February 2004
A Hui Muslim man in Xining's night food market concentrates as he paints spices onto flaming skewers of lamb.
February 1st, 2004 - To Xiahe
I got to the bus station just before 7:30 and there was a 7:30 bus to Xiahe. Almost empty at first- just a Japanese pro photog, a Chinese couple (amateur photogs) and me. On the way out of town, though, we picked up a huge load of Hui headed for Linxia. It was snowing seriously once we were out of Lanzhou and kept it up through Linxia but not all the way to Xiahe, which only looked mildly dusted. The trip was really slow- we arrived after 3 p.m. and I've recently done the same trip in four and a half hours, so I know just how slow that was. Our lunch break was only twenty minutes, it's not like we wasted time. It was just bad road conditions.
In Xiahe the Tibetan Overseas Hotel had almost nothing left- and that was expensive. So I ended up at Tara. I'm sharing a room with a French couple, senior citizens with poor English. But the room is pretty nice, Tara has done some remodeling since I stayed here last. I went to the Gesar restaurant and waited a very long time for a little food, then chatted more with two super interesting fellow Tara stayers- Chris is doing his dissertation and living in Xiahe to do it- he's on a Fullbright. The other guy is a German, Xaver, doing his dissertation on Tibetan contemporary literature and living in Lhasa, just down here for some books he can't get in the Lhasa area. Apparently Amdo is the hotbed for publishing in Tibetan. They're both incredibly interesting guys. I've seen Chris before- in my guesthouse on Landa campus. Apparently he taught some guest lectures at Yuzhong in Anthropology.
I went out walking and on the street I met three Tibetan women- a young woman who'd been to India who spoke some English, her sister-in-law and her mother. They took me to her sister's house, a snug and clean place with a brick floor, raised bed platform with the fire heating the floor of it, and a separate kitchen room. They offered me a huge bowl of tsampa that I mixed up myself by hand (my first time, Karjam always does it for me). It was collectively the largest amount of tsampa I've ever eaten at one time. I just loved the house, though. That's all I'd need as a local base to be happy, myself.
When I got back to Tara Guesthouse I told everyone there was a traditional show at the red hat monastery so we all went there. The show was the life of some famous Buddhist figure, and we couldn't really understand much. It was very stylized. Even though Xaver speaks Tibetan, he speaks Lhasa Tibetan so he said he couldn't understand anything. After the show we went to Kailash Restaurant and I waited forever to eat some noodles.
February 2nd, 2004
I woke by 7:30 (some hint of light in the sky) and did the prayer wheel circuit. I didn't get many stares, but a few double-takes. Most people don't notice I am a foreigner at first. If it wasn't for the glasses, people might almost think I was an odd-looking Tibetan. When spinning the prayer wheels sometimes I was in the front of a group- heaving the big wooden wheels into motion for so long I started to think I should slow down and let someone pass me, but always some speed demon would come along and save me when my shoulder and arm really started to get tired. Everything was very quiet as the day brightened except for murmured prayers and the creaking of the prayer wheels as they turned. At the end of the circuit I saw the Japanese photographer from the bus (he speaks English and also speaks Lhasa Tibetan, which he studied for six months in Dharamasala).
The Japanese photographer and I wandered around together for a little bit, but photos took us in separate directions until we weren't together anymore. He is a very mellow photographer, very polite. But the Chinese amateurs- ugh! They are really getting me angry! They are so rude! Big groups of them travel in a pack, and if one 'finds' a photo opportunity (which he will -not- ask permission to take) then the rest of his group all rush over, and they all get their big lenses right up in the faces of the bewildered Tibetan photo subject. Dressed like this people react to me almost as to another Tibetan, and I almost don't want to pull my camera out of my coat front for fear of changing the perception of me as a sort of insider back to one of 'them'. These days I tend to use closer lenses, my preferred lens being my 50 mm prime, which gives me a different look from all these amateurs who are all using huge lenses. The Japanese photographer is actually using a 28mm as his main lens.
I was at this one courtyard open area near the rear of the main temple hall, inside the temple walls where people sometimes congregate, and they were. The Chinese photographers had just about driven me up the wall, and I was about to move on to a different place when I noticed monks preparing this pavilion like building. They were wrapping the pillars in silk, and stringing up sacred hangings, etc. Then the big high monks in the big shouldered fancy get-ups appeared and last a high lama was escorted in, while they were waiting for the high lama they did some debating and there were in general a really large number of monks there- a couple hundred perhaps. The lama was in a different style hat- but yellow and peaky, and he sat in a chair above everyone else and read from a holy text. During the reading I mostly sat and listened, though I did also take a few photos. A the end I got some hopefully great shots of the group leaving.
I went window-shopping for the stuff I'll need to get married. Good belts- earrings- coral necklaces. I saw one coral necklace that the starting asking price was 30,000 Yuan!!! Fuck! How can I afford to get married in June? The antique real silver belts were more than 1,000 without the side dangling things. The fakey ones weren't too expensive, though. The earrings are on metal hoops and hooks that are too big to fit in my ears.
I went to Gesar three times to eat different things. I didn't have anything better to do. After Chris and Xaver woke up (after 2:00) I talked to them some and eventually took a nap. In the evening I went out with Chris and this guy Max and just nibbled a bit as I'd already eaten. I keep trying to call Gompa, our friend in Xiahe, so often that I am now good friends with the telephone booth guy, but his phone is off, which means he's out of town. I feel asleep not much after 9:00.
February 3rd, 2004 Unveiling the Grand Thanka
I woke up and did a quick circuit of the prayer wheels (quick is still more than an hour). I bought some bread and rushed to the hillside where the ceremony to unveil the giant thanka (religious painting) would take place- but it wasn't starting yet. When it did I was almost caught off guard- but I got shots of the monks hefting the huge yellow roll of the thanka up the hillside. Shots of the unveiling weren't amazing, the sun being behind the hill and all of us looking right towards the hill. The yellow gold drapery over the thanka's Buddha image withdrew slowly up and to the sides to the accompaniment of loud drumming and the din of gongs until the Buddha's beatific smile shone across all the assembled people. It was a great moment, marred unfortunately by two guys in an orange tiger outfit with a heavy (paper mache?) head. They were in charge of keeping the crowd back and were much too enthusiastic. At one point they kicked me! People were scared, they were that rough, and kept back, but then the guys in the tiger just decided to push us back still more. It was comical in a way, but the people in the rear of the crowd weren't moving as fast as those of us in the front trying to avoid the tiger's attack- so it got really dangerous. When the ceremony of unveiling was done, they allowed everyone to rush up to the base of the thanka (I did, too) and press our heads against the wall there (some did prostrations) and throw a silk prayer scarf (I was prepared for that, too) onto the base of the display.
At the end of the unveiling I spotted Nanda (Fernanda) who I know from reputation and have seen her photo before. She's the one living with Jinpa and doing post-doc work on conflict resolution among Amdo Tibetan Nomads. Soon I spotted Jinpa (who I've met twice before and did stay over at my place in the fall). I waited around to go eat with them - both of my cameras were out of batteries in the cold- but they took too long and I gave up, came back, bought batteries (one Lithium battery cost me 55 Yuan!), ate yogurt (during the entire process of which a beggar child tugged insistently on my sleeve) took motion shots of spinning prayer wheels with my tripod, then took a short nap.
In the afternoon Nanda switched to Tara and I sat around with her, Chris, Xaver, this guy Mathew who is -so- similar in looks, mannerisms, everything to Matt W. and Dan. We had dinner together, too. Dan's 22 and very enthusiastic about living in China. The rest of the group was so knowledgeable, though. It was amazing. Stimulating and rollicking conversation that -never- has to resort to ordinary topics like sex to be enjoyable.
February 4th, 2004 Cham Dances
This morning I got up and did my round of the prayer wheels and it was the most perfect I've ever done them. I didn't miss -one- wheel. I didn't turn the wrong way, or skip anything. It was amazing. All the temples you can circle around while doing the pilgrim's path were open. One important one has a famous gold stupa roof, and I followed the other circling people inside (Labrang hates for foreigners to go anywhere without paying, regardless of whether the person is a Buddhist or not) then up a lot of stairs all the way to the roof, circled around it, then circled around the next lower level, then one more below that, then around the interior of the temple which was gorgeous with great paintings on the walls. Once I thought I might have missed a prayer wheel, but that wheel was on a small building you circle around, so I just circled it twice. When I finished I had yogurt at Gesar with my French roommates (who are here for the second time for this ceremony, but the last time was in 1990!). They gave me some of their tea back at our room- that was a mistake. As soon as I got in position to take photos of the Cham dances my bladder started saying "time to pee".
I was ready for photos at 9:45, and things were supposed to get rolling at 10:30. Ha! Not even! The space was outlined in white chalk, and I was about four people back (later pushed to being the sixth person back) and standing. I was therefore out of reach of the orange tiger, and the children armed with sticks (whose bright idea was that?!?) who were making sure we didn't go inside the white lines. Eventually they required all of us to sit down, which at first was kind of a relief, standing in a close and pressing crowd is really difficult- much more work than standing on your own. Unfortunately sitting down made things much worse for photography. The high lama came out to his special chair on the balcony of the main prayer hall (in front of which the dances were to be held) but still we waited. Things started around 1:00! (Oh my poor bladder). By that time I was fairly chummy with my immediate neighbors, especially a couple of old women who felt I was there to be a prop for them to rest on. Of course the bright overhead sunlight was not exactly good for photos. I finally switched to my wide angle lens (17-35mm) and periodically jack-in-the-boxed to take a photo of the whole scene before the pelting of pebbles and sunflower seeds from those behind me got too heavy. Finally, about five hours after I arrived a girl (maybe eight) nearby me started fretting and eventually crying. It was undoubtedly bladder pressure in her case, too. She looked really worried. I decided to leave with them, letting them part the tightly packed crowd. I had spent most of the five hours either squatting or kneeling (to be a bit higher than the people in front) and my knees were so stiff I tottered rather than walked to the guesthouse. I took time for lunch at Gesar, too and went back to the dances around 4:00. The dancing was still going on, very slow and ritualized- raise an arm and one foot, then hop/turn a bit on the foot still on the ground, gesture with a knife, that was about it. Just different costumes and masks. The costumes were very elaborate, especially compared with the robes the monks normally wear. They had harnesses and brocade, lacquered masks, fringed wide brimmed hats, and bright silks. The dancing was accompanied by a small army of monks beating drums and clashing cymbals, plus at critical junctures, horns either short or longgggg.
When everything ended I came back to Tara, then checked the bus times to Maqu. 6:40 or 7:10, which seems pretty close together. Then I bought a belt. It had large silver (not real silver) coins sewed onto a wide strip of black leather. I wanted Jinpa to help me buy my belt (bargain) but he wasn't around and I felt so plain- really, even people who have no other stuff have a belt, at least the cheap kind I just bought.
I had an extremely hot shower (pure hot water, I think) in the evening after my dinner, then had a second dinner with the crew from the previous evening. They are all so interesting.
February 5th, 2004 --To Maqu, Again.
I left for Maqu really early in the morning- or I would have if the 6:40 bus hadn't waited around till 7:20 to make sure it got all those 7:10 passengers, too. We were supposed to stop in Hezuo for 40 minutes, but didn't leave for an hour and twenty. The bus ride was uneventful. I got two seats to myself almost he whole time, which meant I didn't need my camera bag on my lap wedged between me and the seat in front of me, which is the normal state of affairs. We arrived in Maqu around 3:30 and I debated hitching to Ahwencang. I walked out to kilometer marker 3 and waited for vehicles to hail, no luck until one took me to the next intersection. I had not realized the next intersection was so close by, just shy of kilometer 7. I waited out there without luck, either. Other than that mistaken ride I had two vehicles stop, but neither was going very close to Ahwencang. Eventually I got too cold (the wind was blowing more than just briskly) and started walking back to Maqu. At kilometer 5 I got a ride on the back of a motorcycle.
In Maqu I checked into the Yellow River Hotel, went and found dinner and asked a bunch of people when the bus was leaving for Ahwencang. People told me everything from 8 to noon. And as for how to catch it- just wait by the side of the road. But how do I know which is the Ahwencang bus? I don't even know how to write 'Ah' or 'cang' in Chinese!
February 6th -- Big Scary Dog
I wanted to find the bus station for local buses, so I got in a bicycle trishaw, but he said the Ahwencang bus didn't have a spot it started from and told me to wait at the main intersection in town (and for that one minute ride, asked for 2 Yuan!). I'd just started waiting when this English teacher friend from 2002 showed up. A different bus he was going to take was going to the intersection about 15 kms from Ahwencang. Not knowing how long I'd have to wait for the Ahwencang bus, I decided to take the bus with him. On the bus the teacher told me everyone put me clothes, attitude and destination together and said "Her husband is Tibetan." We were talking and he asked me when I'd get married. I told him "Well, we don't have that much money so the real problem is..." and he supplied the answer "the coral".
At the intersection I started walking but shortly a dog from a tent near the road came to attack me. Everyone says be careful of the dogs- and this big one (larger than a Husky, head about to my waist) was slathering at the mouth, had positioned himself higher than me by about two feet (the road cuts into the earth on one side) and was gearing up to jump on me as he growled ferociously. I didn't know what to do- I had a rock in my hand, but to throw or not, I wasn't decided. Would it only make him mad? Would I have time to get another rock if he charged after I threw? Fortunately a nomad woman came sprinting to my rescue, answering the rock question with screams and hard slung stones. I was near crying- I hate and am afraid of dogs as it is. She demonstrated proper throwing technique (side armed) and walked with me as I calmed down, obviously worrying about her next neighbor's dogs. She left me before then, though, with lots more admonishments to throw hard. I walked past five dog equipped camps (mumbling over and over "let sleeping dogs lie, let sleeping dogs lie") before I got a ride in the back of a pick-up truck. That ended five kilometers or so later, and I trudged a deal farther before I got a motorcycle ride. That was tough, my camera bag was heavy, and my lower back especially ached with every bump.
I arrived at Shyubuuk's but everyone was gone except for Dorsae. Happily Karjam and his mom returned as I was setting out to find them. That was especially fortunate because my bag had to stay with me, Dorsae didn't have the key to his dad or grandma's place, and didn't think it was safe for me to leave my bag in his bedroom (which is not locked). Karjam's mom welcomed me by giving me a drink of some special liquid a lama gave her, which I accepted in my cupped hand, drank, then rubbed the remaining liquid onto the top of my head.
Karjam and I started to the temple, but then he could see everything had ended, so we didn't go and just came back home and looked through the presents I had brought- things like iron wool, a couple spoons, safety-pins, and more presentish stuff like a small thermos for Karjam's dad and face washing stuff for Solla.
I sank back into the routine of feeding the fire and doing such chores as appeared obviously to me, like hauling water from the well. Karjam's mom made dinner, straight on noodles and meat. The electricity was out and the light was failing, so it was tough to avoid meat in my bowl. Actually, honestly, it's impossible because of all the tiny pieces, boiled blood and what not. But I was trying to avoid actually needing to chew on a piece of meat. I had two small bowls and managed to dump most of my meat into Karjam's bowl and leave the rest outside where I know the grey tabby cat will find it.
Then I went to Shyubuuk's and Hlamo was preparing a special meal because I was back. I knelt down to help chop and next thing I knew they were saying "cook it outside as it'll smell up the house." I responded with "Hlamo is cooking", but really I did almost everything, including judging how much spices and when it was done. There were two batches of stir-fry. One meat and cauliflower, one meat and green spicy peppers. I ate the veggies and everyone else mostly ate meat.
Darko and his wife and one of his kids arrived during the meal and went to Karjam's parents house, where we entertained them. The five year old girl is enamoured with her father, and was super cute. Bites of cut meat could be accepted from mom, but she sat cuddled up to her dad and clung on his arm.
At the end of the night we got a bit stressed because sleeping places are in short supply and Shyubuuk had a cold, so Karjam thought he should be in our usual spot instead of on the (glassed in) porch. Karjam was overruled.
February 7th, 2004 --Always Visitors
We woke up before 7:00 but got out of bed around ten. Ridiculous! But Karjam just likes to talk and talk. It's nice, though, to have a man who likes to talk and has something to say. What a contrast with Gwun. We were getting ready to have leftover noodle soup for breakfast but Shyubuuk wanted Karjam (best Chinese in the family ) to accompany him to the clinic. He came back with an IV drip. I am starting to think that the clinic just gives an IV as the standard treatment. While they were gone I ate noodle and started cleaning Karjam's mom's house while she toasted a kind of grain for offering at the temple. Might be barley in the husk, but it sort of smells bad and pops after awhile, a bit like corn, except the size is only a bit more than before popping and you can still see most of the husk. So I guess it's more like it splits than it pops.
Karjam's dad, Loeree, came home from the temple with a friend who is definitely wearing nothing under his coat on the upper half of his body. Well except some necklaces and an amulet. He is grey haired and grizzled. All the hair on his head is the same length, including his beard hair, which makes it look like some shaved his entire head three weeks ago and nothing has been done since. He wields a massive gold and bronze colored hand prayer wheel, which he keeps in motion most of the time. His coast is as grizzled looking as he is, with the exposed inside of the sheepskin a dark brown grey instead of beige. His shoes are traditional skin boots, with the fleece on the inside, and they look like nothing so much as giant roughly foot shaped lumpy socks. If the ground here as rocky, they'd never hold up, cause they don't have any soles, but I suppose that walking on the grass they don't have to be so tough on the bottom to last for awhile. When he and Loeree arrived I took a dipper of water outside and slowly poured it onto their two hands so they could wash their hands and faces. Inside I found the pan of meat and knives to set out with it and poured some tea for both. Karjam found the pan of stale bread. Then Jabu's father (Karjam's mother's younger brother) came and then this relative, a young guy, who lives next to littlest sister and always smokes out of the most intricately decorated pipe ever. Pipe guy didn't stay for long, and after he left Karjam's mother's little sister came over. She must be at least ten years younger or more by looking at her. The house was really full of laughter. Brother ragged on little sister, Karjam's mom ragged on her brother and then apparently Loeree was digging at her for ragging. Grizzled man just laughed at everything. An example of a dig was when brother took a walnut, cracked it open with his teeth and teased Loeree (who is missing the majority of his teeth) that he might as well just give him all the walnuts, as Loeree'd never be able to open them.
I'm sure other people visited, too. It's hard to keep track, there are so many people in and out everyday. In the evening when a relative who is closely related to Jinpa (which means that Karjam is also related to Jinpa) was here I made a soup with garlic, potatoes and green peppers and noodles. It was really good. But cousin didn't want any and Loeree had been eating all afternoon, so just Karjam's mom, Karjam, Solla and I ate it. That meant leftovers, yay!
In the evening after dinner I studied Tibetan and read a bit of the Economist, and played solitaire.
February 8th, 2004 -- Stop Talking About Money
For once I slept until Hlamo was already up. Karjam everyday teases me that the women are supposed to get up first but I lay around with him. He also pulls me back down if I try to get up. This morning I escaped quickly and came over to haul water and sweep the floor of Karjam's mom's house.
Shortly after breakfast his mom's sister and her youngest son dropped by. I got some photos of sister's earrings which are easily the biggest, heaviest and most expensive I ever saw. Tons of coral and they fall all the way onto her collar bone.
In the late morning Karjam and I went to the temple and walked the prayer wheel route. We are having a bit of strife. But it's really my problem. I figured out that I feel pressured. I know well that the money I can earn for my life is enough for me to do what I want. To have what I want. But Karjam's all of a sudden come at me with this "We've got to help my nieces and nephews through college." Of course that's not too expensive in China, but it's this constant "We need money" thing that really bothers me. Admittedly right now money is a bit of a limiting factor. It'd be great to get married in June, but the coral. Damn, I've priced it out. If we went bare minimal we'd need more than 20,000 for the two of us for coral. Our clothes- well his family said they'd pay for his clothes and provide about eight slaughered sheep and yaks to feed the guests (and give him twenty sheep and twenty yaks) but I am not sure if they're buying him clothes includes his knife and I know it doesn't his coral. And I need my coral, more belt, belt ornaments, and earrings plus the clothes which including some animal pelt would be in the region of 6,500. Belt- at least 1,000, earrings can be fairly cheap I think and belt ornaments might not be necessary, I just don't know. Anyway, so it's probably impossible to get married this year just on financial issues. Becaues fortunately my Masters is a priority for money now. I'm so glad that Karjam agrees about that.
Anyway, so I'm feeling a bit overburdened. Being responsible for one husband is one thing, but for his whole family, esp. one this big, it's a lot. To top things off I hit my head which torqued my neck on a crossbeam when we were spinning prayer wheels. On the walk back we saw a sleeping. I said no problem, he wants to sleep, but Karjam took off my coin belt and when the dog woke up and went for us, he swung the belt in a heavy, off-putting arc that saved us from more than a thorough barking.
Back at the house Karjam's mom had announced we should go to a restaurant. I dind't know that Ahwencang had a restaurant! Anyway, after much conversation between Karjam and the woman who took orders they produced two veggie dishes, a plate of fried spicy green peppers (not a small plate, either) and a plate of sliced and fried zuccini. Both of those are veggies that mixed into other things I can enjoy but I never eat just on their own. Oh well. Rice to go with it. Shyubuuk and Karjam had meat fried noodles.
We came back and I studied Tibetan and tried to get Hlamo to drink tea, today she's sicker than Shyubuuk was yesterday.
At dinner time Hlamo was cooking, despite being so darn sick. So I took over chopping again. It was another special dinner with meat fried with garlic stems in one batch and with Chinese cabbage for the other. I managed to get a halfway decent meal out of the veggies I picked out and some rice. At Karjam's house she was busy preparing pounds and pounds of meat. Raw meat, boiled meat on the bone and dried meat. Altogether a heavy bag.
Karjam stayed a little late talking with his parents and came to bed after I'd fallen asleep. He woke me up to tell me the final word from his parents is that if he chooses me, then so he does and they like me well enogh though they don't feel they know me that well.
February 9th, 2004 - To Maqu
I think the reason for leaving today was mostly that Karjam's starting to get really ready for civilization and he's been missing out on his love affair with the shower. I bet he's dreaming of hot water and our white bathtub. Unfortunately he's got stuff to take care of in Hezuo and has to visit the hospital in Linxia one more time to fulfill his sense of responsibility to his friend. But he will just stop off there for a couple hours.
I woke up pretty early and got out stuff all ready to go. It was sad to say goodbye to Karjam's mom. She gave me a length of blue silk embroidered fabric for another traditional shirt and both her and Loeree gave me Kadak white silk scarves. Dorsae saved us a spot (singular) on the bus and Shyubuuk walked me out. He's been super sweet to me, so has Hlamo but she was too sick to get out of bed this morning.
I sat on a folding stool in the aisle until the bus got a flat. Karjam took off on the back of someones motorcycle to visit his two poor sisters and give them 100 yuan each (yes, that means I am giving it). We caught up to him later after the bus got rolling.
In Maqu we went to the same restaurant I ate at a few days ago and had an eggplant and a spinach dish, nummm!!! Then Karjam went to deliver a message for Shyubuuk and I was walking back to the hotel when I ran into that same English speaking guy from a few days ago. We walked around until he had to go help someone and I came back to the hotel to wait for Karjam.
In the evening around dark Karjam returned to the hotel room. We waited around there, talking, until Jabu came by. After talking some more Jabu, Karjam and I went to where Jangloju is staying. Another friend of Karjam's, Dorchi Rinchin, who is actually living in Lanzhou, studying English through the Trace Foundation was there, too. Jangloju is -so- cute. He has big round red cheeks, ruffled hair (short, the kind that always looks like he just ran his fingers through it the wrong way), and super pretty light brown eyes. He was just cooking up some yak and noodle soup for dinner. The guys ate noodle soup, and I had tsampa (without any sugar in it, though). As they finished eating Karsangjep, this other guy who studied with all of them in high school in Maqu, showed up. We all went to the Shouqi Hotel (second best in town) and to their nightclub type room. We were the only ones there, and we ordered a big pot of black tea and Karsangjep had beer. They all talked in Tibetan and I got bored, especially after another three guys showed up. One in 2002 I spent some time with, one I've seen around, and one with the most intriguing face. The super almond shaped eyes, a hawk-like nose, expressive lips and a tiny thin little body. I couldn't decide if he was handsome or just really strange looking.
February 10th, 2004 Back to Lanzhou
I had a terrible time getting Karjam to wake up. I'd had a very unrestful time sleeping, cause my alarm on my wristwatch doesn't work anymore, so I just checked the time all night (three times between 3:00 and 4:00), but at least I got up on time. We made it to the bus station a bit too late, the bus was so full we had to sit in the very back row. The motion was quite pronounced, almost the entire distance from Maqu to Hezuo is unpaved and Karjam was feeling a bit queasy. The bus was full of eight kids and apparently one parent with them. They were all Tibetan, but a bit too close in age to realistically all be brothers and sisters. As soon as Karjam got off in Hezuo they evidenced good English, especially one boy and girl near me. (Not the other two boys near me, though). They all attend a private school in X'ian (which means they study in Chinese). I was impressed with everything they told me about it, and it made me feel that if I am raising a kid in China there are options besides home-schooling. Their English was really good! Who knows how their parents afford it, though.
It took forever to get to Lanzhou. We stopped in Linxia by the roadside for lunch, the restaurant looked pretty dirty, and I don't trust Hui cooking in general, having had several experiences of meat ending up in my food. So, despite being hungry I skipped on that. The bathroom was cut holes in a concrete floor, very dirty, with many misses by previous users. I stood up and bent my knees slightly as I held my Tibetan coat up and around my body tightly. The view down below was horrendous, and for the privilege I had to pay 3 miao. I understand paying for the bathroom, but that was one that was too gross to not be free! Fortunately an hour later we paused and snack and drink sellers ran to the windows of our bus and I bought two hard-boiled eggs.
I took a taxi to Landa, and Karjam's bag of meat was dripping (ugh!). Michael called before I was fully in the door, which was funny and only a coincidence. We went out for dinner, and I got stuffed on spinach, tomatoes and eggs and eggplant. Numm! We also watched a DVD together after I'd started my laundry and taken a long luxurious bath. I think Michael's a bit lonely. Fortunately Woojing will be back soon, we'll see if she has sex with him, though. She is claiming she won't till he gets the divorce finalized. But, as he puts it, with how she moans, he doubts she can hold out that long.
February 11th, 2004
I started off the morning plenty early. I tried to call mom and dad, neither were home, then I called Kimberly who is moving to Sydney to start her Master's! Wow! So exciting! What a big step! Mom called me back while I was finishing typing in January's entries to this journal, and we had a nice long chat.
I watched a DVD of Michael's and he and I went to the offices to try to sort out our schedule. We found out only two things- on Tuesday mornings I will teach Academic Writing to the English Major MA students (no PhD non-major classes this term, so I am going to be on the master's students, too) and I will (probably on Thursdays) be teaching a class in "American Culture". Wow! It's a -content- class! This is SO exciting! I am psyched. I have already made a list of things I'd like to address. I will get to spend entire classes just talking about, for example, the whole "Manifest Destiny"/ go west/ new frontiers/ cowboy sort of thing- and can even tie that right into America's current space program dreams! This is going to be so much fun!
I cleaned my house, exhaustively, neatening things I'd never touched before, even washing the walls of the bathroom and climbing way back under the table/counter in my kitchen to clean parts of the floor I'd never otherwise be able to reach. Eventually Michael and I got hungry and went out to eat another nummy dinner (though maybe my late breakfast of Shin Ramyun, rice and kimchi was better). Karjam called in. Unfortunately he has two goals in Hezuo, to talk to some guy about when he was attacked by those guys (story on the August page I think) with the knives (the guys have never been caught by the cops, Karjam has never had any restitution from them) and to try to get some of his important papers back from his troupe. But the man he has to talk to about those two criminals had just gone to Maqu, so he has to wait two or three days till the guy comes back to Hezuo. I have another goal for Karjam, and that is for him to get the papers we need to get married legally (he has to get them in Hezuo because he is registered there). I sure hope he does it. If we are legally married there are more options for him and going to Korea.
I made up a new subsidiary page for this site: information about Gansu Province. Factual stuff, dry, boring... but it might be interesting to read through quickly. It's short anyway. Here is the link.
In the evening I started to watch a DVD but it was too scary to watch alone, so I didn't finish it. While I was watching Chen Sheng-mei the most junior English teaching staff member who is stuck with some secretarial type duties called me to discuss my schedule. At first she said that I'd only have eleven hours, and Jim would get the Academic writing class instead of me (which would give Jim 15 hours). So I protested. Because, if I have only eleven hours, it means I HAVE to teach the night classes and I do NOT get paid extra for doing so. So I made the point that I have eight years experience to Jim's three months and that means that teaching the English majors Academic Writing should surely be my responsibility not Jim's. And if Jim was short hours, then that was his problem. So Sheng-mei said she'd try to straighten that out.
February 12th, 2004 Thursday
I woke up and went straight to the computer. Sheng-mei called around 9:30 to say that I have everything I want. I have 14 hours of class (that's my contract, so any extra classes I teach means extra money), I have no class on Monday at all, all my classes are in the morning and the Academic Writing class is mine not Jim's to teach. Yay! The big problem now is that I have no book for the Academic Writing and the American Culture class, and both classes are THREE consecutive hours with the same students. That means I really have to have SOMETHING besides just me talking to get the class time to pass.
I worked on the Internet, answered emails, etc. and then went to Mr. Liu's office where I must have printed out 75 pages of prospective stuff to use in class. Then Michael and I went out for lunch, then downtown where I dropped off three rolls of film and bought Shin Ramyun and wheat bread (no, my friends, it's not that good, but it's better than nothing). Back at the guesthouse I just worked on making three stacks of papers- since my other classes are also going to use articles I collected mostly while I was in Korea instead of the book that is provided, since I've seen that book, and it's worse than nothing. But those classes are only two hours... so not such a big deal, really.
I finished watching yesterday's scary DVD (Identity ID with John Cusack) in the light of day, and talked to Karjam (who has taken care of half of his business and tried to sort out the marriage paperwork stuff, with no success. The office said "We don't know nothing about marriages between foreigners and Gannan people, we only do marriages between Gannan people here." And Karjam (duh!) didn't say "Why don't you give Lanzhou a call and ask them?" Why couldn't he just imagine the office had never had such a proposition before but that they obviously must be the right office?
Around 9:00 Michael stopped by to say the power would be off all day Friday. Drat! I need to be in Mr. Liu's office printing and photocopying and preparing for class! After that I really industriously used the Internet and noted down a bunch of pages I want to print, to try to get some work done, anyway. I tried to stay up late watching DVDs, but I was tired and went to bed after watching Geum Soon-ah, this much better than expected Korean movie. It really really made me laugh. It's about a former pro-volleyball player with a less than one year old child who has to rescue her husband. I know it sounds stupid, but it was tongue-in cheek enough to be really funny, it didn't take itself seriously.
February 13th, 2004 No Power
Wow, no electricity really hampers my life! I read a magazine Susan brought to Michael and tried to not get up too fast, but eventually I had to. None too hopefully I went to Mr. Liu's office, but his building didn't have electricity, in fact, our entire block (beyond the university, too) doesn't have any. So I really couldn't work. So I hassled him a bit about my crappy lighting and five year old stained gross, ripped carpet and perhaps something is going to happen about that! Yay! Not that I haven't spoken about it many times previously. After that I went to Home World where I did buy a tin box of Cadbury's chocolates for a man who receives far too many presents for his own good.
Michael and I went on a search for romantic candles and I found some pink paper to make a Valentine's card from in the back alley. After that I took my bike to the photo place, and as usual they'd screwed up, this time they only printed about 25 off each roll. They say "We only want to print the good ones." But if that was what they wanted, they couldn't print anything from most of their customers. What it is they only print two or so when I usually take three of the same subject. These are all TCN photos, in case you were wondering. Anyway, I got pissed off course. So I went off, had some squid on a stick and visited my pal at the bike shop before checking out the DVD place Michael had recommended. He was right, it really is pretty darn good. I bought Sex and the City (First Season). Yes, I've never seen a single episode, that started after I left America. Of course many people have said I'll like it. I also got Intolerable Cruelty (Coen Brothers), Gun Shy (I once rented it and the last twenty minutes or so of the tape were screwed), Lost in Translation, Veronica Guerin (Cate Blanchett), Happy Together and a whole mess of Korean movies I haven't been able to find anywhere else: The Scent of Love; If We Die, That's Okay; Musa; Chingu (Friend); and Gamoonui Yeunggwang. The power came back on just after I'd finished feeling my way through doing the dishes (my kitchen has no window). The power wasn't supposed to be on until around ten, so I am happy that after dark I don't have to use my Valentine's Day candles for necessities. Also, it's nice to be able to open the fridge again.
Michael and I had already planned to have dinner together, as a way to kill time until the power came back on. We still went out, but didn't need to spend hours nursing our tea. Back home I made a beautiful Valentine's Day card for Karjam and talked with Hyun-sook for a while. Then I watched some Sex and the City. I'm not sure I quite see what the attraction is in the TV program, and I may very well not buy the further seasons. It just isn't grabbing me so far.
February 14th, Valentine's Day
I haven't had a romantic Valentine's Day since probably when I was in high school and Tom A. attempts at romance weren't exactly helped by the fact that I'd just had all four of my wisdom teeth surgically removed and my face looked as round and puffy as a water balloon- or maybe I just looked like a chipmunk with really really full cheeks. Anyway, I shouldn't my hopes up too much. Karjam might not even arrive until late evening.
I woke up with my alarm to be ready for the guys to come replace my lights (I didn't want to be still asleep when they knocked on the door, and they could have come as early as 8:00). I changed the sheets and the towels and made the bed, they changed the lights, I cleaned the kitchen counter and worked on entering my journal to the computer and on planning classes. I am currently really bummed because I thought this term ended in June, but it doesn't, it ends the beginning of July. Drat! I want to travel in China before I have to go back to Korea. Worst, my housing privileges end at the beginning of July. I thought I had almost a month to get my stuff and move out (during which time I could travel, or get married or whatever) but no! I have like a couple days, practically. Damn!
http://www.csun.edu/~hcedu013/plans.html Lesson plans about -everything- or at least history related things. A lot of them are for elementary school. But it seems really interesting. The ones for high school can probably be easily adapted to my students. Since their English is poorer and background knowledge is lacking.
I prepared for most of the day, though I did watch a couple more episodes of Sex in the City, too. I have now decided it's not bad, it's just not all it's cracked up to be. I was making sure the house was super clean and nice for Karjam when he arrived... tired and sweaty in his Tibetan coat considering that here in Lanzhou it's was well above freezing. His timing was very good, since right about then the hot water was turned on. He took a long bath and shower, I took a shower, too. I gave him all his presents... everything from Korea. He looks absolutely stunning in this light grey wool sweater turtleneck I bought him. It's too bad now it's going to get too warm for that and the other sweater I bought him.
We went out to dinner together, at the restaurant I used to call my favorite shortly after I got here. It's a little more upscale than the places close by. After we came back home we almost got into a Valentine's Day fight, of all stupid things because after four months living together, now suddenly he's decided that the drapes have to be closed when we are sleeping. The drapes are really heavy and we wouldn't get any light until long after the sun was fully up, and not much then if they were closed. Plus I am a bit of a claustrophobic. I don't even like to have the doors between the rooms closed. If I get to plan my own house in the future I won't even have doors between rooms except for the bedroom, but even that just cause of when company comes over. I mean, who needs to close off the kitchen or the living room, anyway? Anyway, it wasn't a fight, cause I refused to fight. Who knows if it would have been if I was going to go to bat. But I am worried about him wanting to change everything about me, piece by piece.
February 15th, 2004 Preparing for Classes
I spent the whole day either in bed with my boyfriend (I have friction burns on my vertebrae in my back, that's how much time we spent...) or preparing for class. The only problem is that asking the students to photocopy stuff in a packet is not going to be so attractive to the Academic Writing students whose packet is now at 64 pages (after I took everything except article titles to 10 pt) and four more pieces need to be found, still. And that's not even their articles for discussion, that's only the "how-to" pieces about writing: one about rhetoric, one about punctuation, one about using literary quotations etc. Some of them are really pretty long. It's going to be like a textbook, not just a little packet-thing.
We went out for dinner (I made breakfast and lunch) and ordered two things we'd never ordered before just for fun. One was so ucky Karjam and I both abandoned it, and he coughed most of the way home because one of it's weird spicy parts went down the wrong tube. The other was really good. Those hair thin mushrooms sauteed with green peppers.
We talked, it's not just all moaning in bed. He sang me some songs as he held me. He's so freaking sweet.
February 16th, 2004 --- Frustrating Day
If I had Monday classes I would be hating today. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/esl/eslstudent.html#grammar links to many English teaching sites. http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/index.htm Really interesting site. It even has a series of Bush quotes you can use to teach your students how to not speak! http://www.economist.com/research/StyleGuide/index.cfm The Economist Magazine's style guide for writing.
What a hellish day! I had the papers I wanted the students to have all ready by about 11:00 but I could NOT get them to save to disk! The file size was something like 17,000 KB! Ha! What is that? Obviously I had some embedded stuff in there, but I'm not the most computer literate person and I was snapping at Karjam and about to pull my hair out. At 4:30, after one meal and finally getting all but three of the articles saved to disk I called Mr. Liu and told him not to dare leave before I arrived. I was in his office printing and in another office copying until 5:45. Poor guy. I know he wanted to go home on time.
I finally around 7:00 thought to paste the info into the program I type this in, and sure enough, the embedded stuff showed right up, I erased it and saved no problem.
Karjam and I were debating where to go eat when Professor Soeng called. She's so sweet. Almost as soon as we hung up (she talked to both of us), Wanma called. Karjam's other good friend, Tserang Drashi was at Wanma's house. We both went over (most of the way across town) to see them. Wanma fed us boiled previously frozen baozhi and we all sat around and watched Tibetan music VCDs. Not that thrilling, and it meant we were home after midnight.
Feb. 17th, Tuesday - Academic Writing Class Number 1
I woke up shortly after seven and rushed to Mr. Liu's office as soon as I was dressed and had eaten a bit. I printed out the rest of my files and even had time to check email before class. Class started today at 9:00. It's a three hour class and I thought 9-12 seemed much more human than 8-11. The students did not agree, or some of them didn't. We finally compromised with 8:30-11:30. Other than a discussion of class time, I explained what the plan for the term was, the students asked me questions about myself, I asked them questions about them... we played Jeopardy and I had them write a creative and focused self-introduction. The class is mostly women, not too big, and *wow* is their listening good!
After class I hurried home to help Karjam get ALL our stuff outside our apartment so they could change the carpet. Well, a lot went in the bathroom and some in the kitchen. After we did almost everything the carpet guys still hadn't arrived so I made us Shin Ramyun and we ate it in the middle of the empty living room on the floor. When they did arrive they helpfully moved the two heaviest things, the refrigerator (full) and closet (full). They worked really fast, it completely pissed me off that despite my requests no one had bothered to replace the carpet before. I mean, it was disgusting, it needed to be replaced no matter what and if it was that darn easy to do... it really should have happened before. They did sort of a slopping job, with weird fringes on some edges and about five big spots of glue. The carpet is super cheapie stuff and has a new carpet smell, and it's a deep red... but it's clean. Jim called it indoor/outdoor carpet like you'd put on a porch, but without the weather-proofing. Jim helped us move stuff back in, since the carpet guys just skeedadled after they finished up. Jim helped with a lot more than just the two heaviest, too. That was sweet. We rearranged the living room, and the new setup might be more optimal than the old was. Not quite sure yet, but it seems good.
I spent the rest of the day working frantically to get the American Culture readings all put together. When I did, finally, Karjam was insisting I watch a DVD. I watched one episode of Sex and the City with him, and he watched a full length movie mostly by himself as I went to sleep.
February 18th, Wednesday- Class on the Old Campus
Well, I woke up and realized I hadn't figured out yet about the shuttle bus to the original campus where I have two classes Wednesday and one on Friday. I asked Jim (who I can hear moving around, so I know when he gets up) but he seemed vague, so I just walked. Unfortunately I'd picked a knee-length skirt set to wear for the day, with thin nylons and I didn't bring gloves (it's been so warm lately). About half way there I was so freaking cold I wished I had more than three Yuan in my bag to catch a taxi. I was really worried I'd be late when at last I arrived at the campus. It took a full half an hour to walk there. I'm a fast walker, too.
The first class was a bit flat, the second was pretty good. The first campus is devoted to arts, my first class was all lawyers (what does this have to do with art?) and the second was literature (many varieties including foreign, ancient Chinese, modern Chinese and comparative). After that class I asked someone to help me take the shuttle back, but no luck. The shuttle had already left (early) by the time we reached the waiting spot. She rode with me on the city bus (which only goes kind of close to the main campus) and showed me where to catch the bus there to come to the old campus. I will try the bus again on Friday, but I think it may be easier for me to walk there. It'd be a bit shorter if I took the back gate to thief alley instead of the south gate through the employee housing complex.
Karjam and I went to our usual restaurant for it's first day open again, but they were running slow without all the cooks and no noodles were available. Karjam was being stubborn so he didn't eat anything, or engage in conversation. Back home I organized my stuff to go to Mr. Liu's office to print and photocopy, and did so. Apparently the travel allowance has finally been deposited in our accounts. On the way home I bought Karjam take out. While he ate I went to the back alley and bought veggies. Then I gave him a class with stuff from the frig. We talked about the veggies and some other stuff like jam and juice, too. Jim stopped by and I made them do it together, so Jim could learn more Chinese food words. That lasted about twenty minutes or so.
In the evening I prepared for the following days class and got roped again into watching a DVD.
February 19th, 2004- American Culture
So I prepared to teach the American Culture class about Greek Mythology, but they'd already learned a lot of it. Fortunately I thought fast and asked if they wanted to review with English listening, and they agreed. But it didn't last long enough, just 1.4 or so hours... damn! Then I had to just make each student talk a bit in turn. I know it's weird I taught my AmCult class Greek Mythology, but think about the themes and words and references that appear EVERYWHERE in English writing relating to Greek Mythology. Also, I didn't want to start the AmCult stuff until they started their readings.
After class Karjam and I took a nap, then ate leftovers. We went to the bank, then went to the new hot DVD place and bought way too many new DVDs. Actually as usual most are movies I've seen before, but there are a lot of good ones and only a few Karjam insisted on. The ones I'd already seen were Asoka, Desperado, Twin Peaks first season, The Hairdresser's Husband, Delicatessen, The Lover, Dead Man Walking, Gandhi, Pretty Woman, O Brother (Where Art Thou?), There's Something About Mary, Adaptation, Romeo + Juliet (Baz Luhrmann version), Face Off and Dances with Wolves. The new movies are Samsara (Tibetan), Beyond Borders, Oh! Su-jung, Lost Highway, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, The Dancer, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Calendar Girls, Seabiscuit, Matchstick Men, Master and Commander and Mr. Natwarlal. I'm most excited about The Hairdresser's Husband and Delicatessen which are two of my all time favorite movies. They are both French.
On the way home we stopped at Home World. At home we watched Asoka. It's a little bit fictionalized movie from the conquering era of the King Ashoka (usual spelling) of India. He later became Buddhist and was one of the biggest reasons for the spread of Buddhism in the world. He paid for huge monuments, temples and beautiful paintings and sent monks to other countries, principally to Sri Lanka. While watching I did the laundry. (Love the pause button!) After that three plus hour epic I fixed us some kimchi chamchi fried rice for dinner.
February 20th, 2004--- Split Location
I walked to the first campus again this morning, but it only took 25 minutes using the back alley. Unfortunately that meant I missed the good places selling veggies wrapped in a flat bread pancake type thing, so I had an inadequate breakfast. The first class didn't go so well, because I scared the crap out of the students. First they were all at the back of the class, then there were a lot of students who came in late. After about five minutes I didn't allow them in. So all the students in the class got a first impression of strict teacher from hell. When class ended I ran to the shuttle bus, and arrived five minutes early for my class in Building Two on the main campus. Yay! I charmed the socks off those students, even though Michael was right (he had them last term, every other week) they are really quiet.
When I got home Mr. Do-Anything-But-Study coerced me into watching a DVD. Okay, it's not that hard to get me to do that, but I wish he hadn't. We watched Beyond Borders, about a rich girl and a refugee doctor. It was disappointing. I know that researching for that movie changed Angelina Jolie's life and caused her to end up in the position she's in now, UN Ambassador for Refugees. So, I guess I expected something a bit more. The ending really sucked balls. Why even go to Chechnya? I guess there are lots of refugees to help there, but I think the movie would have been better with fewer locations and more of the reality of the places they were. They did a good job with Ethiopia, though.
After that I convinced him to go outside with me. We took my bicycle because the bike shop guys called and invited me to a competition. Too bad it's on Sunday and I've been on a bike twice (including today) since December. Heck, even going to the location will tire me out. I'll get saddle sores, I'm sure of it. But of course I can't resist. Anyway, Karjam and I went to the track and horsed around. I am trying to teach him some self-defense basics because according to him, if he saw those guys who cut up his hand, chest/shoulder and head, they'd still fight. That was part of what he was trying to work out in Hezuo, he wants to put that to rest, resolve it. Anyway, it really worries me that he might get more hurt than he did last time.
In the early evening we had dinner at our fave restaurant (still no noodles) and then called my former student Wang-hong and invited her and her friend (my student) Li-jing to go out because Wang-hong is Karjam's dentist. She's never charged him anything. So we met them after a long joint bath (not sure we saved that much water, though, but it is sweet to relax in the tub together) and took them to the Tibetan drinking spot I hadn't been to before. It was much bigger, with a partial second floor and a lot of tables. The decorations were again sort of Tibetan-kitsch and most of the workers were Han, not Tibetan. The owner also apparently is Han. However the ladies insisted them loved it and the four of us nursed a pot of milk and butter tea and eat sunflower seeds (which in China involves getting them out of the shell). While there this guy from the next table came over with a notebook computer that was about half the size of any I ever saw before, right on the screen he had a photo of me looking sort of brow-furrowed and squinty, taken at Tae'ersi in October. He was much older. He hung out and showed off his photos (a lot of them were quite good, his composition skills are very solid) to us, and took shots of us on his camera (a very small digital Canon). After that Karjam and the ladies joined in a dance around the inside of the joint in a long snaking line. I didn't cause someone has to watch the bags, you know. A friend of Karjam's from Maqu, who I've met before, and used to be involved with my French friend Catherine was also there, and he talked with Karjam for a few minutes. He impressed me by remembering my name. We took a taxi home.
Saturday the 21st
We woke a bit late and Karjam immediately suggested a DVD but I insisted he study and I massaged his legs and we worked on the names for parts of the lower body and he enjoyed his massage and fell asleep allowing me to go through some of the introductory papers I have from my students. Only one class will turn in papers every week- the Academic Writing class. The AmCult class won't turn in any, and the other classes will turn in papers roughly every other week. The classes that Jim and Michael teach are Jim teaches on the first week teaching listening, speaking and reading, and Michael teaches on the next with writing. So, I teach my students every week, but it's the same thing, I am supposed to teach them all four parts of language.
Timothea's baby arrived on Valentine's Day, isn't that sweet? Isabella Fay (plus the last names of both parents).
In the afternoon we went downtown to pick up and drop off TCN film and photos at the lab. I wanted to walk to the Yellow River, which is not far from there, but Karjam wanted to look at notebook computers (he was very impressed with the notebook of the guy in the bar on Friday). So, we went to a department store he thought had them, and we made our way to the top floor, they didn't, and we had to find our way back down, but they make it so you have to walk the breadth of the store for each escalator on the way down. Argh! Karjam's feet were totally aching by the time we got home, so we watched a DVD (I had promised we could in the evening) and I massaged his feet. We watched "Seabiscuit" which was recommendable. Really they did a pretty good job making horses running in circles seem interesting.
Karjam and I had a sort of emotional evening. He likes to joke around, particularly by saying things that get a rise out of me. Right when I wanted to fall asleep he said "Wah, wah, wah." Then "the baby is crying, get up!" I did not find this amusing at all, since I do not want children. I told him "Okay, then get up and go see the baby." But he insisted that was women's work, and a man needed spend at most six hours out of twenty-four in charge of a baby. Uh, hello, isn't --he-- the one that wants a child? Bad enough he is coercing me into popping one out. So I pointed this out, none too gently, that as far as I was concerned, he better be at least a twelve hour a day father, cause I didn't even know how I could love something that cried when I wanted to sleep, threw up on me and shat in it's own clothes. This culminated in us falling asleep without saying "good night" or "sweet dreams" or "sleep well" or any of that other stuff.
February 22nd, 2004 -- Bike Race
When I woke up in the morning, I felt tired and out of sorts, so the first thing I did was wake Karjam up enough to ask if he was angry, and if he minded if I went off to the bike race. I still didn't know what time to meet, so I made breakfast, ate it, got ready, then called Kes, who told me the bike shop number. They said 10:00, but I went a bit early because my tires were spongy. They finally got a new fork (front suspension) that I wanted! It was so pretty. I didn't have any money, but they said "No worries, pay us later." They took apart the front end of my bike and installed the new fork, which despite sawing off still ended up so I am sitting taller than I was before. That's cause we didn't include the estimate for the difference in the height of the fork (we only thought about the difference in the length of the post on the fork). But, I like it. My new fork is a dark blue (my bike is an almost black green) Marazocchi ERX Pro. It is adjusted with schraeder valves in the top of each side of the fork, so you can be unbalanced if you want (why would you?) Because of my bike work it was 10:20, but I needn't have worried I was holding the group up, we didn't depart until 11:00, long after I'd given up trying to chit-chat with people I hardly know who speak too fast or use words I don't know too often and hunkered down to correct student papers.
The ride to Anning took us around an hour, and we met up with Kes and another bike group and had lunch in a school cafeteria out there. That was paid for by the race organizers. After the meal I was talking with one of the bike shop guys- the small young one who walks around with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and he told me that the race would be 10 km and we would have a staggered start. We rode to the starting place, the bottom of a dusty road heading up into the hills. The dust was really intense and worse, our own support vehicles wanted to rare up in front of us to beat us to the top, after they'd =had= to film the start. I got interviewed by a newspaper reporter waiting to start, only I didn't know he was a newspaper guy until Kes told me after the race was over.
Anyway, we started all in one big mass of about sixty bikes. Luckily at the start I was only three layers back from the front. The road was full of areas of deep sand, and even other riders stirred up the dust. At one point I was behind a guy who had a kickstand that had fallen down and was dragging and spitting rocks and sand into my face (I didn't stay behind anyone idiotic enough to take a bike with a kickstand on a race in the mountains for long, of course). The track was almost entirely uphill, with just a few little dips along the way, and some areas of slightly down or up tilted "flats". Nothing on that road was truly flat, though, as the places that weren't sand pits were hard clay ruts and ridges. Amazingly I managed the entire course without spilling, putting a foot down, or even shifting to the lowest chain ring in front (I make it a point not to go there, anyway, but it's sometimes necessary at my fitness level). If I had known the damn thing was going to end after five instead of ten kilos I would have poured on the gas for the end, but I had no idea, and was saving lots of energy. I arrived at the finish with a bit of sweat, but not much, and lots of energy, highly annoyed to have had an UPHILL bicycle race on a dusty rutty road, not a nice up and down single-track or trail. I could have passed another 3-5 riders if I hadn't been waiting to pass them in the next kilometer or so, saving myself. Anyway, I was twentieth! The first woman, and 24 minutes (not bad for an uphill slog!). Since only three women entered, that means I beat about forty men! Ha ha ha! That'll show them! Especially since I am not even in bike riding shape and had already ridden the sixteen kilometer road ride from Landa to Anning!
We stood around at the finish for a long time waiting for people to show up. The next woman was eight minutes after me (though she's not bad) and she beat a heck of a lot of the boys and older men, too. I was six minutes after the first place, who was a guy from my club. My club won, overall, as we were first woman, man, and third man and I think the second man, too. Not sure about him, though. Didn't get a good look at his face when he picked up the award. I was given a certificate as well as a little stuff bag for under my seat, a computer to calculate my distance and speed and stuff, and a water bottle. I was pretty psyched. I was most pysched though by beating the majority of those penis bearing supposedly superior members of the human race.
The ride back was not so fun, as my crotch was aching from the time in the saddle, and my knee was bothering me, too. Oh, and my bike shoes gave me a blister on the back of one heel. I was putzing and enjoying the view when three members of my group caught up to me and said "Hey, come on." We were riding into a head wind and they were drafting each other. I fell in at the back, and it was all I could do to stay in the right place to properly draft. I did not take a turn in front. Eventually we turned a bend and the headwind went away and I swung into another group (they were all going to eat a bunch of meat, but I knew Karjam would be too impatient and their food not appetizing enough) for awhile, but they turned off to go to the restaurand and I plugged on to Landa.
Karjam was watching a DVD when I got home, and admitted to not studying today at all. Bad! I took a soak in the bathtub. We went out for dinner, but I ordered strangely. We got that same cold long thin mushroom dish, and also a sort of carmelized banana dish. Karjam had some meat and veggies, but my food was really not a very balanced meal.
Monday the 23rd- Not So Dreamy in Loveland
I don't have any Monday classes, so we slept till around 8:30 before starting our day. I spent most of the morning trying to concentrate on my class preparation, particularly reading the papers from the Academic Writing class (those students can write quite a lot in only a short period). Also, I need to give them explanations in more cases than the ordinary students. If I do explain why they screwed up, they are likely to learn from it and not do it again. Many of the ordinary students don't really care, and besides, their mistakes are simpler ones. It was hard to concentrate, though, because part of the time Karjam was trying to study, which means he spends most of his time interupting me to ask me questions and then something reminds him of story he just has to tell me about some relative...
I had a great mail day! Kim H. sent me two all natural Burt's Bees lipsticks! Wooo-eee fancy-dancy! Mom sent me two bracelets and two pairs of earrings plus some chai mix, EmergenC and peppermint tea. Yay! I feel so loved.
We got ahold of Kes around 12:30 and made a date for us to come over around 4:30. Kes has a Panasonic digital video camera, and Karjam is just bonkers for buying a video camera. So, after listening to what Kes had to say about it, it sounded pretty interesting, so Karjam and I wanted to go look at his set-up and what he could do with it. We ate lunch before leaving, and had to take two buses out there, the second being the 103, which was 1.50 Yuan, instead of just 1 like all the other buses I've taken. Kes showed us how he can download to his computer and edit the footage he's shot digitally. It looked pretty easy, but the quality of the image- ukk! Even on the computer it looked bad, and to do it at a high resolution you need such a huge amount of file space that people use TWO harddrives and still have to finish editing one piece before they can start another. Fortunately Karjam agreed with me, so I won't have to waste that money. Or compete for time on my own computer.
Unfortunately, as we arrived at the first floor of the guesthouse (having a nice conversation) I saw something I wanted Karjam to help me read on the bulletin board and paused. Karjam got ahead of me, I called out his name, twice, and the second time he answered me (he was in the stairs) and I asked him to help me. He replied with "Help you with what?" and I said "Just help me, please." (I didn't want to say into the echoing stairs "I can't read Chinese well, come help me read something.") Anyway, he decided to ignore my request. When I got home (after calling him at the house from the lobby and asking him to come back, which he refused to do) I was pissed. I was more pissed when he neither apologized nor took his eyes off channel surfing. So, I demanded an apology. He ignored me and ignored me and then swept all the stuff off the table in fron to fhim (coffee-table height) including my favorite cup, the only one I brought here from Korea. It's in an antique style and I bought it at a Buddhist temple in 1997. It broke. I cried, and after finishing preparing for class, went to sleep on the floor of the living room.
Tuesday, February 24th, 2004
I woke up having started my moontime during the night. I guess it partially accounts for me being so fragile the day before, but really, Karjam and I had a great day. We talked, I helped him with English, we had great sex, I took a lot of time to research his desire to buy a video camera, etc. And what got him so angry? I didn't call him any names, or say anything worse than "Don't you know how to say you are sorry when you are wrong?" or "When someone asks you for help do they have to beg for to you agree to help them?" (I asked him for help in a perfectly polite way). I didn't say anything at all after he broke my cup, I just cried and cried, on an off until I slept. That might seem silly to you, but remember I lived for several years with my ex who went from breaking things (anything- my glasses, our 3 CD player) to hitting me. So when Karjam breaking that cup (the most I've ever seen him lose his temper) really freaked me out.
My class, Academic Writing, went just great. We discussed Whorfian theories of how much language impacts our actions. The class plan went over great, the timing worked out well, and I think everybody felt they'd had a good lesson.
I came home to see Karjam watching a DVD, and he said nothing to me until he left after the DVD had finished. He didn't come back before I went to the elementary school for my first two classes (they went fine, and I got a great idea for next week). Before going I watched an episode of Sex and the City (which has grown on me enough I think I'll buy the second season if I see it), and prepared two pages of handwritten notes for my lecture on "The Founding of America" which is so far at least focusing on the Puritans and the religious reasons why settlers first came to America.
When I got home from teaching the kids Karjam was home, but we didn't talk except when he came over to ask what I was doing (making a poster-sized fictional town with a bank, post office, park, school, shoe store, hospital etc. so the kids can give each other directions such as "Go straight for 25 meters. Turn left at the bank." We'll see how well it works out. Anyway, the map is going to be just fine, if a bit boring to look at since I only have black and blue markers. Michael and I chatted for about thirty minutes. I guess I am not really that angry at Karjam, but he didn't say anything else before he left again (he announced he was going to the library) and I darn well do feel I am owed a big apology.
On a side note, I am wondering if I want to continue having this diary public... if anyone has any thoughts? Is anyone besides mom reading this anyway, and I can just mail it direct to mom...
February 28th, 2004
The last few days have been pretty rough, I tried really hard to be a good hostess to Shyubuuk but I stand by my guns on the smoking thing. Being a good hostess does not extend to having to allow people to smoke cigarettes in your house. We got up around seven, and I walked to the door downstairs with Shyubuuk. Karjam and he took the bus to the station (two buses) and Karjam paid for his ticket back to Linxia (he has a girlfriend there).
I corrected a few papers for AcWriting and then watched "Love Letter" a famous modern Japanese movie I'd never watched (and Karjam already did). It was sad, but not as sad as I had been told. I did not cry. It was good though, and surprising in a way. Very mellow. It's amazing, there are still good movies out there that rely on plot and dialogue rather than blood, guts and sex to keep a viewer entertained.
So Karjam and I fought again. It was really stupid. That took up the entire day. Until four pm. Not kidding. What a waste of time. And at the end of it, we said we can't live without each other, we love each other like crazy.
Karjam doesn't know how to apologize, even when he's obviously wrong.
http://www.ktnet.co.kr/enghome/culture/faith.html a Korean site I want to find again easily... Korean religious beliefs. http://www.korea.net/koreanculture/imagesofkorean/image_20.asp more Korean info http://www3.tky.3web.ne.jp/~edjacob/sculpture.html Buddhist sculpture in Japan. I am trying to find out what exactly the turtle represents in Korean Buddhist temples, because Morning Calm is publishing a photo I took of a turtle as their back page (full page) photo. http://www.mct.go.kr/english/K_arts/Ornamental.html http://www.korea.net/koreanculture/artguide/sculpture.html http://www.bdcu.org.au/BDDR/bddr12no6/pureland5.html That last one is about Pure Land Buddhism. http://www.asia2000.org.nz/educating/study_resources/books.shtml That's the Asia 2000 Foundation of New Zealand. They have lists of books for learning or teaching about Asia. http://www.buddhapia.com/buddhapi/eng/temple/korexp/html/bu3.html No I haven't found out about the turtles yet, this is getting really tiresome. http://www.khandro.net/animal_tortoise.htm
Here is my caption info (undoubtedly more than they need, but that's better than the opposite). The long-lived turtle is an animal that often appears in Buddhist temples such as this stone turtle at Hyangilam (near Yeosu in Cheollanamdo Province). Turtles are entwined in Buddhist myth. When Buddhism developed in India 2,500 years ago, the turtle was regarded as the source of land or supporter of the universe. Buddhism in Korea was introduced from China, where the black turtle (tortoise) was considered the representative of the north, yin and water. Consequently turtles are often seen on the grounds of Korean temples, and the lattice patterns of temple doors and windows are sometimes modeled on the shape of tortoise shells. The turtle sometimes appears carrying the world on its back or a stele inscribed with the names of donors to the temple.