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Thursday, 8 January 2004

Statement of Audience

"I realize that nothing I say matters to anyone else on the entire planet. My opinions are useless and unfocused. I am an expert in nothing. I know nothing. I am confused about almost everything. I cannot, as an individual, ever possibly know everything, or even enough to make editorial commentary on the vast vast majority of things that exist in my world. This is a stupid document; it is meaningless drivel that I do not expect any of the several billion people on my planet to actually read. People who do read my rambling, incoherent dumbfuckery are probably just as confused as I am, if not moreso, as they are looking to my sorry ass for an opinion when they should be outside playing Frisbee with their dog or screwing their life partner or getting a dog or getting a life partner. Anyone who actually takes the time to read my bullshit probably deserves to ingest my fucked up and obviously mistaken opinions on whatever it is that I have written about."

The Funniest Thing I've Read Today

"Personal weblogs, those that tend to go on about their cats, their grandma's health, their trip to the big city, or what film they just saw, are to me a fascinating catalog of human experience. Who care, detractors ask? I care. I often find them inspirational. [snip]
It takes a great deal of courage to share your life, to choose to live it publicly. It's encouraging to me to know that there are people out there struggling and suffering and overcoming the same sorts of things that I wrestle with in my daily life. Personal weblogs make the world less cold, less isolated, less... impersonal.
For those of you who don't like personal weblogs, remember that you don't have to read them, just like you don't have to watch TV shows you don't like, read books you're not interested in, or listen to the music ClearChannel plays (or shoves down your throat, depending upon your perspective). You still have free will, and can exercise it any way you choose."

And The Most Eloquent Response

This page graced by sarsparilla at 7:01 AM GMT
Updated: Friday, 9 January 2004 7:11 AM GMT
Post Comment | View Comments (19) | Permalink | Share This Post

Thursday, 8 January 2004 - 8:16 AM GMT

Name: wifflewiffle

[Cliche] It's only funny cos it's oh so true. [/Cliche]

Thursday, 8 January 2004 - 8:53 AM GMT

Name: Legomen
Home Page:

It be Solipsism

Thursday, 8 January 2004 - 3:24 PM GMT

Name: Kat
Home Page:

Oh, the person that wrote that just has hemmoroids or vaginal warts or something equally gross.

I left a comment on your post from yesterday (basically, what Paul said with less bite) but it's not there. It's probably my own dumbf*ckery for hitting the wrong button or something.

Thursday, 8 January 2004 - 3:34 PM GMT

Name: lemonpillows
Home Page:

Hmmmmmm.... But we LIKE to read about your messed-up life.... That reminds me.. I have sooooo much mess to post on my blog later... Mental health services in this country SUCK ASS BIG TIME!!! (though I haven't quite worked out just who has a gob big enough to suck MY ass...)

Thursday, 8 January 2004 - 5:24 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Oh dear. Sorry!

Thursday, 8 January 2004 - 7:02 PM GMT

Name: miss fee
Home Page:

hey girl, why so down on yourself? I don;t read your blog solely for your opinions, really I don;t care if you prefer thongs to pants (shock, gasp) (ok maybe I do a little...) but I read you cos you make me laugh :-)

chin up and all that feel good malarky

miss fee x

Thursday, 8 January 2004 - 11:57 PM GMT

Name: Sie

I like eggs.

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 1:42 AM GMT

Name: fastmixer

I have just started reading your blog. I admit reading it was by accident because I clicked on blogging, (because I didn't know what in the hell it was) and happened on your site. I enjoy it immensely and I think you write really well. Matter of fact I have been debating whether to start one of my own but your life seems much more interesting than mine. And actually none of us knows what the hell is going on in this world. The ones that say they do are just lying like the devil and making money off those of us who are more honest LOL. Keep writing!!!
P.S. By the way I read the selfimportant bit from the moron who actually left their email for comments. What a joke. I hope nobody emails him/her one word. It would serve him/her right. The sanctimonius @#%$!.

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 3:48 AM GMT

Name: Mike
Home Page:

I see someone is feeling down

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 3:59 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Lol. That's the nicest comment. Thank you! I did post it because I thought it was funny and had no time to blog today, after too few hours of sleep last night, not because I really truly agreed with it. The plain fact is, those words are taken from the site linked, they're not mine, as I'm far far too pedantic to use American spellings or US dialect words like 'a s s' - it's a B U M or an
A R S E, dammit!

Oh no, Angelfire's going to censor those words, isn't it?

And finally, my life really is at it's most boring right now for the last thirty years - which is the reason I have time to blog currently. I'm glad it sounds interesting in writing - it wasn't so interesting living it. Therefore I say, take up blogging yourself. And live an interesting life vicariously through your blog!

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 4:01 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

The entry before this one; yes. This entry; no, I thought the article linked to, and the letter I took from it were hilarious. Honest!

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 4:02 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Thanks for that comment. It may well be time for a knickers post.

The letter was C & Ped from the site linked to, I don't write or talk like that. I'm English, dad nabbit, I don't say 'a s s'. :o)

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 9:21 AM GMT

Name: Looby

Oh, the sadistic half of me was a bit disappointed there - I thought someone was going to wade in with a cutting deflationary comment for a minute.

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 11:48 AM GMT

Name: Lux
Home Page:

That's funny- I usually use British words like a r s e and b u m and s h a g and f e c k and such because they sound less crude to me than American slang.

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 12:28 PM GMT

Name: Winnie

I am soooooo happy that you weren't taking it seriously. As far as blogging, Hmmm...well still thinking about it. Talk to you later.

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 2:50 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

LESS crude? Wow. Not to us, they don't.

Shagtastic. ;-P

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 2:51 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Do you mean 'deflating'?

(will that do?)

Friday, 9 January 2004 - 11:20 PM GMT


Notice that the author of that diatribe is some little twat from Indiana (USA) State University? Explains a lot. Smug little farker from a state university. So impressive.

Glad you are feeling cheerier, Vanessa!

Saturday, 10 January 2004 - 3:20 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Hah. And now I'm spending hours trying to recognise who wrote this from the writing style, cos you forgot to add in your name. I vote E?

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