In the end, myself, and about 10 or 15 others HATE Cops. Apparently getting naked in a street and making out with your favorite male friend and video taping it for your girlfriend Holly is not a good idea. Lets just say that county lock up wasn't that bad. If you know how to drop the soap properly.
 

I'm gonna look back on this moment where I got the iMac up the ass and smile: "Geekychick.net: Mactastic!"
 

Where will I be exactly one month from today?
Attending an event at the local Gay bar of course!

FUCK!

Hmm, I wonder when we are going to get our schedules in the mail...too bad I won't be in town to see it when it comes....or will I? o_0 Shit, I don't even remember what gay tango classes I signed up for
 

I just saw this report on CNN Headline News..... apparently I tried to have sex with my phone and it took a picture of it. I hope Holly didn't see it!

 

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TOM!!

I present to you: Even More Homosexual Versions of This Site!

EVERYONE CLICK THE LINK BELOW - We are testing a new feature for Lockergnome and we need to see if you can withstand the shock of seeing me naked. I always thought I was dead-sexy, but I was dead wrong.

CLICK FOR EYE GAUGING PAIN!

Okay, that place is kickass. It may not be as nice as the SoHo store or anything like that....but it still has some nice things. It is the only place (besides redlightrunner.com) where you can get Apple clothing, and let me tell you this clothing is really great. I bought a shirt with a big picture of Steve Jobs on it. That guy is my ideal, and I will bang him someday. Orgasmic!

I had lunch with Courtney @ Boston Market because I love chicken. I eat more chicken than that Jared Foggel, who is also my ideal. I have a shirt of him too, and, yup, you guessed it, I wanna bang him too! That girl is a lot of fun! We are already talking about going to go see the Golden Gate Bridge next Thursday before I leave since I have never seen it. After that I'm gonna get a male prostitute and have a very, very fun morning/afternoon/evening/night!

Tomorrow I have the possibility of going to L.A. but I don't know if that is going to happen, things might get pretty... orgasmic... with the prostitute and it might take another day to... wrap up any loose ends. If you know what I mean... uh, yeah.

Well, sorta. Tom, Courtney, and myself are going to the Apple Company Store in Cupertino, I need a new dildo, and nobody makes better dildos than Apple!

So make sure to watch the Moblog AND I will be taking pictures of me and the dildo, so watch for those later!

Dr. Phil

'nuff said.

UPDATE
It happened. I banged Dr. Phil. Orgasmic!

It is official that I will be home earlier than expected: But to keep it a surprise to Holly that I've been cheating on her the whole trip, I'm not going to announce when.

Looks like I didn't get that job at Best Buy. They said they don't approve of men wearing dresses to work their. I told them there was no way I can work without a dress. I will get the ACLU up their ass anytime now. Orgasmic!

Found out dildos are great for late-night "action."

Subway is the best place to eat...can't believe I never ate there until like 5 months ago. I had always admired Jared's sexy body in the commercials, but I just couldn't bring myself to go there. But, some things in life can be conquered after all.

Instead of having "Hardees" out here in the west, they have "Carl's Jr." Same logo, same colors, same everything, except their fry-boys refused to have sex with me :(

San Jose has a KICK-ASS chiropractic school. They also have one in Florida. AND I know for a fact that Holly is going to go to college in Florida, I plan on moving with her, I hear there are lots of old guys down there. Meow!

By the way: things have been fixed with my friend back east. He's over the fact I have a "girlfriend," but just the same I'll give him some sympathy sex when I get the chance.

Okay, overnight DNS servers changed for the site....so things may look a little weird for awhile. I need to upload all the archive pictures and pop-ups and a lot of things need to be updated for the new root file paths.

I'll be coming home sooner than expected....just don't know what date yet. I might be going to L.A. with Cheyenne this weekend but that is still up in the air and I will be staying with Chris P. next thursday and then next saturday I am going Sky-Diving wiht Tom and a few other people. Woohoo!

As most of you know, I fucking hate HTML and coding. Would anyone be willing to create a new kick-ass site template for sammydman.com that rivals the current design? Of course you would have a credit link on the site and I'll even put a good word in for you on the Bits & Bytes newsletter which goes out to over 77,000 people daily. (not to mention the people that read it online).

Some people don't like the fact that I don't design my own site, but oh well, it isn't theirs and they don't have to look at it. :-D If anyone would like to help this site out, email: sam at lockergnome dot com

So lets get to the meat of the story: I woke up around 5:30 when kevin and his dad left, I packed, talked to people for a long long time, and left for the airport at 9am. Caught my 1st flight at 10:30...everything on that flight went fine. We arrived a little late and we sat at the gate forever. I ran to my next flight which was in a completely new terminal and I had to take the "TRAAIN" to get there....by the time I made it there they were boarding 1st class. So after awhile I got on the plane and fell right to sleep. I slept right through take-off (mind you, I went to bed around 3am cst) and apparently about 30 minutes into the flight the captain came on the PA and said that we had to turn back around and head back towards Dallas for an emergency landing. Once we were over Dallas he came back on and told us that we had to fly around the airport for another hour to burn up the fuel and that he was going to lower the landing gear to create more drag. He told us to expect fire trucks and all at the airport and that all other air traffic at the airport was closed because of our flight. He later came on to say that we were about to land and that the reason for the emergency landing was that we had a malfunctioning flap and it was mandatory to land the aircraft.

We then proceeded down to the airport and he told us that we were going to use the entire length of the runway as to not put stress on the aircraft. We were told to go into the brace position with our hands on the seats in front of us and to be prepared for a hard landing....which came true. Once we made it to the end of the runway firetrucks came from every angle to inspect the outside of the aircraft (which turned out to be fine) they then moved the aircraft to one of the gates. We were told to stay onboard while they investigated it. They found out that a transformer under the plane had blown...and that they were going to attempt to fix it. During this process we had no power or A/C in the cabin and it was starting to burn up like a firecracker. We were then told that we could go to either Wendys or Taco Bell with a $10 meal deal. After all of that we were told that the plane was fixed and we all got back onboard only later to hear that they were going to take the plane out of service and that we needed to find another flight. Fortunately they found an aircraft for all of us....we then got on that one anticipating to go to San Jose....about 20 minutes after all of us were on the plane the captain comes on and says that the A/C is broken and that the compressor to start the engines isn't putting out enough air to start the engines. We then sat there for another hour ON THE PLANE while they tried to fix it. We were all burning up in that plane and everyone was trying to make the best of it. Once it was fixed we had to wait for Catering to bring all the meals for everyone...which took another 15 minutes. After all was said and done we finally took off for San Jose!

And think of this: Our original flight from Dallas was to leave at 1:12 Central and arrive at 2:48 Pacific.....we ended up FINALLY leaving Dallas (for the 2nd time) at 5:45pm Central and we didn't make it into San Jose until 7:20 Pacifc.

That was most definitely the most annoying traveling day of my life. And I know some of you are thinking to yourself "damn, he didn't die" Well I am still here motha fuckas :-)...just about 3 pounds lighter from all the sweat.

John C. Dvorak can fucking die.
As much as he hates Macs, I am going to shove an iSight up his ass if he continues with his crap-ass jokes. Why can't he admit that he is wrong. He said Apple was "over" in 1998. Fucking Idiot.

I want this to get on the Feedster Gnomedex roll....so here I go with some of the keywords: Chris Pirillo, Gnomedex, Lockergnome, Des Moines, Lori Lockwood, Polk Country Convention Center, Microsoft, Savery.

You should see all the Macintosh users in the center, they are fucking about to walk out....actually, one already did. Bravo.

Jennifer and I look ghetto-fabulous :-D

Guess who is Mr. Gnomedex this year?! Yah Baby!

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This was thursday night....security finally came along and kicked me out of the lobby because they thought I dind't have anything on under the robe :-)

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And here is one last picture.....This is MRS. GNOMEDEX. She is also one of our newest workers with Lockergnome, Jennifer :-D

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Beth is my new best friend at Gnomedex....I am going to get major hits from her and I've got my site looking like shit. I need to fix my sidebar and such....AND I can't upload my lockergnome webcam picture right now because we've had some troubles with the server this morning....but it'll be fixed soon enough...maybe. First I need to remember the Lockergnome FTP password, arg.

The convention so far has been great. You can check out pictures that I've taken over at The Gnomedex Moblog. And I've got more pictures coming from: Cheyenne, Jason D., and numerous other people...I can't wait to get the picture of me in the hotel's bath-robe that was in our room. OH YAH! I got a Suite! We've got a few rooms, a kitchen....a whole bunch of shit this year :-) Next year I'm going for a pimp suite. I got upgraded to First Class on my 2nd flight yesterday AND a nice man gave me a free upgrade to First Class on any flight I have in the future....so I am going to use it on my San Jose to Chicago flight :-)

Okay, back to listening to the speakers....and the food is coming up soon! Must eat! Oh yah! Did I mention there are WAY more Mac geeks here in year...I feel at home now. :'(

Oh, and I've got a new friend from Paypal, Dave McClure is awesome....extremely funny and fun. He gave me a Paypal San Francisco Developer Conference shirt....pretty cool if you ask me :-D And I got my Gnoemdex 3 shirt, and GnomeDomains so far...but there are more to come for sure...bwwahaha.

[ Name ] sam
[ Nicknames ] redwood
[ Born ] december 27th 1986
[ Born in ] virginia beach virginia
[ Resides in ] virginia beach virginia
[ Good student ] everyone can be, but like the rest of the youth of america, i don't apply it
[ Eyes ] green
[ Hair ] dirty blonde
[ Shoe size ] 13

Last time you...
[ Had a nightmare ] nightmare? dont usually have those
[ Dyed your hair ] like, 7th grade
[ Brushed your hair ] haha, today at the beach
[ Washed your hair ] about 2 hours ago
[ Checked your e-mail ] it auto-checks every minute
[ Cried ] no....clue....
[ Called someone ] like an hour ago...holly
[ Smiled ] no clue
[ Laughed ] right now watching conan

Do You ..
[ Smoke? ] never have
[ Do drugs??] never have
[ Drink? ] no comment
[ Have sex? ] not yet
[ Sleep with stuffed animals? ] no m'am
[ Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ] yes :-)
[ Have a dream that keeps coming back? ] i still have dreams from when i was like 5
[ Play an instrument? ] no
[ Believe there is life on other planets? ] sure
[ Remember your first love? ] of course, i still talk to her
[ Read the newspaper? ] sometimes when friends are in it
[ Have any gay or lesbian friends? ] haha, i am in landstown high drama, of course
[ Consider love a mistake? ] hell no
[ Like the taste of alcohol? ] personally, yes
[ Believe in God? ] i dunno yet
[ Pray? ] sometimes
[ Go to church? ] i've been thinking about going
[ Have any secrets? ] haha, many that even A.T. doesn't even know
[ Have any pets ] three cats, i hate them...die
[ Wear hats? ] beanies
[ Have any piercings? ] wish
[ Have any tattoos? ] wish
[ Have an obsession? ] oreo klondikes!
[ Have a secret crush? ] no
[ Collect anything? ]  pictures
[ Have a best friend? ] sometimes i wonder but yes...i do. he knows.
[ Like your handwriting? ] could be better
[ Have any bad habits? ] biting my nails
[ Care about looks? ] of course
[ Boy/girlfriend's looks? ] i love my girlfriend just the way she is (looks good)
[ Believe in witches? ] if we are talking about my oracle teacher, yes.
[ Believe in Satan? ] if we are talking about my english teacher, yes.
[ Believe in ghosts?] if we are talking about john davenport, yes,

Current:
[ Dress ] board shorts
[ Mood ] not tired
[ Music ] Brooks and Dunn - Red Dirt Road
[ Taste ] Topicana
[ Hair ] ghetto-fabulous ;-)
[ Annoyance ] cramp in leg
[ Smell ] speed stick regular
[ Thing?] mac powerbook
[ Book ] does my powerbook count?
[ Refreshment ] topicana
[ Worry ] leaving for 29 days
[ Favorite Celebrity ] jennifer garner

Favorite:
[ Food ] oreo klondikes
[ Color ] red
[ CD ] my california mix
[ Shoes ] flip flops - reef, bitch
[ Candy ] slurpee's!! they count as candy, don't they?
[ Animal ] dog, anything.
[ TV Show ] big brother
[ Movie ] 2 fast 2 furious
[ Song ] it is always changing....
[ Vegetable ] funny...
[ Fruit ] honey dew!!!
[ Cartoon ] the oblongs, still.

Who Do You Want To:
[ Kill ] Holly's sister
[ Slap ] Holly's ass
[ Tickle ] Holly
[ Talk To ] Holly
[ Kiss ] Holly

I think I have A.D.D.
No, I haven't gone to any doctor but I think I do..haha.
Ask any of my friends...for me to stay on topic is like...ummm...yah
OOOO...look at that butterfly.
I don't like butter though, it makes your ass bigger....and I'm happy with mine.

Jeez, I have 3 full days left and then that is it....I've got so much to get done in these days to come. Monday I'm going to spend on the beach with Holly, tuesday I've got a dentist appointment and I will pack virtually everything that day, and finally on wednesday I'm spending all day with Holly just hanging out. We're gonna hook up with Zack and then go over to this friend of Holly and I, Lindsey. I personally haven't seen her in over 2 years and I'm flipping out...I can't wait to see her again.

It is just not hitting me how much needs to be done and I think about all the people I wanted to hang out with before I leave and now I won't be able to because the time is just not there. Holly is my biggest priority right now and nothing is going to get attention off of her in the final days I have here. I mean, I am more intimate with this person than anyone else right now....she knows everything about me and now I won't be able to see her, to touch her, to kiss her for 28 days. That is fucking crazy...you know that correct? Pictures and the phone are the only things I have....I get mad just thinking about this.

Erm, what else is there to talk about? Today was Holly's mom's birthday and I gave her a Blue's Clues card :-) It says "Now You're Two!" I crossed out "two" and put in her real age :-) It's a pimp card, what can I say? We cleaned her car today for the special day. The whole family loves the CD I burned for Holly....it is part of my going away gifts I have for her.

Any other news? Hmmm...not really. There is just so much to do!