The Leftie Half-Wits Sink to a New Low
From the San Antonio Express-News:

Roddy Stinson: 'Avoid wearing of uniform' general warns local soldiers

Web Posted : 04/13/2003 12:00 AM

"If possible, avoid wearing of the uniform when dining in public places."
— From a "Protective Measures Awareness" notice sent to San Antonio's U.S. Army personnel by Maj. Gen. Darrel R. Porr on Friday

April 11, 2003, will be remembered as one of the saddest dates in Alamo City history.

Because of recent instances of harassment of uniformed personnel, Porr, the commanding general at Fort Sam Houston, felt compelled to warn the men and women who serve under him to use caution when traveling, shopping and dining in San Antonio.

"Two separate incidents against military personnel have occurred," Porr reported. "In the first incident, two males on the city's Northeast Side made threatening gestures and pounded on the car window of a drill sergeant and his spouse while they were on their way home.

"The second incident involved two sailors, in uniform, who were accosted by several males who said, 'You'd better not go to war,' as they departed a River Walk restaurant."

***TWO SAILORS ACCOSTED BY SEVERAL MALES? SOUNDS MORE LIKE FIRE ISLAND THAN SAN ANTONIO - Me***

Porr provided this possible explanation for the hostile actions:

"There has been a significant increase of demonstrations throughout the United States in opposition to the ongoing U.S.-led military operations in Iraq.

"As individuals voice their opinions against military operations, they tend to direct their frustrations toward governmental and military symbols."

On receiving a copy of the notice from an anonymous e-mailer, I called Fort Sam to ask for more details about the incidents, in general, and the harassers, in particular.

A post spokesman indicated that more information was available, but declined "to go there."

He then made a point of emphasizing:

"Soldiers here in San Antonio have always proudly worn their uniform because of the support for the military.

"Previously, there has never been any perceived threat. This is quite unusual.

"Even during Vietnam, San Antonio was one community that supported the military forces.

"That's one reason the general put that notice out ... because (such harassment) is so unusual in this community."

The notice included cautions other than the warning not to wear uniforms when dining in San Antonio restaurants.

Porr also recommended:

"Be cognizant of people who gather and voice their sentiments against the military efforts in Iraq. Do not get involved."

"When in public facilities, soldiers should avoid conversations related to work or military operations in general."

"Always practice the 'Buddy System' when traveling."

"When in uniform, minimize the number of stops when traveling from home to work or vice versa. Wear civilian clothing when possible."

There you have it: San Antonio, Texas, anno Domini 2003, in all its un-glory.

What's worse ...

Community leaders continue to show pitifully little support for U.S. soldiers.

Example in point:

City officials have been mute as mice since troops entered Iraq. (The San Antonio City Council, which regularly passes resolutions honoring everything from the Dallas Cowboys to Hike and Bike Week, has deigned only to observe "a moment of silence" for the troops and their families.)

Add to that palpable hush the rants of the town's Saddam Hussein apologists, and "Military City USA" can easily degenerate into a South Texas backwater, where men and women in uniform can't safely wear their uniforms in public.

"Sad" hardly describes such a miserable state of affairs.

Fortunately, all of the news surrounding the recent threats isn't dreary.

One unofficial source I talked to said he had seen the police report of the incident on the River Walk, and he provided this description of the confrontation:

"Some Marines who were nearby saw what was happening and went to the sailors' aid.

"The matter was then taken care of by combined military action."

***HOPEFULLY, THAT MEANS "ASS KICKING" - Me***

***This is all some pretty sorry sh*t. The Leftie Half-Wits are awfully P.O'ed that we won this thing and they're taking their frustrations out on our servicemen and women. Nice buncha folks.***

The Human-Shield Diaries

Dear readers; my nephew, Morton Gilmore, is one of the volunteer human shields who left London for Iraq on a double-decker bus a month ago. He is keeping a scrupulous diary of his trip and his observations. I received the first bundle of papers in the mail two days ago and have excerpted them here. TW.

Jan. 25th. 8:00 am. We’re off! The TJP (truth, justice, peace) Convoy has just pulled out of downtown London bound for Iraq. Spirits are very high after our leader, Ken O’Keefe, gave a brief pep talk on how we’re the vanguard of the world anti-war movement and led us in singing a verse and two choruses of “Give Peace a Chance”. I have never been involved in anything before in my life that seemed so right! History will hold our struggle against George W. Bush and his quest for oil and empire in the highest regard possible. On to Lille and Paris!

11:30 am. The first test of our resolve has come. Apparently there is no way to drive from England to France. Ken was sure there was a bridge somewhere, but we’ve spent 45 minutes driving up and down the shoreline of the English Channel and have seen nothing. We’re keeping our spirits up by singing “Give Peace a Chance” and checking the local phonebook for a ferry service.

Jan. 27th. 10:00 am. Trouble in Paris. Ken O’Keefe is a man of fierce determination when it comes to peace in the world. To this end, he has renounced his American citizenship, torn up and burned all his identification papers and proudly declares himself to be a citizen of the world. He even carries a small, laminated card with words to that effect. The gendarmes who stopped the convoy just outside of Paris, however, are not used to such enlightened thinking and after laughing and scoffing at his card, forced Ken to swallow his left shoe – with his foot still in it! We in the busses were horrified by this barbaric action and displayed our outrage by singing, “Give Peace a Chance” in a higher register than ever before. I must admit I’m wishing I hadn’t torn up my own identification papers now, but since I haven’t burned them, I’m going to scour the bus for some Scotch Tape.

10:15 am. I think that girl in the third row likes me; she’s always looking back at me.

Jan. 28th. 4:30 pm. Amsterdam is a lovely place in the wintertime. We picked up two volunteers named Bjork and Bzurk. Ken – who has recovered nicely from his horrific treatment at the hands of the French police – is happy to have them as we lost one volunteer, a Welsh accordion player named Pratt, when he was arrested in Brussels for pointing at a horse.

As Ken was explaining to the two of them how our cause was just and right, how our actions were going to lay bare the hypocrisy and racism of the Bush administrations war policy – which Ken always likens to “being a racist hypocrite” – Bjork asked if this wasn’t the bus that went to Madame Tussaud’s Scenerama. When told that it wasn’t, they asked to be dropped off at the next corner.

Jan 29th. 5:00 pm. Frankfort. What a hassle! The border guards in Germany are just as unenlightened as in France. They laughed at Ken’s “Citizen of the World” card and then decided – with the aid of a nearby puddle – to see how long Ken could sing Act I of Die Fledermaus without coming up for air. I had been able to tape my passport back up again – using an old Mother Jones magazine to fill in missing pieces – although my name came out “Morton Compost” and my photograph consisted of the bottom half of my face and the top half of Nelson Mandela’s. Because of my ingenuity, I was able to escape Ken’s fate, and the guards let me off with a warning and a broken nose.

Jan 31st. 9:00 pm. Slovenia. We’re making up for lost time now thanks to Kens brilliant plan of hiding himself in the dirty laundry duffel bag when we pass through a border. My appreciation for the lyrical beauty of “Give Peace a Chance” is beginning to wane after singing it for the umpteenth, millionth, ka-zillionth time. We lost another volunteer, a Canadian poet and wrecker-driver named Dumphy, when he threw himself in front of an oncoming toboggan rather than sing it again.

I finally got up the nerve to talk to that girl who’d been looking at me the whole trip. She told me she’d been staring at me because my hair reminded her of alfalfa. Being a vegan, I figured she meant that my hair looked like a field of waving wheat and I returned to my seat, pleased, and told the old man sitting across from me what she had said. He laughed and told me that what she meant was my hair reminded her of “Alfalfa” from the old “Our Gang” comedies, to which he concurred and then laughed some more.

-Date and time unknown: I’m not sure if we’re still in Slovenia or in Thessalonika, like it makes a ----ing bit of difference. These old, Soviet bloc countries all look alike. We lost one of the busses when it went over the side of a mountain. Funny thing was, it broke from the rest of the convoy, took several side roads at high speeds to get up to the top of the mountain, then went over. Bathing has been nonexistent since Munich and the smell of old reefers, incense and patchouli oil is driving me nuts! Ken seems to be a bit on edge too, as he divides his time between composing his manifesto and doing the Charleston. Some woman tried to strike up a chorus of “Give Peace a Chance”, but was prevented by several people shushing her and another woman whipping her with a belt.

-Date and time unknown: Text unintelligible.

-Date and time unknown: Baghdad! Finally! We arrived at noon and were warmly greeted at the palace by Saddam’s personal pastry chef. He explained that Hussein himself would’ve greeted us, but was being fitted for a Panama hat and some moccasins, but he assured us - as he shackled us together – that Saddam was very happy to welcome us to his country.

-Date and time unknown: I finally feel part of a vast, peace movement now, and I have a very important job. Currently, I am chained to a light pole outside a large building with a crudely painted sign that reads, “Old People Hospital”. The fact that I have seen more anti-aircraft weaponry than old people inside the building gave me pause, but as my personal guide told me, with his rifle-butt on my windpipe, it’s really none of my business.

The Weekend TV Quagmire
I work hard all week (dammit) and when the weekend comes, I look forward to being entertained by my good friend; TV set.

So here’s my question; why does weekend TV bite the big one? Hard? I have 900 channels where I live – 800 of which are music channels – and there is nothing on that I want to watch. Nothing.

And I’m very easy to entertain, really I am. Hell, I used to watch “Flipper”. I even remember the theme song:

They call him Flipper, Flipper,
faster than lightning.
No one you see,
is smarter than he…

Get the idea? I’m not a tough customer.

But it seems that television stations also take the weekend off. They throw in an old videotape of their kid’s birthday party and head out the door with their golf clubs. Hello? Is anybody there? I’d like to be entertained, please.

And what is their response?

Here, here’s an infomercial starring Christy Brinkley and Walker; Texas Ranger, spreading their legs on a machine you can buy. And after that, we have another infomercial starring some fat guy in a chef’s uniform cutting cans and bricks with kitchen knives you can buy. And after that, we have Davy Jones hawking a CD collection of the best one-hit-wonders of the sixties you can buy. How’s that for entertainment?

Frankly, it bites. Infomercials are the cockroaches of television; once you see one, you know there are hundreds more around on other channels. Saturday and Sunday are infomercial heaven for TV stations. Now mind you, Sunday has never been a great day for television, at least until prime time, but infomercials make Lamp Unto My Feet look like The Soprano’s by comparison.

So I haul out the TV magazine from my local paper and flip through in the hopes of finding something I want to watch, all in vain.

SATURDAY 5:00 pm

2 WB “Yo-yo Homie” – Comedy.
4 CBS NFL Pre-Pre-Pre Game Show – Dick Enberg, Soupy Sales.
6 PBS “Who Cares?” – Discussion.
7 ABC Bowling – World Championship.
9 NBC Soccer – Los Angeles Girlieboys vs. New Jersey Sissies (Live).
12 PBS “Caterpillars!” – How they eat (Part 2 of 3).
14 TELE. Cine, “Los Tres Ritz Hermanos Encontrar la Gorila” – Comico policia cazar asesino. 1939. 66 minutos
20 UPN “What’s Your Problem?” – Game.
23 Ind. “For God’s Sake!” – Religious Discussion.
31 FOX Monkeys and Footballs – Video clips.
41 Ind. The Yawning Pastor – “Who does God’s laundry?”
50 UNIV “Que?” - Discusion.
53 Ind. Paid Program: Ron Popeil hawks his latest plastic thing.
57 TRIN “Send Money or go to Hell” – Telethon.
59 PAX Diagnosis Drunk and Disorderly – A doctor (Dick Van Dyke) has a few too many and talks loud late at night.
63 TEL “Pecho Gigante” – Documental con Dolly Parton, Charro, Raquel Welch, Madonna, y Marilyn Monroe.
A&E Inspector Fatzlob of the Yard – British.
AMC “Rain Man” – See listing for Mon: 1:30, 6:00, 10:30. Tue: 12:00, 4:00, 6:00, 10:00. Wed: 4:30, 6:00, 8:00, 10:30, 12:00. Thu: 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00, 9:00, 11:00. Fri: 2:00, 4:00, 6:00, 8:00, 10:00, 12:00.
AP “Animals are People” – Host, Anson Williams.
BET Rap Legends – Vanilla Ice.
BRV Inside the Actor’s Studio – Guest; Lee Majors
CNBC Hardball with Chris Matthews – Yelling and screaming.
CNN Iraqi Propaganda with Wolf Blitzer.
COM Saturday Night Live – A really bad one from 1980 with Denny Dillon and Charles Rocket.
COURT TV Live Trial Coverage – Littering case.
CSPAN Live Senate Coverage – Robert Byrd mumbles (60 min.).
CSPAN 2 Book Notes – Melvin Portzbie, author of “Hitler’s Toothbrush”.
DISC Amazing Inventions – “The Nail” (60 min).
DISN “Honey, I Murdered the Kids” – Comedy (90 min).
E! The E! True Hollywood Story – “Joe DeRita”.
ESPN College Basketball – San Fernando State Teacher’s College vs. Specs Howard School of Broadcast Arts. (Tape)
ESPN 2 High School Basketball – Dexter vs. Monroe (Tape)
ESPN 3 Jr. High School Basketball – Shirts vs. Skins (Live)
ESPN 4 Tag – World Championship. Colorado State is “it”.
FAM “G. Willikers” – Bob (Mike Farrell) finds a button on the floor. (60 min).
FOX NEWS Iraq War Coverage – Geraldo Rivera reports from Iceland.
FOOD “Sandwiches!” – This week; Egg Salad.
FX Movie: “Rain Man” (90 min)
HGTV “Drawers!” – This week; Bureaus.
HIST “Hitler’s Toothbrush” – from the best selling book by Melvin Portzbie.
LIFE “Gab, Gab, Gab” – Discussion.
MSNBC The Peter Arnett Show – Guest; Osama bin Laden.
MTV Skanks of Rock – This week; Courtney Love.
NICK The Bob Spongy Pants and Bob the Building Maintenance Guy Hour.
OUTLF Shooting at Things – This week; Cans.
SCI-FI Star Trek: Deep Despair 9 – Louie Anderson stars as Capt. Dullard.
TBS Cable Ace Test Pattern Awards – Host; Bob Barker.
TCM “Rain Man” (90 min)
TLC “Let’s Clean That Floor”.
TNN Date the Blind – Game.
TNT Afternoon Movie: “Rain Man” (90 min)
TOON The Pound Puppies meet The Hair-Bear Bunch Hour.
TVLD Vintage Tornado Warnings.
USA The Making of “Rain Man”.
VH1 Behind the Music – This week; Bay City Rollers.
WGN Chicago Cubs Rain Delay Theater – “Rain Man” (90 min).

If, as Newton Minnow once stated, television is a vast wasteland, then weekend
television is the long-abandoned sewage farm of the vast wasteland.

I’m taking up stamp collecting.