Has anyone else noticed how hard it is to write a poem about trees? What really is there to be said about trees? What there is to be said isn't easily described, or doesn't really do matters justice. I have been making great many attempts at writing a poem about such and have far from succeeded, and hence have essentially given up. The fact that I am congested beyond imagination isn't really helping matters, either.
I have never been a pleasant sick person. I become whiney, grumpy, snively, clingy, and utterly annoying. By the time I declare myself sick enough to be bed ridden, I am so sick that I can't even care for myself. In addition to not admitting I am sick soon enough, I declare myself healthy again sooner than I am. So this morning at one a.m. I was awake, trying to tell myself that I despite the fact I couldn't breath, I was healthy once more. I was also half watching The Man in the Iron Mask and the iron mask was semi creeping me out. So I'm sitting there, and all of a sudden I am drowning in a wave of paranoia/panic/fear/nausea. So I mentally smack myself, saying that sick and semi creepy movie things don't go togther, and I sent myself off to bed. Unfortunately, I was in a less than pleasant mind set which ended up with me having nightmares all night, all involving friends/family/people I'm close to dying, killing themselves, me, or another one of the people, or hating me for unknown reasons. Writing that all out, it's no wonder I was in a mad mood all day. Off to try to find some way to cheer myself up.
I am not a political person. Crissakes, I am too young to be a political person! Mind you, my interest in the Nick Berg video has nothing to do with it's political orientation. I just have to wonder what kind of sick, sad, twisted world we live in when people are crashing servers, practically tripping over one another to watch a man be decapitated! And I also cannot believe that some people can feel that the death of this one man--while certainly not right--is so much worse than what has been done to Iraqi prisoners! Live with the shame or die with the pain? Today more so than most days, human beings disgust me.
Woohoo!. And More Woohoo!
Lately it seems everyone is depressed, grumpy, stressed, or just plain bitchy. I get so tired of all the "no offence, but fuck off" type statements. No offence to you, but fuck off yourself! Mind you the silent fuck offs are just as bad, maybe worse. Worst of all is that other people being in a bad mood frequently puts me off my mood, and I have been a grouch most of the day. Sometimes I don't know why I put up with this shit.
Somedays it feels like the weight of the world is sitting on the pit of your stomach, and the smallest things make you want to just break down and cry. Today was one of those days.