My alarm clock is cursed

Problem: Have to go to work and cover for Duch's job tomorrow. However, I habitually stay up late and wake up within a tight window of 1.30-3.30pm. It shouldn't be too difficult to wake up at a normal hour, (especially since I have to start getting to work by ten to 8 next term) except I decided two weeks back that my alarm clock is cursed.
No matter what time I set it for, it wakes me at 11.30am, broadcasting spooky psycho-static, and flashing "14.21". Shades of Final Destination / The Omen.....
It did the same when Mushu stayed over a few weekends back, and I began to have recurrent nightmares that maybe 14.21 is the hour of my doom. So I'm too scared to switch the alarm clock on.
Solution: I could go out to the 24 hour store and pick up a cheapy one, but no, I decided it was a far far more realistic plan to drink lots of white wine, fall asleep early, then spontaneously awaken in time for work. Ah well, at least it will make Duch look like Employee of the Year in comparison.

jatb made me log on to Udate today, so we could stalk the chaps on there while simultaneously sniggering at their photos by email. Yes, chaps, what your paranoid inner voice said would happen. A 21st century version of makin g gagging gestures in the ladies toilets.
It's quite a revelation what some blokes will describe as "very goodlooking", though. If 1 % of those neanderthal sub-literate octogenarian meatheads count as "very good-looking", then I'm bloody Marilyn Monroe. Even these guys look better!
Apparently my most perfect match on their international database (criteria: human, over 27, taller than five feet 8) ..... ?
Me. Sheesh, the DH coulda told them that without the bloody fuss!
Anyway, if you get the chance to log onto udate, look out for "1Mermaid", and message her about how good-looking you are when you rattle your wheelchair, she hates that. Tee hee.