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Wednesday, 17 December 2003

Guest Blog: Everyone I've Ever F*cked.
#5: Brian - The Ageing Pop Star

Appropriately, after four years living with this musician, I find it hard to select a representative moment. However, this moment might just do: I awoke, found a stray homeless man, leafing through the copious and comprehensive record collection, stepped over the prone, curled and foetal unconscious body of my one and only, (who had fallen head first onto a full ashtray in an acid and Tennant's Super fucked stupor earlier that morning), to fill the kettle at the kitchen sink. I left him there, and showed the nice, young, encrusted Italian beggar the door, before leaving for a lecture on medieval literature.
As a sexual style, Brian was artistic, clammy, gentle; although one could also insert frenzied and ineffectual rutting into into that sentence. After I left, he reverted to his strings of male ballet dancers with a sigh of relief.
But Brian had begun as a mysterious, Bowie-like figure. Tall, vulpine, bonily attractive, with an aquiline nose. Think John Hurt, young and rangy. I had spotted him while in a pub with Byron, the year before, who had whispered to me about Brian's chart single, his reputation for liking it rough and for swinging both ways. All of which added to the glamour.
Years later, I discovered that Brian had been following me home from school since I was fourteen, that he thought I had teeth like David Bowie, and that half of the parties I had been to with Brian #3 (who eventually turned out to be Brian #5's regular dealer) had been engineered specifically by Brian #5's best friend in order that he meet me. Of course, I'd been too preoccupied by the social awkwardness of public intercourse with #4; I left early, sober, and uninitiated each time. Some may deem a man who stalks schoolgirls not the most attractive of suitors, however, I was that supremely egotistical age of seventeen, where obeisance to oneself appears to be a logical state of affairs, so this only accentuated Brian #5's aptitude, as a paramour, his qualification to be my devotee.

Posted by Clytemnestra, as part of the Twelve Guest Blogs of Christmas

This page graced by sarsparilla at 7:20 AM GMT
Updated: Wednesday, 17 December 2003 7:36 AM GMT
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Sunday, 21 December 2003 - 12:28 PM GMT

Name: Looby

Phew! I've had to print this one off. I'll read it later over my cocoa.

Friday, 26 December 2003 - 2:03 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Oh yikes!

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