Steps To Asking a Good Question

Step1: Identify What You Want 

Often, we find ourselves half way through a question when we realize what we are asking for is not what we really needed. We often speak before we think! Before asking a question, stop and spend a few moments deciding exactly what it is that you really want. 

Step 2: Practice How You Will Ask The Question 

The more you practice, the more comfortable you will be. Start by practicing alone. Ask the question out loud, and see how it sounds. Practice in front of a mirror, and see how you look when you ask. You will feel silly at first, but it’s OK! Next, find a friend who is willing to let you practice with them. Ask for feedback 

Step 3: Ask Your Question 

Be sure to be specific, not vague. Be sure to be clear, and get to the point. Be prepared to explain why. If you can’t, people may feel you don’t really need it. 

Step 4: Have A Backup Plan: 

What will you do if you don’t get the answer you wanted or needed? You need to have an alternative plan for what to do and say if this happens. 

Exercise: (Journaling) 

1. Describe a situation in which you did not communicate as assertively as you would have liked. 

2. Describe what you were thinking, and what you did. Were you aggressive or non-assertive? 

3. What could you have told yourself ahead of time that would have allowed you to be more assertive? 

4. What could you have said that would have been more assertive? 

5. What would have been the best body language to use to get your message across? 

6. What will you do the next time that you are in a similar situation, to help yourself be more assertive?