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28.September.2004 1:18am

be still...

Much of the term days has gone by in quite a flash. You know, flash as in zing, vroom, poof! Life for me has become just about handball and projects and projects and projects. Okay maybe I exaggerated a bit, of course they are the parts about eating and sleeping and other little stuffs.

Now, I know there is an urge within me, the kind that nags away in a little corner. Well, the little bugger is telling me to go jump headlong into another theatre project. Much as sensibilities is worth in Singapore (we tend to be realistic), the call of dream is sometime hard to resist.

One of my good friend's boyfriend went on a 6 months cycling tour from Europe back to Singapore. Chasing dreams across half the world. Now you need something close to courage to do something like this right.

Anyone remember their youth. Those belief of invincibility? The roaring of youth calling you to put down everything and live your live like some bohemian hero? Is being young all about, gasoline, motorcycles and being alive?

So it is true. We grow old. We leave behind our youth and a part of ourselves. Hmm, must go back and check out my diaries on my thoughts from then.

But then of course we often forget to mention that live is just beginning every step of the way, and we lose some we gain some.

18.September.2004 11:26pm

the height of foolishness

Some days I can be such an idiot.

As in dumb dumb brainless dolt spewing stupid, thoughtless remarks that had gone a few a rounds inside my head for approval before my malfunctioning brain says "Oh well, the heck with it." Otherwise I believe I'm a pretty decent human being, alien, gollum whatever.

So praying hard for some super medicine to cure my chronic dumbness and foot-in-the-mouth disease.

Staring at the msn, copying lecture notes, thinking about my very belated project. The mind is a swirl of conflicting ideas and imageries. Can you be so clear and yet confuse at the same time?

Some days I can be so incomprehensible.

I have often felt that being loud and opinionated just mean that you aren't really that confident about yourself. Its a little like drowning out those incessant whispers of self-doubts with an endless stream of words and throw-aways.

Be yourself.

16.September.2004 12:04pm

grey ceilings on the earth...

I'm sure many before me (hmm even myself) have gushed about the joy of staying in on a rain-soaked day. The slight chill that permeates the air, the pattering of the raindrops outside the windows. But of course nothing is ever perfect. I would have wished for a cup of hot cocoa (too lazy to get), a very good book (too lazy to buy) and of course my girlfriend to be around to keep me company. That is of course if we are super-rich and have no other life other than sitting around all day.

Need to go to my faculty in two hours' time. Need to finish an insane number of projects. Need to start on my dissy (endearing term from weili:|). Nothing kills a good mood upon waking up than a good recall of reality.

Life don't sucks because I am having it good for quite a while. But sometimes it just gnaw at you. Its kind of irritating. Just like the stupid, stupid irritating numb-pain on my right arm now. Grr. Can't even figure out what's wrong with it.  Need to get well fast for handball tomorrow. Grr. Grr.

13.September.2004 10:22pm

Lead the way...

For all those who are regular readers of 8Days, I'm sure most of you would be familiar with Jason Hahn. Well he is the guy who occasionally writes the second last feature in the magazine, a short insight into this life with his room-mates and how some current hot topics permeate their lives. Now, I'm neither as good as writer as Jason nor do I have a duo of room-mates (Saffy and Amanda, omg what cute names right?:P) who are well-endowned but that doesn't stop me from attempting to inject some dose of humor, insight and personal reflections in my entries here. That is once you get past the usual rants and weird musings.

August has come and go just like that. I wrote one of my favorite entry last month about my Post-Rag experience and it was kind of sad to relegate it to the dusty corner of the archives. But if I don't do that there won't be space for better things to come eh?

Well, on the topic of funny characters, the closet I have to Saffy and Amanda in my living environment (hostel) here now would be Sam and Wanyi (not in the physical aspects tho; I would love to meet Jason's room-mates in persons tho:P). With their penchant for instructive words like "FISH!!" and "CHICKEN BASKET!" its a wonder I'm still such a wide-eye innocent boy.:P

Perhaps from now, I will try my best to remember the funny happenings of the two of them and penned them down here. So what do you think?

12.September.2004 12:38pm

The Art of Being Serious

Caught the latest news about the Russian School Hostage situation in the Straits Times the other day. Well for me, it was kind of surreal to be reading about another major terrorist attack happening again. ST did a chronological chart on the terrorist attacks that had happened since the Sept 11 attack; felt like it was only yesterday when a club in Bali got blown up. Makes you feel all warm and cozy inside knowing how wonderful the world is, don't you?

.....

I remembered a general paper lesson that I attended in my JC days. The teacher was telling us about how media in general do not present to us an altogether truthful picture about the world around us. ("what's new, right?") And she was actually talking about the News segment in our media. Well, you despite the attempts by our news reporters and writers in maintaining an objective point-of-views, you can't help but find it slightly disturbing when reports on the latest victims in some war is sandwiched between video segments of the latest CDs to buy or a report side-by-side the latest offers from John Little.

So it seems we ain't giving these grave news the dignity they need or deserved? But then again without these reports, the only way to gain access to news is for us to be there in real.

Sounds jaded. No wonder terror news don't seems to strike the general population as hard as it use to be. I think the word that comes to mind is "de-sensitize"?

05.September.2004 1:37pm

Death of the telephone conversationalist

On the phone with my girlfriend last night, I realized something new about myself. Other than functional telephone calls, I haven't had many significant conversations on the phone with my friends for quite a while. And in recounting, I guess the person I talk to the most over the phone would be my dad (asking him to come fetch me from school. Bad boy!) and bluesky (on various problems and news updates).

Now I blame this phenomenon in my life on the invention of MSN and SMS (heck they even sound the same). You see why bother with the uncertainty of how a conversation might goes or the tone of voice you need to use to having an actual topic when you can trade all that for random idle chat out of the blue right. In a sense, the two said culprits allows me (I would say us but I don't really know you guys right) to short-change people who are somewhat important in my life.

That is why I called my girlfriend last night. No cheapo SMSs, or a pop-up on MSN. It might be awkward or short but it sure feels good to be talking to her. Beside she is important right? So henceforth, instead of SMSs, I shall call up my friends instead day or night. (urm maybe not late nights else will be facing the wrath of sleepy parents).

Now if only I can find some way to pay off huge phone bills I am predicting for the future...

02.September.2004 11:53pm

In pursuit of saccharine perfection.

I have to admit Sam might be right on that point about love. Not totally, wholly, everything but maybe just correct enough to do a little gypsy fortune-telling. So the phantom of past experiences do haunt us still and despite your best efforts a tiny bit of you can't help but be shackled to the past.

Welcome to the Bad Things League, alongside Stress and Pride.

The thing to be glad is that despite the stupendous effort of smoky phantoms, the walls that were suppose to keep things out and in are slowly going away. You see, sometimes things can be wonderful enough for you to relax, to give in, to trust.

A piece of saccharine heaven.

Now the paragraphs that just went past might not make a lot of sense. Well, if you know me, you would understand, if not go read a book.:|

Caught the theme song for a new show, Alfie the other day at Apple. The title was "Old Habits Die Hard". Somehow it sound so apt.

My life experience is a mish-mash of contradictory lessons and the only thing only my mind is to get out of it in one piece.:)

Do get your asses to the theatre to catch 13 going 30. Pure sentimental sweetness. See, life should be about predictable bad turns, the obligatory villains and the crowd-pleasing happy ending.

I've said my piece

P.s. do check out the gallery section for photos from my Rag experience

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