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Wednesday, 21 April 2004

Torn Tortured Tendons

Mood:  energetic
Topic: Belle de Jour

Every single muscle in my body is screaming. I've had eight days off work, my job's pretty active anyway (there's no desk sitting, so you're moving all day), and added to this was the utter lunacy that made me decide to run to work early yesterday(complete with weighted backpack).

Hold up, let me say that again - after being completely horizontal all day for two weeks, I decided to run to work.

How transparent is the stupid that is this decision?
Easy peasy stupid, mega dunderhead stupid, or should I just lay down in the A road and let the Darwin effect take its course now?

I made it in 25 minutes, and was impressed with my speed, with the fact it only took me two minutes to cool off after, with the fact that despite not stretching at either end, my legs felt fine.
Till I tried to walk up the hill home again.

I ended up lain on the living room floor, whimpering every time I tried to crack the rigor mortis setting into my limbs in order to reach for a packet of crisps (super fit runner's food, doncha know?), and staggering clumsily to bed at seven. Where my tendons performed a tarantella rictus on me for the next seven hours.
Three in the morning, and, oh yeah, now I'm stretching. Now I'm desperately yanking the kinks out of my stiff leaden legs by hurting them as much as I can stand. I forgot to feed the cats, so there's scratches and no sympathy there.

Aww, cummon, don't you pity me a little bit?
It's not easy being this retarded.

Turn Off TV Week ~ I'm spending a week living an imaginary life as a couch potato, to see if it's any more fulfilling.

Daily Selection: I might have watched ~

1. 8pm, C4, Relocation, Relocation ~ Kirstie and Phil help a couple up sticks from London's Elephant and Castle to the Wiltshire countryside, while still maintaining a small flat in the city. This is almost the reverse of my migration, fourteen years ago, into London. (And I have ended up stuck in a second home small flat in the city.) Should be interesting to see how they deal with the complete and utter lack of any cultural life or diversity in Wiltshire, however pretty the rolling Downs are. Property buying is almost a mania in London, and property buying reality tv is double that if you own a property that's risen in value by 200% in the last few years (not that I can sell the damn thing). Duch regularly telephones me with commands to switch on the teev of a Friday morning and give my opinion of the property relocation prices in Tennessee to her. It's not nice, but it's widespread.
2. 9pm, BBC1, May 33rd ~ Lia Williams stars as a woman with multiple personality disorder, who tries to escape her abusive past in a hard hitting depressing drama special, continue after the news at ten. This sounds dreadful, really dreadful, but believe me, there's sod all else on, apart from prison dramas and reality tv. You never see men in tv biopics of people with multiple personalities, do you? Way to give yourself nightmares.
3. 11pm, C4, Frasier ~ News of Sam and Luka's romance doesn't go down well with Alex. Repeat. I haven't watched Frasier in so long that I don't recognise a single one of those names, but any port in a storm - Frasier at least is always well scripted, with great timing, and it would make me feel less like death (particularly running on from the proggy above) than watching the bloody appalling Sex and the City repeats.
Verdict: That is one fucking huge waste of hours of your life. If you want to watch this stuff, might I suggest that simultaneously beating your head against a kitchen knife would rid the world of a moron, Vanessa?

This page graced by sarsparilla at 3:36 AM BST
Updated: Wednesday, 21 April 2004 6:16 PM BST
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Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 6:31 AM BST

Name: Sarah
Home Page:

Ewww. Is that picture to demonstrate that despite being devoid of epidermis & dermis, one should still consider one's personal hygiene?

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 6:47 AM BST

Name: Vanessa

I thought they were dancing, somehow. Maybe it's the very small, feminine hands.

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 7:04 AM BST

Name: Sarah

Rock DJ?

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 10:36 AM BST

Name: JonnyB

Nonononono don't watch Frasier. Dying on its arse. Keep your happy memories.

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 10:37 AM BST

Name: Vanessa

Actually, the genitalia's pretty feminine sized, too.

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 1:59 PM BST

Name: jatb

Was that marathon-inspired running, by any chance?

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 3:40 PM BST

Name: Haddocktwat
Home Page:

TV is a major and I mean fucking major waste. Mostly it is made by morons, starring morons for morons to watch. I say 'don't be a moron". If you watch that trash it will only encourage them to make more. Turn the tv off and do something else, anything else.

Your Pal


Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 5:18 PM BST

Name: sarah
Home Page:

I was wondering the other day if they were ever going to show a series for the terminally-bored country dwellers who are desperate to escape to the city, a promised land where the shops not only open, but are within walking distance.

Try a hot bath for achey muscles, or if you only have a shower, piping hot and see if you can get it onto massage function. No pain no gain, as someone used to repeat like a mantra when they came back from France burnt to a crisp, insistent they were going to get a perma-tan.

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 5:22 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Rest safe, I'm not watching any of these things, as it's Turn Off TV Week, and I won't watch any of them (apart from CSI) next week, as I don't often watch tv.
What I'm doing is spending a week living an imaginary life as a couch potato, to see if it's any more fulfilling.

But thanks for the tip - I'm shocked.

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 5:23 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

No f u c k i n g chance - it was almost being late on the first morning of Corporate Punctuality Week - inspired.

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 5:24 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

But I never turn the TV on. Honestly, doesn't anyone read the WORDS of these damn posts? Heavy sigh. ;-)

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 5:25 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Can I redirect you to the posts on the topic of Malice?

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 5:51 PM BST

Name: Kat
Home Page:

Well, look on the bright side. After that great running work-out you'll have the best set of legs for miles around...

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 6:04 PM BST

Name: Sarah
Home Page: http://jttp://


Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 8:46 PM BST

Name: sarah
Home Page:

oh aye, I'd forgotten about that :D

you'll just have to suffer.

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 - 10:01 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

I already did! :D It's my lardy belly (the one that grew in the last two months I've lived here) that's the only difficulty.

Thursday, 22 April 2004 - 4:12 AM BST

Name: Rose
Home Page:

You could try icing with ice packs three times a day for 15 minutes at a time? I should take my own advice...

If you do ice though, don't take a hot shower afterwards!


Thursday, 22 April 2004 - 6:32 AM BST

Name: Vanessa

Ouchy to the ice. I don't have a hot shower - Malice allows me a hot bath between the hours of 5am and 7am.
I'm mostly ending up doing half hearted stretches in bed, and wondering idly about spending all Saturday being massaged.

Thursday, 22 April 2004 - 1:21 PM BST

Name: Lux

It's also Short Attention Span Week.

I don't know if Frasier is on the same schedule on the BBC as it is here, but right now the fabulous Laura Linney is a recurring character as Frasier's crush. I hadn't watched in a couple years but watched it this week and it was pretty funny.

Aside from Niles and Daphne. zzzzzzzzzz

No clue who Sam, Alex and Luka are. Except that Luka lives on the second floor...

Thursday, 22 April 2004 - 9:36 PM BST

Name: chrysalis

Hmmmm.....guess I've never seen him before.

Thursday, 22 April 2004 - 9:37 PM BST

Name: chrysalis

Why wonder idly? Much more fun to wonder actively. ;)

Thursday, 22 April 2004 - 10:39 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Boom! Nice pun.

In honour of short attention span week, let me be the first to intone: "I don't like your @#%$! comments system Vanessa, it loses all my posts just because i'm too retarded to read the size 22 font letters that say 'press confirm to submit this post'. No fair."

Friday, 23 April 2004 - 6:05 AM BST

Name: Lux

Just don't ask him how he is.

(...did I take that one too far?)

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