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holidays smolidays. .. before i begin. i would like to start off with a THANKS to a miss frances pererra for that sweet comment. aww. you like to read my xanga probably cuz i could spell good and write smart stuffs. ahaha. which translates to, i am able to convey my thoughts and opinions while adding a bit of kristine-ery on the side... all doing it with the eloquence and grace of uhmm. a great great princess. hahah. ok well anyhow.. . i wasnt gonna write anything anytime soon but your comment gave me enough conviction to write. so here goes. holidays... WHY do we celebrate them. i mean you get a day off for nothing but after much thought and analysis me and cousin joyce [mostly joyce] broke down the true meaning of the holidays. starting with thanksgiving... "Years ago our forefathers came here, and the natives came out to them and treated them like kings and gods, and we raped, murdered and killed them to find gold. So now we're thanking them for their land. Happy Thanksgiving." YAY!!! christmas. yesSs christmas is a great holiday [one of my favorites]. you get presents and get to give them to the people you like...like a way of saying thanks for bringing me home. or driving me here. or doing this for me... you get the idea. EVERYONE celebrates christmas and not to mention gets a long ass break from school. which all boils down to the CHRISTIAN holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus. so to all you budhists, indians, muslims out there. whats your reason for christmas?... hehe your buddha was born on christmas too . next on the list. valentines day, St. Valentine's day to be precise. a day to exchange love tokens to the object of your affection. BUT. did anyone really care about ST. valentine. i mean. they dont have a saint paul's day or a saint luke's day. what makes SAINT valentine so especial...? using the name saint valentine was all a ploy to divert everyone's attention from the fact that its a card company holiday and that everyone was buying it up; just trying to give the holiday a little more importance i guess. next on the list is St. Patrick's Day... the day you wear the putrid color green which resemble grass stains on clean pristine WHITE shoes... yes. pinch me mother effer cuz im not wearing green [nor do i ever wear green on the rest of the 364 days of the dam year]. and in joyce's words pinch me bitch. i'll kick you back. that's crap. no gifts. no nothing. if anything we should get a day off for wearing that grosteque compilation of blue and yellow. you dont even get a day off. thats crap. green means GO. or infection... either or. anything else doesnt deem as important. .. Then. there's Easter. One of Catholicism's most important holidays, which we ALL get off even though the rest of the world isnt christian or catholic. so much for the unbiased government. i mean if they were unbiased we'd get like. .. uhmm Hindu day off. or something. But anyhow lets celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection by PAINTING and hiding EGGS of all things and filling ourselves with chocolate. and oh yea, lets let a friggin RABBIT be its mascot. cuz Jesus loved rabbits. right. ... and MAY day... ahahah need i say MORE. gay. no more criticism needed. and lets add on to DUMB may holidays. like Mother's day which is solely a card company holiday. if people really wanted to give thanks and gratitude to their womans they would do it any day of the dam year, right... moving on. June with its flag day. since its not publicized and have stupid rules or anything like pinching you if you dont wear green. so no putdowns for flag day. ..then fathers day [see the mother's day criticism]. july with one of the most legitimate national holidays with Fourth of July. independence day, fireworks, barbeques. YAY... august is just hotTtTt. and even if there WERE holidays we wouldnt want to celebrate them cuz no one would be outside to celebrate. so good job card company strategery. no one would buy your stinkin cards in friggin HOT butt stickin to anything plastic kinda hot. ok. september, labor day, a day to commemorate the working people. well. i guess. ..BUT if they really wanted to thank the working people they'd [whoever THEY is... hehe the MAN] would cut down taxes. like that FICA tax that took the biggest chunk of your paycheck. then the working people would really feel the gratitude...and the MAN could take back their dam holiday. then there's deary's birthday, which translates into Halloween. All hollows eve, when children get to dress up as ghosts, witches, or in me and lenas case, whores, and dirty cops. haha. anyhow...little do these oblivious little effers know that this is really a pagan holiday that commemorated ghosts and monsters and any definition of evil. people stayed in their houses surrounding themselves with jack-o-lanterns trying to ward off evil spirits from stealing their souls. and the dressing up was so that people would blend with the undead and live to see the next day. .. so lets send our precious little children out on the streets dressed in disguises so that evil spirits wont steal their itsy bitsy souls. and now... so now... we're back to november... and that my friends. are what these so called holidays mean. well to me at least. and to cousin joyce too cuz she she helped me in deriving the essential definition. OH. and tomorrow, let me remind you, is the victoria secret watchamabob. the sexiest night on non-cable television. and TODAY. i drove EVERYWHERE. from the 87 to the 85. to the 280 heading towards the 680 and back. wooohoo im a speed racing. mother devil. mahaha the end.
