-Don't say you love me unless you mean it because I might do something crazy, like believe you.
~~~Off of Molly's profile at one point. I really enjoy this one.
-Placement, and run the fat girl.
~~~Kayla, my doubles partner (talking about our strategy for the next game.)
-We can now lower our terror alert to periwinkle.
~~~Jon Stewart (The Daily Show)
-Hey you! Wearing the backpack!
~~~Some kid in my school (shouting this in a crowded hallway)
-If I were a farmer, I wouldn't shoot the deer that ate my crops.
~~~Caitlin (she plays tennis, and she just randomly said that on the way home from Janesville one day)
-Wouldn't that be cool if we ran into it?!? It would be like running into a house on the highway!
~~~Caitlin (another random saying, as we were passing half of a house being transported on a semi)
-No matter what happens, the U.S. Navy is not going to be caught napping.
~~~U.S. Secretary of Navy, December 4th, 1941
-The government is good at one thing...it knows how to break your legs, and then hand you a crutch and say 'see if it weren't for the government you wouldn't be able to walk.'
~~~Harry Browne
-Bear costumes are funny...bears as well.
~~~Christopher Walken
-I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though.
~~~Elton John
-If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
~~~George Gobel
-Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.
~~~Dan Zevin
-I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
~~~Groucho Marx
-The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
~~~Rita Mae Brown
-Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
~~~Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
-Half this game is ninety percent mental.
~~~Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
-A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
~~~B.L. Taylor
-Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
~~~Jim Murray
-The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
~~~Albert Einstein
-They made us many promises, more than I can remember. But they kept but one - They promised to take our land...and they took it.
~~~Chief Red Cloud
-I think he's aged well--like wine.
~~~Greg, on Michael Palin from Monty Python
-People just don't understand the beauty and artistic expression that goes into the brutal dismemberment of a member of the opposite sex.
~~~David, on serial killing
-You really can't do much when your innards are...out...
~~~David, on why he would be able to kill someone
-You might have to go 'oomph' on the vibrator to get it all to go in.
~~~Karen Anderson, Chemistry Teacher
-Weeee! Move my thing up, move my thing down!
~~~Karen Anderson, Chemistry Teacher