This is a list of basic guidelines to help new BDSM participants find Ttheir way around the chatrooms without embarrassment. These rules are intended to help Oone understand the D/s lifestyle and all of its formalities. Oone will learn what is acceptable, and what is not when approaching a Dom/me or sub. This will also help Oone survive in a new room where the regular chatters have no tolerance for disrespect. This is not intended as training as that should be learned from a Master, Mistress or Mentor but rather as a guideline for Tthose new to this style chatroom.

!WARNING! The Moderators in some rooms will enforce strict adherence to these guidelines but not all rooms will have Moderators. In rooms without Moderators, there are usually a number of Rregulars that will answer any questions Oone might have about that room. In ALL cases, no Oone is expected to tolerate disrespectful behavior, be Tthey Dom/mes or subs. In most EVERY case, uninvited private chat is NOT to be initiated without first asking permission to do so, whether the Oone with whom Yyou wish to chat is Dom/me or sub.

1. RESPECT First & foremost remember that the Ppeople in these rooms are very serious about Ttheir lifestyle. BDSM is consensual. NEVER force Yyourself upon Aanother. Remember at all times there is a living, breathing Pperson on the other side of the screen. Treat Tthem with respect, and Yyou will be honored with the same in return. Again, no private chat should be initiated without prior consent. And ALWAYS check profiles if they are provided. They are there for a purpose and Yyou should always read them before chatting with the Oone with whom Yyou wish to speak. Personally, I feel that Aall should make some effort at a profile whenever possible.

2. Dom/me or sub? Are Yyou a Dominant or a submissive (sometimes referred to as Top or bottom)? look deep into Yyour soul for the answer. When Yyou know the answer Yyou will need a name. Choose one that reflects Yyour personality. Choose something original, as Yyour name is the first thing Ppeople will notice.

3. Upper or lowercase? Capitalization is almost always exclusive to Dom/mes. If You are a Dom/me, the first letter of Your name should be capped. You may like all caps better. Either is acceptable. Dom/mes never use all lowercase letters in Their names.

   Almost all submissives use lowercase lettering. A sub should never capitalize themselves when saying i, me my..etc. and always cap the Dom/me when saying You, Your, She, Him etc. This shows deference to the Dom/mes even in text. One exception that I have found, is that in some rooms, Tthose new to the lifestyle that haven't truly decided on Ttheir leanings toward D or s will sometimes capitalize only the first letter of Ttheir name, but NEVER assume that this means that Tthey Dom/mes or sub. When in doubt, ask. Mmost will respond in a friendly manner to any question of this type, if asked in sincerity. Paying attention to the deference to Oone another when in a new chat area will usually reveal the use of caps in a particular room, as well as help Yyou get to know the Ppeople there. And after all, that is what Yyou're there to do. As a new sub, you should use lowercase just to avoid confusion.

4. GreetingsWhen addressing Eeveryone in a room, or making general statements, include the capital and lowercase to indicate Yyou are addressing Dom/mes & subs. This way no Oone is omitted from the query or comment. Wwe Aall make typos but in cases of using lowercase in place of caps in speaking with Ssomeone, it's best to correct Yyourself. ALWAYS address a Domme as Ma'am, or m'Lady. Doms should be addressed as Sir, or m'Lord. Some Dom/mes consider the use of the names Mistress or Master exclusive to Their own subs. Using them is not recommend unless asked to do so, or until you, the sub, feel comfortable in doing so or have seen it used regularly in the room in question.

5. ChattingThe best way to find a Dom/me or sub with whom Yyou may develope a closer relationship, is to observe a chatroom. Just sit back and watch quietly. Usually tidings of some type are made when Aanyone enters or leaves the room. Think before Yyou comment of the goings on in a room. Yyou will see certain Ppeople start to emerge from the crowd. If You are a Dom/me remember that the sub has the right to terminate the conversation at their discretion. These are real people, with very fragile emotions, and what You do or say could damage them--so take extra care in Your dealings with them.

   If you are a sub, it is never wise to offer yourself up to the room. This is not showing respect for the Dom/mes or for yourself. Be patient, build the trust. Treat this as you would in r/t. you are entrusting this Person with your life. Learn about the Ppeople you are meeting. Choose carefully.

6. {Collars} A collared sub is someone who has chosen to give themself to ONE Person exclusively. The collar may or may not be worn in their name. Examples of collars are as follows: ADAM'S eve, or eve{A}. These collars are treated as seriously as wedding vows. If one is collared, DO NOT attempt to approach them. See them only as friends, and search elsewhere. The Oothers in the room are very protective, and will not hesitate to berate Yyou publicly for harassing them.