Guest Blog: Everyone I've Ever F*cked.
#12: Brian - Porcelain Telephone
Okay, so now everyone thinks I'm this great big lezzer, and all my lesbian mates think I'm one of the sisterhood now. They've stood by my side to expiate and purge Briony #10's memory, and carefully not mentioned that I'm snivelling. So a huge party, and one of the hosts, female has decided to become flexi-sexi for the night. A really good looking, intelligent, sexy, interesting host, too. She propositions me. Still stuck in character I say the wrong thing: "I'm not interested in straight girls".
Spot the irony.
She tries repeatedly, and I'm a fool, a total dimwitted bulb head for resisting, but what the hey, I'm drunk, popular, flirting wildly, and loving it.
So how the hell did I end up in the toilet all night boffing a squaddie?
They'd drunk a hell of a lot by 2am, when I went in there. God knows what they all did to save their dignity until 6am, when I came out. Shamefaced. Tiptoeing. A lesbian of Ill Repute.
And honestly, I spent half the night, inbetween loud shags, chatting about the role of metaphor and reported speech in Roddy Doyle's novels. I swear.
Posted by Clytemnestra, as part of the Twelve Guest Blogs of Christmas
This page graced by sarsparilla
at 7:07 AM GMT
Post Comment | View Comments (19) | Permalink | Share This Post
Post Comment | View Comments (19) | Permalink | Share This Post