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Tuesday, 24 February 2004

Borrrrrring Diary Post Again....

Topic: Eurotrash
Tuesday: Trying to get phones, electricity, voting rights and gas connected, I come up against the age old problem of the esoteric password you can't remember. That, and the claws scraping against iron Glaswegian accent of my interrogator:
GHN [Glaswegian Hard Nut]: Ah give yez a clue, iss a freevurb.
GT [Gullible Twat]: A what?
GHN: A flee burr.
GT: No, I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.
GHN: A feemur.
GT: Um. Ahhh, right.
GT: No, I'm afraid I didn't get it.
GHN: Ah'll spill it feyoh; iss a F.L.E.B.O.U.R.
I'll give you a clue: look at the URL up there.

Then an expensive meal out at the Cafe du Jardin by the Royal Opera House, with yidaho. I ate steaks of rare ostrich, washed down with quantities of champagne (well, a few glasses). Unforch, I got a cheapo internet deal on the food, so (it's not necessarily subsequent, but I hold strong suspicions) the service, timing, seating, delivery, and refreshment was all shit. One hour and fifteen minutes between bread roll greetings and ordering your initial drink is not really on, is it? I've had better meals at bloody Nando's. And better customer service in Tesco. Still, the table was too dark to see your food, that may have been a bonus.
And the ostrich steak? Well, it wasn't as tasty as the time Toulouse fed me a pig's ear, but it had the texture of beefsteak, with the taste of a peculiarly tasteless porkchop. And knowing I had bloodied ostrich inside me gave me the queasies, all right. Still, company was excellent, and not knowing the way home in the slightest, I set off driving without a map and made home it through pitch black wonder-where in thirty five minutes flat. Amazing.
Still don't know the way home from Covent Garden, though.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 6:20 PM GMT
Updated: Saturday, 28 February 2004 6:05 PM GMT
Post Comment | View Comments (16) | Permalink | Share This Post

Tuesday, 24 February 2004 - 7:39 PM GMT

Name: Lettis

Ok, just in case there's a whole army of shy dimwits like me out there, not commenting because they're staring at your URL going "Um, aahhh, right, yes, er ... no - I actually I still don't get it", can I be the first to stop being shy and say "No, I really don't get it". Help.

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 3:23 AM GMT

Name: Lux
Home Page:

I get it... muahaha. Now I'm going to break into all your accounts and change it to tastelessporkchop.

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 4:00 AM GMT

Name: Cyn
Home Page:

I haven't clue one about what your password is--but I almost peed myself laughing while reading of your exchange with the GHN!

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 8:00 AM GMT

Name: Belle
Home Page:

Ummm. I don't get it either. But don't mind me, I'm still trying to figure out why your knives are labeled "knife" and which toast is toasted correctly.

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 10:43 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Her accent came into play when she was pronouncing letters, too. For example, what sounded like a 'B' was her regional way of sounding out a 'V'.

Does that help?

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 10:43 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Lol, old time reader alert! In the Division of Spoils, I tried to get the cutlery that wasn't labelled, but I lost that fight and got the stuff with the labels.

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 10:44 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Hah ... you get the prize. Send me your address, and I'll send you an ostrich steak. ;)

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 2:00 PM GMT

Name: Vic
Home Page:

That's an easy one, but I prefer dandelion & burdock.

ps Is it a good thing telling us all your password, even if it is as cryptic as bloody Enigma machine.

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 4:29 PM GMT

Name: NC

At last, after pondering subconsiously (sic)about passwords all day

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 5:21 PM GMT

Name: Lux

As long as it's been cleared for Mad Ostrich Disease. :)

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 7:07 PM GMT

Name: Kat
Home Page:

I get it now... When I read this yesterday I was completely lost, though.

Also thanks for letting me know that if I'm being adventurous at dinner then ostrich is probably not the best way to go. How good could something that ugly taste, anyway?

Don't answer that.

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 7:57 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

SHE made it cryptic, not ME.
Dandelion and Burdock tastes way better... and it's only my password for offline stuff. :) Online is far ruder - always fun when you want ISP helplines to use it for you.

Congratulations on the finest blog entry I've ever seen yesterday, by the way!

Wednesday, 25 February 2004 - 7:57 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Ugly on the outside lovely on the inside is what my mum always taught me.

Wasn't true, mind, but nice thought.

Saturday, 28 February 2004 - 1:45 AM GMT

Name: donna
Home Page:

errr, was i edited? ok then

Saturday, 28 February 2004 - 11:14 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Not by me .... ? Whappen, Donna? I've only ever once deleted a comment and once edited one, both from people I know who'd revealed what my job was (and I told them both about it after deleting) and neither of those comments were you. I swear I'd not censor you! Come back! Come back! Puh-lease!!!!!!

ahem. I mean, please try again.

Saturday, 28 February 2004 - 4:32 PM GMT

Name: donna
Home Page:

Sorry kiddo, being sarcastic in a funny way is hard to convey on a screen. I was teasin' ya. I'm not going's too twistedly nice here anyway.

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