement I espied
A flash of white, luminescent hair
Surrounded by camouflaged hide
Readying my crossbow
I began the heart-pounding hunt
Well prepared for imminent victory
Ignorant of the beast’s planned stunt
I promptly spotted hoof-prints
In the forest’s damp, brown mud
Followed the signs of creature’s passing:
Crushed grass, broken sticks, flattened bud
Another sight of soft, white hair
Triggered the release of my bolt
I came upon a prone white stag
Then heard a sound that made me jolt
A rustling of leaves to my right
Drew my eyes like dog’s teeth to fleas
With a cry, I threw myself to the ground
As shots ricocheted off the trees
I chanced a furtive glance around me
And my heart recoiled in fear
As I saw the unicorn, sub-machine gun in hoof
Decked out in combat gear
His hard, red eye stared down on me
A cigarette drooped from his teeth
Ammunition belts hung from his shoulders
And the horn I cowered beneath
He swung the gun ‘round to point at me
And spoke in a Dick Tracy voice
“You can die today or cease yer hunting,

Don’t look to me, ‘tis yer own choice.”
I stammered an apology
And promised to never return
Desperate, I offered to leave the stag
To assure a lesson learned
The unicorn nodded gravely
Clearly satisfied
And told me to be on my way
Before he had my hide
He said, “I’ve got better things to do,
So hurry up, git moving, go
No time to watch an old man grovel
When I’ve got fur farms to blow!”
So son, don’t stalk the unicorn
Don’t take the lives of his kin
Or a new trophy he will posses –
A stuffing of your skin!

-----by Lia

Back to Lia's Poetry Page

Back to Dave’s Home Page