come visit my new site..don't forget to bookmark it!!
i'm finally over steve! mark the day on your calendar because it's finally happened. i've actually been thinking about this for a couple of days now and i was asked yesterday by lexie if i was still interested in him. NO! there's probably a lot of possibilities/reasons behind my change of heart when it comes to him...do i care? lets just hope that i feel the same when i see him next..i can do it!!!
all i can say is....trust is the most important thing to me and when i lose my trust in you i look at you in a whole new light. i usually don't let the person know they lost my trust either i tend to "distant" myself from them. live and learn!!!!
guys suck! but girls with GRAY hair suck even more
today i had to work 9-5:30, thank heavens i didn't have to close because i doubt my nerves would be able to handle it. the first part of the morning wasn't the greatest, i had my old manager go all wacko on me telling me i need to be open minded. it's funny hearing that come from a narrow minded person like herself...i'm so far from being close minded that when she says comments like that i just either smile or say "yeah ok, you're right". believe what you want, you do anyways! i swear i don't even know why i even try with her...i know this is mean of me to say but i don't need her in my life. it's so tiresome to watch everything you say, at the end of it all she believes what she wants too...no matter what you say. go away!!!
after that fiasco another manager called to give me attitude about something i had no control over. i didn't work yesterday so i couldn't stop my manager from giving the 10/$5 sale we do every month to the ladies next door. there was this understanding that karen would be the first one to get what she wanted because she usually spends over $300 everytime...the other manager said if we keep this up we're going to lose business. not only our store but our sister store down the hall as well. she said there would be no reason for her to come to our mall since she goes to 2 other claires. ok, hate to break it to you but if other ladies in the mall are willingly to fork over money for the items how are we losing business? it doesn't matter where the money comes from it all equals out to the same in the end. so take that attitude somewhere else missy!!! grrr, i'm so fired up right now all i want to do is vent! the only downside to karen not coming to the mall is that it'll effect my girl lexie since she works at the other store so one way or another i need to talk to my manager and come up with some kind of compromise. good plan!
i thought my day was going to be like this for my entire shift (i was also worried that steve was going to pop up for round two) but gladly i was proven wrong. one of the ladies from next store, marilyn, came over and she told me about how she adopts kids/families (who are unfortunate) during christmas or at the beginning of the school year and buys them things here and there. everything she was telling me made me stand back and realize that what i've been going through the past couple of days is nothing compared to others out there. yeah i'm hurt and upset but i know i won't feel like this forever...before i know it i'll be like steve who? (let's hope!) i love marilyn, she's my mall mom...i felt better when she left. thank you!
ashley came into work an extra hour early today for me because we always have so much fun working together, she's upset that we don't work with each other until next week 
. i love her...she's the coolest! for my break today i hung out with laura, SHE asked ME. yeah you can say i was shocked to say the least. it went ok, she told me that steve and i need to talk things over because there's a lot of misunderstanding on both of our parts. she also told me that and i quote, "we've done things together but i don't feel anything on my part". she said that the person who's showing the most interest is him and that she doesn't know how to tell him that she's not interested. once again i told her not to make any decision yet because it seems like she's getting blindsided by all this drama. what hurt the most was when she said that if she could go back to the day when she met him...she wouldn't have talked to him. why say something like that? he is such a nice, smart, funny, good looking guy...he deserves someone that sees that. not someone who doesn't appreciate his good nature ways. but what do i know, maybe she's telling me that like i'm telling her that i'm not interested. maybe she thinks if everyone believes she's not interested that the drama will go away. i just hope at the end of all of this that he doesn't get hurt because what he's told me about his past..he's been hurt way too many times. she even made fun of his clothes! i'm sorry, he looks good with whatever he wears. APPRECIATION! is that too much for someone to ask for? i think not.
i talked to demmeri when i got home tonight and she informed me they both have been working out with each other and going to movies (i guess he found a movie buddy). oh also that steve, laura, crystal and her date went to a club this weekend. i'm so worried that i was talked bad about from crystal. i pray that he knows me well enough to form his own decision. if he doesn't, it's his lost..i make a great friend (so i've been told)!
ok, well lexie is on and i'm trying to convince her to get her site out there...go make some money!
[UPDATE] steve just called me! at first i didn't know who it was because he said, "this is steven". i kept saying who? i don't know a steven. then he's like "steve, the security guard". let's all repeat after me..IDIOT!!! he's was asking me how i was doing and while he was in mid sentence i interrupted him. yes i said it, i interrupted him..i said, "ok, i'm sorry but i wanna get this out of the way...are you upset with me?" he just chuckled and said he wasn't mad or upset..he's not even upset with the situation anymore and that's why he was calling me. he didn't want me to worry about him being upset. so we were talking and i told him i felt like an idiot. i said, "didn't you know this was idiot andrea week". he was polite enough to not laugh too hard and told me not to feel like one. i responded with "easier said than done". steve: you have no reason to feel like an idiot. me: yes i do, steve, fine i'll say it, i liked you but once i found out about you and laura i backed off. steve: laura and i haven't even held hands, hugged (we have), kissed or anything like that. i don't know what her intentions are and i don't know what mine are. me: yeah well i am sorry about everything and i wouldn't blame you for being upset. steve: well i'm not so don't worry. so we continuend talking some more when he told he had to call me back because he had to go to the security camera room. i didn't think he would call right away but within 2 minutes my phone was ringing. we picked up where we left off and we laughing and joking about everything. (poor thing is sick so he was waiting for someone to come up there to relieve him.) somewhere in the middle of all this he mentioned he came by my store to come talk to me but i was already gone and that he was going to call me earlier but he ended up sleeping 12 hours because he's not feeling well. he asked if i closed or open so i told him i opened. i don't know why but he asked me again..you didn't close? NO! lol. then he asked me if i was working tomorrow and i told him no that i'm thinking of getting my hair chopped off. he gave a nice and FAST response to that..."NO, don't cut your hair. why would you want to do that? i don't think you should." i just told him that i'm looking for some change that if i don't chop it off i might get layers..either way my hairs eventually going to be curly again. steve: but your hair's straight. me: no, it's naturally curly, i blow-dry it straight almost everyday...sometimes being a girl isn't so fun. he was just laughing at me. so what it comes down to he likes my hair the way it is...he didn't say in those words, he didn't have too...his reaction alone was good enough for me! so that's pretty much it, he's thinking in a couple of weeks he's going to be coming back to day shifts but he's not real too sure about it. i told him i'd keep my fingers crossed for him. we let each other go because he had to watch the cameras and he was getting ready to leave. i told him that i was really happy that he called and that i'm glad things can go back to normal. he said ditto. so yea, i'm in a better mood...i feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. :::whew:::
where's lexie?
i've resurfaced to the webdesign world once again. i can't believe it's been almost a year since i had a site or even played around with a layout so forgive me if i'm a little rusty. good thing i'm remember a few things here and there. i'm going to play around with this site on angelfire for awhile, hopefully it'll help me on my decision on if i should buy my old domain back. or a new one for that matter. hmm...what do you think?
"i hate mondays" i hear that from a lot of people but i never understood why? i always thought monday's were like any other day until now, i totally agree with that saying! for the past 2 monday's i've been having my little run ins with a certain security guard. this last monday (yesterday's) was the worse of the two. you know the mind plays many tricks on you, you think you're ready, that you can face the impossible..."bring it on" i say. yeah, that's the tough side of me trying to come out but it never fully reveals itself. sometimes i wish it did, that way i wouldn't feel so hurt everytime i see him. this time around was different, he wasn't alone...laura was with him. they were on a mission, a mission that i knew i was their target. so here's what happened. i went to close the doors to the store when i saw them walking my way. we exchanged our hellos and what's going's on thing. then came the awkward silence. steve was the first one to break the silence by asking me what happened to my sister on thursday night. so i got enough courage to look him in the face (which is the polite thing to do when you talk to people, right?) and straight into his pretty blues and answered him like there was nothing behind this visit. after that laura started asking me if i heard anything that was said about her. the whole entire time steve is looking at me and i'm just stumped for words. what words did fall out of my mouth wasn't exactly what she was looking for because when we parted from steve she told me what happened. supposedly our DM had said some nasty comments about her reguarding steve and she wanted to know if i heard anything about it and if i've been saying things about her. so i had to reassure her that it was the first time i was hearing those comments and that i haven't been bad mouthing her because i have no reasons too. other things were said and by the end of it all i told her i would keep my ears open. when we reunited with steve he was his normal self towards me. as soon as i shut the doors i thought i was going to pass out. i couldn't get to the phone fast enough to call my girl lexie, i needed my friend and i knew she would be there for me. even though it wasn't right away because we both had to close our stores hearing her voice calmed me down a little. i don't know what i would do without her. she's the best! and she knows it too...don't ya? lol.
when i got off the phone with her, the phone rang and it was my DM...icing on the cake if you ask me! he knew right away something was wrong with me so i pretty much told him that i didn't appreciate him going to kelly about all of this and that his comment was uncalled for. that this whole confrontation didn't even need to happen because i was letting everyone around me (except for my close friends that i trust and that know me well enough to know i'm lying) know that i was cool with the laura and steve thing. that i look like a pathetic little school girl who has a crush on a boy. what it comes down too...i look like an idiot to everyone and most importantly to steve! my DM said he would talk to her so we'll see what comes of it. i feel like the worse isn't over though. early today i talked to laura for 30 minutes, i told her that i talked to the DM and she said she was glad that i did because she didn't know how she would have done it. i asked her if steve was mad at me and she told me that that's something that i need to ask him. i just told her that i didn't want him upset with me because i didn't want anything of this to happen. what she had to say to that was that he just didn't understand why i had to say anything at all...so what it comes down too is that he is upset with me. i need to talk to him so that i can straighten things out...i don't like the idea of him being upset with me. DIES!
i just got off the phone with demmeri so this entry took longer than expected. i've been trying to get ahold of lexie but she's not answering her cell. hope she's ok! all right, it's almost midnight and i'm getting sleepy...bye!
