Guest Blog: Everyone I've Ever F*cked.
#9: Brian - The Rubberised Man
At the time I met Brian, he was the last person I would fancy. Short, flexible, crawling, funny, rubber featured, like Mr Bean. He had all the hallmarks of a great pal, and none of the attractions of a lover. Still, a distant boyfriend, the sudden jolt of finals ending, an employer who tried to drag me into bed daily, and the licentious influence of the rapacious fmc all conspired so that when the object of seven hour's flirtation passed on the chance (fool!), I reasoned that if Brian #9 had been up for those drunken sugar fights in the italian restaurant, he probably wouldn't mind being dragged from his sleeping bag for a shag either.
The only surprise, really, was how kind, gentle, and caring Brian #9 turned out to be. He made cheap sexual misconduct feel like an act of trust, and a part of me has always honoured him for that. He did indeed become a somewhat over-tactile friend, and invited me to his wedding, where he was as lecherous, rubbery faced and pucely crawling as ever. The sweetheart.
Posted by Clytemnestra , as part of the Twelve Guest Blogs of Christmas