The Princess and the Warlord


[A short one-act semi-comedic-tragedy play

written for the amusement of my Rae]


*on a rocky plateau near the ocean,
somewhere on the coast of Japan,
a yakuza warlord holds Rae captive
at the hands of two of his henchmen,
Moto and Tenchi*


Warlord: "In all Japan, I have never seen a fairer maid;
Thy flaxen hair, greatly prized, shall be mine;
For 'twill be death for you, by grim blade,
Lest you yield yourself to be my concubine!"


Rae: "Fist and faith, you'll never see,
I, your trifling plaything be;
Sweet death I'd rather see take me,
Than ever so yield myself to thee."


Warlord: *pulls out a long sharp tanto*

*sings a seemingly endless soliloquy
about love, death, and honor*

*however, since he chooses to sing it
in the pre-Japanese Ainu dielect,
no one has a freakin' clue what he's saying,
and the eyes of even his own henchmen all but glass over*

*yet by inflection and tone,
it’s clear that in everything he says
he is all about himself*

*finishes singing*

*almost as an afterthought, stabs Rae*


Rae: *with a great burst of energy
she breaks forth from her captors' grip,
and prances about the cliff in her death throes,
at first, with arms thrown back as she runs,
but then, stopping,
and clasping her hands to her chest she cries out*

"O woe is me! See Rae in her prime undone,
To meet her death on cold cliffs,
Far from the eyes of friends, not one,
Bereft of even parting kiss;
God's servant heads for heavenly home;
To heaven's gate, she'll soon be come!"


*swoons, though as unto death*


[enter the three witches from Macbeth, with cauldron]


Witches: "Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!

Witch # 1: "Woe to you! A high-born lady hast thou killed,
Will God's vengeance on you yet be stilled?"

Witch # 2: "Nay! For a Christian lady, a lover of the Bard,
Is what you've killed in this courtyard."

Witch # 3: "Now woe to thee, woe to thee!
Cursed by Bard and God shall you ever be!"


[Exeunt witches, with cauldron]


Warlord: "Woe to us! Woe to us!"


Henchmen: *hugging each other*
"Woe to us! Woe to us!"


[Enter the Faerie Queen, Titania, with many faeries,
and at the head of a host of angels]


Titania: [to Warlord and henchmen]
"Peace; fear not; she is not yet dead;
From fearsome wrath and great dread
Yet saved may you be
For 'tis not granted under heaven’s stead
Rae should suffer death from such as thee.

"As an Elvin princess she has lived,
Hence sharing Enoch’s and Elijah’s fates
Shall she enter deep heaven's gates,
With a host of angels to bear her past Avalon,
Beyond the Sunbrith Sea, to where God awaits."


*the faeries load Rae onto a cushioned pallet borne by angels*


*Titania touches the wound in Rae's side*


*healing power flows*


*Rae sits up*


Rae: "By love's power, as I live,
All evil done me do I forgive."


Tenchi: "I am transported by her redeeming love,
And in this shall I prove
To practice deceit no more;
Behold not Tenchi, but Elsinore!"

*pulls off her short-haired wig
to reveal the long tresses of a woman*


Moto: "My brotherly love for you's transformed,
Almost as if I'd been reborn;
If now you'll be my wife, I pray,
We'll build a church in honor of Rae."


Warlord: "Rae's forgiveness shames me,
Yet shall be my teacher;
I shall wander the earth
As an itinerant preacher.

[to Rae]

"Good night sweet princess!
Let flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.”


Rae: "Since here of healing there is no dearth,
Hence now in peace I depart this earth."


[Exeunt Rae borne by singing angels to heaven's gate]


Titania: "Forget you never this boon;
For were't not for Elvin princess' grace,
'Twould have been your doom."


Warlord, Moto, and Elsinore: "Mark it;
While the Arch of Time stands,
Though travel we through distant lands,
Each time we see the moonbeams' ray,
We'll cherish the memory of Princess Rae."


[Exeunt Moto & Elsinore, holding hands]


[Exeunt Warlord, head bowed in penitence]


Titania: "Blest be all who read this play;
And blest be the memory of our Rae."


[Exeunt Titania & faeries]


FINIS


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