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Monday, 1 December 2003

Weapons of Mass Destruction (found!)

via Alfred

Safeway carrier bag
Too-tired child in restaurant whose parents just stuffed him with sugary crap
Shopping trolley with dodgy wheel
Cup of coffee when on the move and trying to unlock a door
That fat caribbean woman in the big winter coat who stands blocking random doorways across the length and breadth of London
Someone advancing towards you with a rota
An immobile ginger spider with hidden legs that suddenly moves at 4am
Large rich turkey dinners in polite (ie, no farting) company
The laughing-too-loud unknown guest at the leaving ceremony, whom no-one can recall inviting
The bosses' piranha smile
Sunday broadsheet newspaper, with 42 pull-out sections of adverts, and only two articles
The foreign log in your loo that won't flush
IKEA on a Sunday
The cold stone floor on your instep first thing in the morning
The old duffer at work who's been there a decade too long and has gone utterly mad, but who hasn't realised it yet (they took my stapler, they moved my desk, I could burn down the building)
Dave's super-strong arse-clenching coffee
The phrase "could you just...?"
Any sharp object at knee height
People who settle down on the bog to telephone you, complete with sound effects
Naughty cat with a grudge about kitty litter provision
That bloody bottle of wine still in the fridge
Freezing biting British winters

This page graced by sarsparilla at 7:40 PM GMT
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Monday, 1 December 2003 - 8:17 PM GMT

Name: sarah
Home Page:

Cash-till drawers at pubic bone height that spring open when you least expect it. ow.

Monday, 1 December 2003 - 9:57 PM GMT

Name: Kat
Home Page:

The staircase that I bang my head on almost daily even though I've lived in my house for 4 years now.

Monday, 1 December 2003 - 9:58 PM GMT

Name: jatb
Home Page:

Charity muggers who wave direct debit forms in your face (and then chase you along the street).

Monday, 1 December 2003 - 10:31 PM GMT

Name: anonymous

Lil-lets tampax with applicators. - the ones that have that 'lip' on the push in bit that always @#%$! in a painful place when you're in a hurry.


Monday, 1 December 2003 - 10:33 PM GMT

Name: anonymous

And since when was 'n-i-p-s' a dirty word??? Nipps, maybe, or bugger or fuck or willy, but nips???????


Monday, 1 December 2003 - 10:35 PM GMT

Name: anonymous

oops! :-S

Monday, 1 December 2003 - 11:07 PM GMT

Name: paul
Home Page:

People who feel the need to come around my desk to talk to me. The desk is there for a reason, to keep you away from me. It's my barrier against YOU, don't come around it unless you want to show me your scar/tattoo/breasts/vagina/raise. Whatever. Stay on the other side. Especially men. My personal space excludes you on basis of gender.

Tuesday, 2 December 2003 - 4:41 PM GMT

Name: Lux

No Parking signs with complicated instructions: no parking 9pm-6am from here to corner except on alternate Tuesdays in which case 2 hour parking but no standing between 7am-10am except for buses in which case stopping for snow emergencies only.

Yes, I got a parking ticket this morning. Grrrrr.

Tuesday, 2 December 2003 - 5:53 PM GMT

Name: cacoa

people call you in the loo??! God i hope they don't do that to me!

Tuesday, 2 December 2003 - 7:01 PM GMT

Name: yidaho
Home Page:

Ooh, I always used to make calls from the loo until I surrendered to the fact that whilst it's easy to slip down one's jeans and knickers with one hand, it's impossible to pull them back up again therefore rendering one immobile for the remaining duration of the call.

Tuesday, 2 December 2003 - 8:10 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

It's worst if you can tell they're calling from the loo (the echo of the tiles usually does it, because then you stop concentrating and just listen out for sound effects...)

Actually, there's another one - trying not to catch your colleague's eye in the office loos after you've just heard 'sound effects'.

Sunday, 7 December 2003 - 1:25 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa
Home Page:

I can reply to you now you've owned up about who you are. And after all that kerfuffle when someone commented anonymously on your blog, too! It wasn't me, by the way.... ;D

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