Lawrence of the Labia

Lawrence is a low-ranking officer in the British forces during the first Global Battle. After an incident involving the general's wife and a large amount of lube, Lawrence is sent off to a mysterious land covered with sand called Whackoffistan. Without daily tea-times, Lawrence becomes enraged and goes AWOL, wandering off into the desert. Not having his tea, he succumbs to the desert heat, but is soon saved by a nomadic tribe of women called the Alabians. After a very amorous recuperative ritual, Lawrence notices something quite peculiar: they wont let him touch their labia. Lawrence soon finds out that the Alabians are being ruled over by the oppressive Autocum Jurks, who forbid excitation of the Alabs' labia. Well, Lawrence will have none of that, as he so does enjoy his crumpets. So Lawrence takes it upon himself to train the Alabians in the art of their labia. After exhaustively training all of them personally, Lawrence and the Alabs launch a giant man-rape-raid against the Jurks, involving whips, chains, and plenty of righteous vaginal sex. Lawrence then considers his job done and decides to leave for England, much to the chagrin of the grateful Alabians, but not before showing the women something they can all enjoy amongst themselves.

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