Cookie Monster - possibly one of the greatest one-joke muppet wonders on the planet has turned health conscious.
That's right. A cookie monster that doesn't eat cookies anymore. Well, at least not like he used to. Now he eats "apples and bananas, and sometimes a cookie for an occasional snack".
Jim Hendson must be rolling over in his grave right now. I don't know who to blame for crazy shit like this - uptight bible-clenching, stick-in-the-ass conservatives, or faggy liberals. Who's fault is it?
That was Cookie Monster's bit. That was his claim to fame. All skits with cookie monster involve his heroin-like addict to cookies. What the fuck he is going to do now for a joke? Exercise? Make a low fat carb conscious carrot cake? Blow me. All in an effort to curb childhood obesity in America.
Why not go the extra mile and give him an eating disorder. The bulimic cookie monster - eats as many goddamn cookies as he wants and throws them all up when he's done. Jesus Christ, what have they done to you!? Maybe if you goddamn-retard parents got off your fat asses yourself and actually did some PARENTING, and LIMITING the amount of shitty sugared junk food they eat, they won't get fat. Duhhh, how bout we just sit on our fat ass all day and make cookie monster eat healthy food - great idea. He's a better one, how about you assholes actually get outside with your kid and play with him instead plopping the little brat in front of the television! Why don't you get of your fat ass and do your job as a parent. Who's the kid going to listen to better; a 30 second segment about a health food junkie monster, or their lazy sloppy fat ass parent who they see 24 hours a day?!
I command everyone to write angry threatening letters to PBS right now.
Go on.
It just doesn't stop, does it? General Mills makes all their cereals with WHOLE WHEAT now - Cookie Crisps just don't taste the same. And Kellogg's insists on cutting sugar intake on their cereal by 1/3. You can taste the difference. It's sick.