1 your favourite fruit is lemon
2 when ever you see lemons or hear it mentioned you start singing the song without realizing it
3 you dress as Macphisto, the fly, or one of the guys for halloween
4 you write your favourite lyrics on ANYTHING
5 you buy more than one calendar for the same year
6 you refer to songs by their initials
7 you can relate anything anyone says back to U2
8 BONO is your GOD
9 You make it clear your Irish, even though it may be only slight in your family
10 you but socks that have the irish flag on them
11 you buy every poster you see even though you've run out of room on your walls.
12 you paint a room blue just so you can have YOUR BLUE ROOM
13 You talk more about the band than you do anything else even if people find it annoying
14 you buy things with lemons on them i.e lamps, sheets, towels
15 you feel patriotic on st pattys day, even if your not irish
16 you sit out in the rain at 2 am just so you can get tickets that go on sale at 8am.
17 you buy any pair of glasses that you think Bono would wear
18 you buy the same brand of colonge the guys wear and spray it on everything
19 You have to have DAILY smutt or youll go crazy
20 your wardrobe consists of nothing but U2 shirts.
21 you met your soulmate in the 'grapevine' section of 'propaganda.'
22 you refer to yourself as a Bonoist OUTSIDE of the zoo.
23 you but a 15 dollar CD just for that one U2 song you dont have.
24 you watch an entire movie just hear 2 seconds of a U2 song that was featured in it.
25 for your birthday you want a lemon flavoured cake
26 you use U2 lyrics in conversation even if the other person has no idea where you got it from
27 you celebrate all of their birthdays including friends and families birthdays
28 you record every show they have appeared on even though it may have been only for 3 seconds.
29 when you freak out and go totally nuts for the next 2hrs just because someone mentioned U2 on the tv
30 when your friends stop asking why you're smiling dreamingly in the middle of a history lesson -they already know who you're thinking of
31 when you get angry and start shouting at the tv because someone else won the grammy or whatever award it is
32 when your family is talking about sending you to a shrink
33 You always get EXTREMLY pissed when someone calls BONO BONE-O. And then you correct them even if you dont know that person.
34 You always figure out a way to incorporate U2 into your school reports, even if has NOTHING to do with music.
35 when everyone OUTSIDE of the zoo call you by your screen name even if it isnt your REAL name.
36 when you have over 2ooo pictures of U2, and its still not enough!
37 You use up a whole role of film just taking pictures of their houses
38 You always defend U2 when someone says something bad about them even if you dont know the person.
39 you use comments like "OH MY LEMON" or "OH MY BONO" outside of the zoo even when people have NO idea what you mean. or they do know what you mean because you ve explained it to them so many times.
40 when talking about U2 you refer to them as "The Guys" instead of U2.
41 any actor or artist that mentions they like U2 are instantly on your "Favourites" list even if you have NEVER heard of them before
42, methinks, have U2 stuff on the wall, on your books, on your phone and on your mind 24/7
43, begin to think you hear the words U2 or Bono in things people say to you
44, stalk people in the street who look like U2
45, send them a Christmas card
46, buy a lemon just to look at it and laugh
47, constantly quote Bono EVERY DAY until your friends ask if he's possessed you (answer, I wish!)
48, come up with a song for any occasion, start singing it and continue even through the weird looks
49, have nightmares about a - oh, I can't write this, I'll have to whisper - b-a-n-d-s-p-l-i-t-u-p. AAAGHHHH!!!!!!
50, feel constantly embarrassed that you're saying things that make perfect sense to you (eg. Everything You Know Is Wrong) but mystify everyone else
51, have at least 3 U2 e-mail addresses
52, feel that everyone who likes U2 is an instant friend and that a shared love is a basis for long conversation, lifelong friendship and (that cute guy in my English class) possible marriage
53, read books on U2, about U2, mentioning U2 in passing or even just when the lead character listens to them
54, spend your time in Temple Bar (Dublin) record shops searching for rare B-sides
55, know every lyric ever written
56, drag your friends/family for lunch in the Clarence
57, hang out the window of Dublin buses hoping you just might catch a tiny glimpse so you can die happy
58, when you die happy, want U2 played at your funeral
59 when you craft a shiny silver lemon for the top of your xmas tree
60 when you nick a mirror ball bauball off said xmas tree and display it proudly year round.
61 when everyone at your uni/school/work can finish your u2 sentences for you since theyve heard it all so much
62 when you want to kill your friends hubby because he sat next to bono on a plane once and didnt even talk to him
63 when you want to kill your friends hubby because after hed sat next to bono he desribed him as "this mass of hair and sunglasses with a little pair of legs sticking out of a leather jacket" and he also said he had a huge nose. grrr
64, You're already planning your next (yet-to-be-announced) concert. You've even got your place staked out in front of HMV to queue.
65, You cannot bear to have your albums out of order, and give out to your friends when they fail to replace them in said order.
66, Anything even remotely clever you say, you are greeted with “Is that a Bonoism?”
67, Actually, your friends all know the term Bonoism. That’s a success at least.
68, You’ve written U2-inspired stories. And poems. And a failed screenplay. (Oh come on. You know we all wanna see “Elevation: The Movie”.
69, You’ve suffered through Tomb Raider just because of U2.
70, You own any of the following: a beanie hat, a gold lame jacket, tight leather pants, lavender glasses, a cowboy hat and/or a sarong.
71, Your ambition is to ride a Harley. Or you do ride a Harley, and your ambition is to be Larry.
72, You’ve taken up any instrument in the hopes of “becoming” Edge/Adam/Larry/ Bono.
73, You’re planning on seeing Gangs of New York because you read somewhere that Bono sings “Baidin Fheilimi” in it. And you don’t wanna miss that.
74, You’ve recorded the Love Day/Sanitation Commissioner Simpsons episode because U2 sing the Garbageman song in it. (The sanitation folks, are jolly friendly blokes, courteous and easy-going. They’ll mop you when you’re overflowing, and tell you when your ass is show-ing…)
75, You have a spoon collection.
76, You have EVERY U2 song ever recorded. EVERY.
77, You have memorised their videos. As in every moment, every movement, every little bit of performance. And you love it.
78,You want a mirrorball lemon parked outside your house.
79, You will watch 80s shows in the hopes… just in the hopes…
80, You count the days/hours/minutes til album/single releases.
81, You called your dog/cat/hamster/goldfish/Burmese python Bono.
82, You watched the Million Dollar Hotel straight through from beginning to end. You liked it. Nuff said.
83, Your friends call you Ali.
84, Stranger again, they call you Bono.
85, You interrupt U2-related conversations, even if the people are perfect strangers. (I mean in real life, not Zoo).
86, You pine away on days when you don’t see the Zoo.
87, Your first act on getting home from school is logging on.
88, Whenever you see the word Achtung in your German textbook, you have to write/say “Baby”.
89, You want a personal Joshua Tree in your front garden.
90. You walk around singing U2 songs all day long and people start to follow you around asking you to "sing that Bloody Sunday song I heard you singing yesterday" and they haven't left you alone for months...
91. You hear voices in your head and they sound like Bono
92. Everything you put in those Mad-Lib things is U2-related
93. You can't go 10 minutes without finding a U2 refernce in whatever you're doing
94. You nearly kill anyone who "insults the lemon" (i.e. dropping lemons, refusing to bow down to the lemon on top of your CD tower)
95. You plan everything out for U2's next tour (i.e. the tent you'll bring to get good seats...you make a MacPhisto outfit to wear to the shows you're going to....) and they haven't even put out a new album yet
96. You start to come up with lots of ideas for "you know you're obsessed with U2 when..."
97. You use the school/work computers to check up on the Zoo, though you just did 5 minutes ago...
98. You're listing to your CD player and people ask you "What album are you listing to?"
99. You listen to U2 every single day... and you're thinking you could set a world record
