-That was a firm grasp on my head.
-(Online)
Jeff: Also, some dildos have wire inside them to add structure or pleasure, but sometimes they can erupt and jab your cooter's innards.
Jeff: Or cootards, as I call them.
-(Online)
Jeff: I have the external anatomy of a woman.
Jeff: My labia are really the unconnected halves of my scrotum.
-(Online)
Jeff: One time, my old roommate's friend added the words "I'm gay" in the middle of on essay of his.
Jeff: When he got it back it was circled with a question mark.
Jeff: He got an A.
-(Online, to me)
Jeff: I just awoke half-consciously in a pool of my own cold sweat knowing that if I didn't take a dump something bad would happen and so as I sat there the slow realization came over me that I was pooping backwards in a spiral in the word mitseal...now I don't know where I am except that I had eaten some health food cereal of my roommate's.
Jeff: If that doesn't make sense to you, imagine how I felt.
-My penis smells like tuna.
-It doesn't count if it only touches the rim, just like anal.