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Tuesday, 23 December 2003

The Sims

The people I talk about here, they aren't accurate depictions of my real friends. They're facsimiles.
Been reading a lot of anti-blogger posts on blogs (hey, ever heard of irony? Nobody forces you guys to blog) Made me think about that stage that blogs seem to go through when the people reading divide into people who no longer call (hey, they know all about you from the blog! Why ring?), people who assume that nothing goes unblogged (whaddaya mean you packed your job in and joined the circus? You called it accountancy on the blog), and people who don't know you at all, but feel they do, through the blog (these ones are the most flattering - and unreal - group).
Made me think hard about how you caricature your friends and acquaintances on a blog. How you twist them and their words to make yourself look that bit more right / justified / great / successful. How you take from them their actions, their words, even their names and reanimate them to fit your own story.
And how different the blog would be if they had a right of reply.
So having given the people I blog about no voice, no dignity, and no avenue of retribution, I decided to narrow and confine their souls that little bit further, and imagine my victims could argue back:
You populate this world with your characters. We move when you make us move, we say what you have us say. We have interests because you wish it so.
We're entirely creatures of your imagination. You don't know if we're real at all.

We're not really as you describe us, you know. We're not like that at all. We have no right of reply here.

Then I got all jumpy and freaky and my soul shivered. The air seemed a little more sharp, my friendships seemed a little more tenuous, the 'artistic license' little more than an excuse to bitch and whine. I decided not to let the voices continue.

Christmas Cracker Joke Survey 5:
Q. What chewing gum do snakes like?
A. Wrigley's.
(Woolworth's - nice try)

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Vanessa/Female/31-35. Lives in United Kingdom/London/East London/Bow, speaks English and German. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection. And likes Literature / Movies/Food / Eating / Drinking.
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United Kingdom, London, East London, Bow, English, German, Vanessa, Female, 31-35, Literature / Movies, Food / Eating / Drinking.

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i say, "FUCK!"

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This page graced by sarsparilla at 12:47 PM GMT
Updated: Tuesday, 23 December 2003 10:19 PM GMT
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Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 2:47 PM GMT

Name: Fluffy
Home Page:

ooo i found ya hello!!!!
ok firstly its never wise to listen to the voices in your head ;)

Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 2:51 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Hey, cheers, Miss Fluffy. Hope you wrap the right presents!

Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 3:33 PM GMT

Name: Anne
Home Page:

You are right, of course, but they could make a blog and write a response, couldn't they? Who knows if they haven't? Or they could leave little, smary comments. Of course, thats assuming they know that the blog exists... Plus, I am brutal to myself. I won't take my own side unless its painfully obvious that the "other" is so wrong its scary. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :p

Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 3:57 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Oh, they all know about the blog. Otherwise there'd be not a scrap of guilt. A whole Catholic upbringing and I still fail to feel any guilt over anything. But impoliteness is different; a blog can achieve what the Pope failed to, hey?

Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 4:25 PM GMT

Name: Kat
Home Page:

My friends and family don't have my blog address. I need somewhere to hang around without them for a little while and in case I do feel the need to post something snarky then I don't have to worry about it.

I don't blame you for not letting the voices continue. The voices are overrated, anyway.

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 6:00 PM GMT

Name: Legomen
Home Page:

My wife recently discovered my blog by doing a web search with my name after a "friend" tipped her off.

She uses it to catch up with my news. This is a bit worrying though !!

Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 7:52 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

(Well you do practically have your name and address on your blog!!!)

I recommend leaving lots of fictional false trails so that when these things are discovered, nobody knows the lies from the truth. And thus you can slip in far more truth than anyone ever wants to hear.

Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 7:53 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Kat said: My friends and family don't have my blog address

Oh! I used to be so impressed with how confidently you hauled your kids over the coals online, too. ;-P

Tuesday, 23 December 2003 - 8:44 PM GMT

Name: Kat
Home Page:

Never fear: they get hauled over the coals in real life without the benefit of the keyboard. ;0)

Wednesday, 24 December 2003 - 7:45 PM GMT

Name: Cyn

Thought provoking post.

I wonder how often I've ventured into the territory of "people who don't know you at all, but feel they do."?
I wonder how often I've gotten me confused with my blog persona...ugh, this is getting too self-analytical...think I shall remain oblivious...for now.

Wednesday, 24 December 2003 - 10:07 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Or people who don't know themselves, but feel they do?

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