Sam... I dont know how to say this... But last night on AIM i wasnt joking. that really wasnt a jake you heard just a scared depressed boy who knows nothing about anything. I needed something to pull me out of the hold i dug and that was the only one i could thing of in truth. I am truly sorry. Can you forgive me? I wrote you this poem.

AT LAST WE CAN TALK

I've been watching you awhile
Since you walked into my life
Monday morning, when first I heard you speak to me
I was too shy to let you know
Much too scared to let my feelings show
But you shielded me and that was the beginning

Now at last we can talk!
In another way...
And though I try not, I love you.
It's just so hard to say
If I only could be strong,
And say the words I feel...

My bleeding heart begins to race
When I turn to see your face
I remember that sweet thing
Which you told to me
I wanted just to be with you
So we could make the dream come true
And you smiled at me... and that was the beginning

Now at last we can talk!
In another way!
And though I try not, I love you
It's just so hard to say
If I only could be strong
And say the words I feel

Tell me what you're thinking of
Tell me if you love me not
I have so much I long to ask you
But now the chance has gone
When your picture fades each day...
In my heart the memory stays!
Though we rant, you're always smiling
And I will hold it long

*Puts head in hands* Darn... Ive never felt love before, really. I dont know what to do. But working with computers usually soothes the pain.

You know, I made this site on the night of July 2, 2003. Ive just been so scared, I havent sent it to you. I don't know what I'm afraid of... I just needed to express my true feelings. Ahhh... that didn't go over too well, did it now. I'm starting to scare muself. Never have I been so confused, yet joyful. I wrote this too, because I was bored.

The wind, like a heart that swam in the accumulated words
The clouds, a voice that was shot into the holding future
The moon, a shaking heart in an unsteady mirror
The stars, gentle tears in an overflowing stream
Isn't it beautiful, to walk together in each others hands
I do so want to go,
To your city, your house, into your arms.
That heart, held within your body In those confusing nights I dream
The wind, its halting words are a gentle illusion
The clouds, the broken future like a distant voice
The moon, a heart flowing in the clouded mirror
The stars, broken and swaying, like tears unable to be hidden.
Isn't it beautiful, to walk together in each others hands
I do so want to go,
To your city, your house, into your arms.
That face,
A soft touch,
Dissolving into morning,
I dream.

Ahhh.. Crap. *is scared* Theres some more pomes below

Heres another poem, expressing how I feel... if you are still reading and care at least....

Through the time that passes by each day.
The minutes that follow the seconds,
The hours theat follow the minutes,
I dream through them all,
Only thinking of one thing,
An angel that God has let go,
To wander in her own findings,
An Angel so beautyful that her beauty beats all,
Her hair as smooth as silk,
Hands delicoate to the touch,
Skin as elegant as Ivory,
She seems to get closer, yet so very far away,
If only she would come so I could ask her,
Will you be mine, Fair Angel?,
I will do anything that pleases you,
And yet when I am not dreaming I see her,
Just like in the dream,
Sam, you are that angel.
That I want to be mine.

I'm starting to seem as if I'm under the influence, huh.