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Friday, 1 August 2003

Busy Busy Busy Bizzzzeeeeeeeeee


The strange thing about cleaning .... you go through distinct stages:

    pretending you can't see the dirt
    don't wanna
    oh god it looks murky
    counting the dead insects
    measuring how many weeks dead insects can hold on to a ceiling tile after death
    pathetic attempts with a bit of tissue
    realisation that it's making it look worse
    pretending it's a political issue; one must make more of one's leisure time than to be some twentieth century slave to a 50's perception of 'clean'
    neat bleach (the gay male /Dutch readers will know what I mean)
    realisation that it's making it look worse
    getting out the scary products to do it properly
    railing against the crappy builders who never bothered to clean the stray grouting from the tiles three years back
    realising this particular rantation means you haven't wiped down the bathroom wall / kitchen floor for three years now
    aiming to do too much (ie, begins to retile the bathroom)
    trying harder, for ten minutes, to get the filth off
    burning the skin off your hands because you forgot that scary products need gloves
    pride and industriousness
    realisation that it's making it look worse
    deciding that those ten minutes are more than you've done for three years, so of course it's enough to stop there
    clearing up the steaming chemical mess from the floor
    blackmailing family to provide you with several hours of cup-of-tea-related servitude in honour of your unerring will and derring do in the face of a bit of grime
    realisation that the contrast of the bit you did with the bit you gave up on, makes it look worse
    pretending you can't see the dirt

I have to clean the flat because a load of women* who all have cleaner fingernails than me are coming round for a kinda reunion on Saturday, and if anyone realises the true extent of my filth, they'll point and laugh.
*- and one bloke (Chris, whose blog is over there < = on the blogroll), but his fingernails look pretty manky to me, so he's not such a threat.
Besides which, whenever DH goes away, I have to tidy endlessly, to prove that I'm not the utterly filthy one.

It's two weeks into my holidays now, and it's time I started getting out of bed before 4 in the afternoon, attempting to achieve something from the day, and avoiding drinking every single evening, simply to change the pace.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 7:15 PM BST
Updated: Friday, 1 August 2003 7:54 PM BST
Post Comment | View Comments (3) | Permalink | Share This Post

Saturday, 2 August 2003 - 6:35 PM BST

Name: Alex Buell

Shame on you for being a slob, what's your mum going to say?! I've been dozing between gardening, fixing my motor and dozing again..

Sunday, 3 August 2003 - 6:24 PM BST

Name: loobyloo

LOL! I had a go at some of the tiles behind the cooker this morning - well, quick ineffectual stab anyway. It'll enough to claim "Erm...I think it was me that cleaned those last" though.

Monday, 4 August 2003 - 2:22 AM BST

Name: vanessa

Nooo, tiles behind a cooker are a stab too far.... better to let em get so rancid that you worriedly stroke your chin and decide to get a chap in who can do tiling...

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