-Me: Penis.
Shawn L.: Yeah last time I checked it was still there.
Shawn L.: Why do you ask?
Me: Not anymore!
Shawn L.: Really. And I suppose it grew legs and walked off.
Me: Yes.
Shawn L.: Interesting.
Shawn L.: Oh, and under no circumstance is this to go on that infernal site of yours.
-Alex: So on Saturday I am going to Nair my balls.
Me: ...
Alex: What?
-Me: What if your name was Günter von Christ?
Alex: Then I would break dance in the streets.
Alex: And challenge all to break dancing competitions and win them all.
Alex: And become the world's best breakdancer.
Alex: And then turn water into wine.
-Greg: I don't like fake wood.
Me: That's what she said.
-DeWayne: Where are you going?
Elizabeth: To poop.
-Greg: and I hope I'm not misspelling everything.
Me: not reall
Me: y
Me: reallyl
Me: ..
-Me: Corey, it's 17:48!
Corey: Columbus sailed the ocean great in 1748...?
-Alex: I have no idea why I IMed you.
Me: Neither do I.
Alex: Fantastic.
Alex: Let's be twins.
Me: Kay :D
Alex: =D
Alex: *grows a vagina*
Alex: Sweet!
Alex: *blames PMS*
Alex: RAWR I AM ANGRY!
-Alex: Got any good home remedies for colds?
Elizabeth: Buttsex.
Alex: Come on over and we can get started.
Elizabeth: Works every time for me.
Elizabeth: No, you have to get it.
Alex: Then bring your strap-on.
Elizabeth: I could, like, dildo you.
Alex: You could peg me, then I could wear your dildo and I could get you in two spots at once.
-Jeff: BLASTERMASTER!
Me: One who has mastered the art of jerking off?
Jeff: Incorrect! One who mans the device most commonly known as a blastermast.
-Me: I'll play your game, you rogue.
Jeff: My game involves fire-spewing dildoes.
-Jeff: WORDS!
Me: WHAT ABOUT THEM!
Jeff: They make sentences!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeff: LOLZ!
Me: ZOMFG NO WAI
Jeff: WAI!
-Jeff: Well, I meant to shift-enter that, but now the timing's off, so fuck it.
Me: No, keep going.
Jeff: That's what she said.
Jeff: ...
Jeff: That's... that's what he said *hangs head in shame*
-Corey: He's such a prude.
Brian: Who calls a cat a prude?
-Me: You don't fit.
Meredith: That's the first time he's heard that!
-Me: He's using a horse poop scooper!
Elizabeth: ...Also known as a shovel.