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In the moors the faeries dwell
weaving spells throughout the greens.
Ancient magic does compel
a sleeper to the mystic's dream.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Tuesday August 12th 2003, 3:31 pm.

Tomorrow is my 16th birthday and ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!!! I have to take my drivers test tomorrow!!! I AM SOOOOO SODDING TERRIFIED! And I have to pass the test tomorrow or else my permit will expire and I'll have to take the written test again! OH. MY. GOD!!!!!!

I don't update often enough, but that doesn't really matter does it?

Here is a parody of "Weasley Is Our King" from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Malfoy cannot spot the sheen
The snitch of gold he's never seen,
and even though the git is mean,
Malfoy is our Queen!

Malfoy has his head between
Goyle's thighs (that can't be clean!)
To the enemies of gray and green,
Malfoy is our Queen!

Malfoy is our Queen,
Malfoy is our Queen,
The snitch of gold he's never seen,
Malfoy is our Queen!

dream a little

Friday July 4th 2003, 10:11 pm.

Happy Fourth of July! Went to the carnival with Maggie, Annie, and Katie A. Words were exchanged, rides were ridden, fireworks boomed, and general fun was had. I am also v happy for having bought a pair of red anjan Puma's for only $35 and for getting lip gloss at Bath and Body Works for free because someone didn't use their coupon. Shopping was productive. Roberta is content.

I hate her. I love her. I hate her. No, I think I love her, even though she killed him. JK Rowling is, to be blunt, a genius. I read Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix the weekend it came out: started reading the 21st, finished on Sunday the 22nd. It was brilliant. Harry is so angry and I lurve him like that. Do you know who else I lurve? SIRIUS BLACK. *weeps* I have bombarded myself with Sirius/Remus fanfiction to try to ease the loss of him. I even wrote one, and it's posted under 'writings'. Anyways, Harry has some astoundlingly witty and amusing lines. Here are a few of my favourite quotes from the book:

"Listening to the news? Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see." -- Harry and Vernon, p. 6

"He was asking for it," snarled Dudley.
"Oh yeah?"
"He cheeked me."
"Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true..." -- Harry and Dudley, p. 13

"Think you're a big man carrying that thing, don't you?" Dudley said after a few seconds.
"What thing?"
"That - thing you're hiding."
Harry grinned again. -- Harry and Dudley, p. 14

"Not this brave at night, are you?" sneered Dudley.
"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this." -- Harry and Dudley, p. 14

"What do you mean I'm not brave in bed?" -- Harry Potter, p. 14

"What did he do to you, Diddy?" Aunt Petunia said in a quavering voice. "Was it - was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use - his thing?" -- Petunia, p. 26

"It was my father's," said Sirius, throwing the ring into the sack. "Kreacher wasn't quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father's old trousers last week." -- Sirius Black, p. 117

"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher," said Harry loudly, "there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of he back of his head." -- Harry Potter, p. 318

'We believe that the dementors are currently taking direction from Lord - Thingy.' - The Daily Prophet, p. 845

"You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around...." -- Harry and Draco, p. 851

"What are you doing, Potter?" said Snape coldly as ever, as he strode over to the four of them.
"I'm trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir,” said Harry fiercely. -- Harry and Snape, p. 852

"I am not aware that it is any of your business what goes on in my house -"
"I expect that what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley." -- Mad-Eye Moody and Vernon, p 869

I only have a few for now because I don't have time to go searching throughout the entire book again, but I will post more...erm, eventually.

dream a little

Wednesday June 18th, 9:16 pm.

Was going to go camping tomorrow with Annie and my father but Annie dropped out and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend two days alone with a single parental unit. Am indulging in much self-loathing at the moment, seeing as I am crap at driving, writing, and reading, have eaten more than 1300 calories (via ice cream) and now have had my wonderful keep-away-from-food-because-will-be-basking-in-sun-with-mate-while-sipping-bottled-water-and-reading-good-book camping trip abruptly cancled on me. Oh, sod. Sod sod sod. I'm too depressed to eat. Sod sod sod. I think I'll go have a candy bar.

9:17. Have told father I am not going camping, and of my reasons (because parents, as a sadistic lot, feel they have to know why one does something). He brought up the wonderful point that Annie's parents just don't want her hanging around with me and thus made an excuse why she couldn't go. Have pondered this earlier but brushed it off as paranoia. Now I'm not so sure. On the bright side, if I don't go camping, there will be no chance of me getting the 'painter's in' in the middle of a densely wooded area with no toilet for miles. Ho hum.

dream a little

Sunday June 15th 2003, 10:13 pm

Bugger. I've just realized that I've posted some rather untactful entries on my previous blog. It's not that they are particularly mean, simply that they make me look like a pussy. The sorry thing is that I am no longer able to edit those things out of that page. So. All I mean to say by this is: I am not a pussy. I just have one.

Merci.

dream a little

Sunday June 15th 2003, 12:19 am

Have been jogging one mile a day and walking two, while maintaining a 1300 calorie diet. Except for last night, when I ate a milky way and some starbursts, but whatever. No weight has yet been lost. I had a very good scare at my grandmothers house when I stepped on her bathroom scale and it read 137. I thought, I go on a diet for a week and I gain seven pounds? Sodding hell. One of our scales must be wrong. I think it's my grandmothers. The horrible thing is, what if it is my scale? What if I have been reading my weight wrong all this time, and I am really seven pound heavier than I thought I was? How horrid would that be? Pretty darn horrid, I'll tell you that.

Oh Dear Vanyel! My heart pains! What if I am that fat? What if I'm a 140 pound 15 year old? With a height of 5'4", no social life, a bleak and boring personality and a grandfather who gased 500 guinia pigs in his garage? *deep breath* I think I need to go read some slash now.

Mierde Mierde Mierde. Abby will be gone to Quail Camp all week which means that no tanning will be had next to nice nice swimming pool. I suppose I should fill up my own crap pool and bask in cancerous UV rays in my own backyard. (Roberta also supposes she should make use of her YMCA card so she won't stay so GODDAMNED FAT.)

Tra la la. Life is dandy.

dream a little

Sunday June 8th 2003, 1:38 am.

A very long survey that presents the finer details of my so-called life.

1. FULL NAME: Roberta Ann Singer
2. AGE: 15
3. WHAT R U LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? nothing
4. LAST THING U SAID? "oh sod."
5. WHAT IS NEXT TO U RIGHT NOW? stickers
6. LAST THING U ATE? marshmellows
7. DO U WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF UR LIFE WITH A PIG? like, a person who has filthy habits or an actual pig? Because I like pigs, sorta.
8. WHERE DO U WANT TO GO ON UR HONEYMOON? Ireland.
9. WHAT MAKES U HAPPY? any gesture that reminds me that I can trust a person.
10.WHAT DO U LIKE TO DO? wank off. Wot? Honestly? Eat and romp around with best mates.
11. WHAT DID U DO YESTERDAY? Romped around with best mates.
12. LAST PERSON U TALKED ON THE PHONE TO? an insurance sales person
13. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Not existing. And never doing anything with my life.
14. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses
15. EYE COLOUR? brown
16. HEIGHT? 5'4
17. YOUR PERFECT MAN/WOMAN? Nice body, toned but not overly muscular, firm arse, a few inches taller than me, and any combination of features and proves to make him a sex god.
18. WORST THING ABOUT OPPOSITE SEX? Their ego and their fickleness and their stupidity.
19. IF U COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT URSELF WHAT WOULD IT BE? My weight. I want to be thinner. Then again, so does every girl on the planet. I also would like to be less neurotic.
20. SIBLINGS? One, a half sister by the name of Katie who is 27 lives in Arizona.
21. CAREER: something in writing. Later, obviously, I've only just scratched the surface of my teenage years.
22.GOING TO UNIVERSITY: without a doubt
23. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF 10 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD: on my back with my legs in the air. I plan to do Yoga. It's good exercise. ...what did you think I was talking about?

HAVE YOU EVER......
24. LOVED SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY? You mean just because I loved them? Or because they did something to me?
25. DRANK ALCOHOL? yes
26. SMOKED? no
27. TAKEN DRUGS? no
28. BROKEN THE LAW? curfew, but that is so lame that it's not even worth mentioning.
29. BROKEN A BONE? nope
30. CHEATED ON TEST? no
31. MORE THEN ONCE? no
32. SKINNY DIPPED? many a time.
33. PLAYED TRUTH OR DARE? yes
34. FLASHED SOMEONE? yes
35. MOONED SOMEONE? yes
36. KISSED SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T KNOW? no
37. BEEN IN A PHYSICAL FIGHT? no
38. RODE IN A POLICE CAR? no
39. BEEN ON A PLANE? yes
40. COME CLOSE TO DYING? no
41. BEEN IN A SAUNA? no
42. BEEN IN A HOT TUB? yes
43. SWAM IN THE OCEAN? no

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...
44. SCARS? Pretty ones! They were supposed to be tattoos, but...ink is rather hard to keep in your skin if the cut isn't deep enough.
46. COUNTRY MUSIC? no
47. CLASSICAL? some
48. SOAP OPERAS? ytchh. No.
49. AEROPLANES: hmm?
50. AMUSEMENT PARKS: abso-bloody-lutely.

WHAT IS............
51. YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM? My nipples. Er, no, normally it's just the necklace that I'm enamored with at the time.
52. WORST SONG U EVER HEARD? some crappy remix...
53. BEST SONG YOU'VE EVER HEARD? That's a stupid question.
55. THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE? Fallen over and bruised my shoulder while examining my bum in the mirror.
57. DO YOU HAVE A LAVALAMP? no
58. DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? YES! IS THAT SO BAD??? No, I don't really, but I do hug a pillow. Actually, the pillow is just to keep my thighs from touching because often I don't wear boxers to bed and to have my skin stick together bothers me, especially my thighs, for some odd reason...
59. YOUR CRUSH? *yawn*

ARE YOU A.....
60. GOOD DRIVER? hahahaha....I hit the curb today and then ran a stop sign. What do YOU think?
61. GOOD AT SPORTS: not exceptionally.
62. ACTOR\ACTRESS: I like Anna Paquin, but I don't really know why. And I like Jaouqin Phoenix, if that is how you spell his name. Oh. You meant am I an actor. No. No I am not.
64. DANCER? Nuh-uh.
65. SHY? yeah, very.
66. GOOD STORYTELLER? no

DO YOU...
67. LIKE PARKS? yes
68. LIKE PICNICS? It depends on who is with me. By myself, yeah, sure, they are great, just spiffy.
69. LIKE SCHOOL? Tss. No.
70. COLLECT ANYTHING? DVDs and books.
71. LIKE TO SHOP? yes
72. LIKE TO PARTY? I'm sorry, I can't dance. I'm not sorry, though; I just can't dance.
73. GET IN TROUBLE A LOT? no
74. GOT ANYTHING PIERCED? yes

WOULD U.............
75. EAT A LIVE HAMSTER FOR A MILLION QUID? No.
76. GO TO A HANSON CONCERT IF YOU HAD A FREE TICKET? No. I would sell the ticket and use the money to buy gay porn.

IF U WERE ON A DESERT ISLAND..
77. WHICH PERSON WOULD YOU WANT WITH YOU? I don't know. This is hard.
78. WHAT THREE THINGS WOULD YOU TAKE FROM YOUR HOUSE? books, knives, and tampons.

EXTRAS......
79. NICKNAMES? Berta
80. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE MOTTO? Don't hold on to things that aren't there. And don't worry about a lot of things, because there isn't much you can do about them in the long run.
81. IF YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND IT WOULD HURT THEM IF THEY FOUND OUT, WOULD YOU TELL THEM? no.
82. DO U LIKE THE PERSON THAT SENT THIS TO U? Ja.
83. DO U WANT PEOPLE TO REPLY? If they want to.
84. WHY DID U DO THIS? Because I was bored.

dream a little

Saturday June 7th 2003, 10:31 pm.

Slept until noon, tanned on my lawn, drove around a bit with my dad, then saw Finding Nemo with Lauren. HOW BLOODY EXCITING! Erm, not. I really feel like I should be doing more. I'm 15. I should be taking advantage of my youth, but sodding hell, there is nothing to do here. I can't dance and I don't like pop music, so going to mixers is out of the question. I can't drive yet, so I can't very well go anywhere out of St. Louis. Tss. I am doomed to be hopelessly boring for the remainder of my teenage years. It makes sense. I'm quite a boring person.

dream a little

Friday June 6th 2003, 12:47 pm.

In four days school will have ended and summer will commence, along with an onslaught of my own neurotic tendencies evoked when I go to sleep at three in the morning at awake at noon. Nevertheless, I will try to make this year relatively productive. Thus, I have created a list of goals for the summer. They are as stated:
    *lose 10 pounds, and keep it off, which would bring my weight to an even 120. It still seems like too much.
    *build up enough endurance that I am able to jog for two miles without stopping.
    *work out at local YMCA.
    *lose two inches off of waist.
    *read at least 10 books, none of which include the following: great amounts of kinky boy-on-boy sex. I know what you're thinking. I'll miss it too.
    *write 5000 words in some form of coherent writing piece/pieces, none of which include the following: great amounts of kinky boy-on-boy sex.
    *save $200.
    *get drivers license.
    *do not board myself up in my room all day.
    *handle insanity in a dignified way which will be the envy of all properly insane humans.

If I carry out one half of those goals I will consider my summer well spent. First, though, I must take my biology final (among others) and discover the grade I received on my geometry final that will sink my GPA to an unspeakable decimal.

Tsss. Fuck school.

On a happier note, Becca, Lauren, Abby and I went to Stratons Cafe today and then swam in Abby's pool, which I later reflected on as a time of idiocy bombarded with sticky-out nipples. When one can see their breath, it is best not to go swimming. Had we our wits about us, we would have kept this in mind. Achoo.

(Also, when one has their wits about them, it might be beneficial to remind one's self not to pull their pants down in front of a camera, despite the slimming affect their knickers might have on their impossibly large bum.)

dream a little


w r i t i n g s

echo   lucifer in starlight  chocolate  death of a muse  how roberta stole romance  werewolves of london  and then there was butterbeer

l i n k s
Which Should Not Be Ignored, As They Lead To Very Cool Places

The Happy Valley Puppy Farm  Blood+Sugar+Sex+Magic  The Leaky Cauldron  FictionAlley Park

b i o g r a p h y


1. Can't carry a tune. Ever.
2. Sleep four hours at night and three when I get home from school.
3. Used to love acting, but now can't seem to stand on a stage without suffocating.
4. Still love the theater, as long as I'm not in it.
5. Don't want a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or any sort of romantic liaison. Truly.
6. Haven't touched sea food since I was seven and don't see myself eating it ever again.
7. Believe myself to be clinically neurotic, or perhaps just a hypochondriac.
8. Hate to get attatched to people, but do it anyways.
9. Hate shopping for clothes, but shop anyways.
10. Hate it when I act like a dolt, but act like one anyways.
11. Am not a masochist.
12. Once had that "Happy Days" theme song stuck in my head for eight days.
13. Hate it when people use the term "gay" to mean something bad, such as "That is so gay."
14. Have never been drunk, but probably will be within the next five years.
15. Have never given a guy a blow job, and never intend to.
16. Have never had sex, and don't intend to for a long while
17. Will never smoke.
18. Will never do drugs.
19. Have given myself six tattoos, using a pin and pen ink.
20. Want to write a novel before I'm thirty.
21. Will write a novel before I'm thirty.
22. Do not believe in a) fate, b) God, or c) the improbable idea that Harry Potter is heterosexual.
23. Think that George Bush is an absolute idiot.
24. Have thought about dying many times, but would never kill myself unless death was like the way it is in my head. Which I doubt it is.
25. Can't draw. At all.
26. Love all works of art.
27. Make up for my lack of artistic talent with my fervor for writing. (All of which is not very good, honestly, but I am proud of it nonetheless)
28. Have far too much pride.
29. Believe myself to look like a mix between a hedgehog and a whale, which I refer to as a whedgehog.
30. Have two invisible friends named Delirium and Incredulity, and have had them for a year now.
31. Always dream of snow.
32. Used to be lifebonded to Elijah Wood, until I realized he was gay.
33. Often wonder if that was what made me attracted to him in the first place.
34. Have no fashion sense.
35. Have never been to a highschool dance.
36. Don't have much of a taste in music.
37. Worry about things until I get sick.
38. Have been sick more times this fall than I have in the past five years.
39. Wish that Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar actually existed.
40. Believe in my head that it does.
41. Collect names.
42. Read the dictionary when I take baths.
43. Have written two 20,000+ word stories, each incomplete and probably never will be completed.
44. Have trouble finishing things.
45. Want to go to London more than anything else in the world.
46. Have 1½ best friends.
47. Will not wear a tank top in public.
48. Hate all public displays of affection.
49. Have four notebooks that I don't write in, yet keep buying more.
50. Have two cats, a black one and an orange one, the latter of which is insane and is about to suffocate himself by sleeping in a plastic bag.
51. Wish I was a better friend.
52. Know that it's in my control to be a good friend.
53. Probably never will be a good friend.
54. Have yet to come to terms with many things.
55. Am a good liar, to myself and to others.
56. Take myself too seriously.
57. Don't know what I want.
58. Thought I was a lesbian in eigth grade, but got over that quickly when I realized that the idea of sleeping with a girl made me nausous.
59. Am very egocentric.
60. Have this problem where I like to take things from people when they aren't looking, and keep what I take.
61. Understand what William Blake means when he says "love to faults is always blind," but can't explain it to anyone.
62. Will hug simple acquaintances, but have a terrible difficulty even brushing hands with close friends.
63. Have only said "I love you" to a non-relative once, and meant it.
64. Wish on all that exists that I didn't mean it.
65. Like american-chinese food with an intense passion.
66. Follow up rather important statements with insignificant ones, i.e., #64 & 65.
67. Am quite annoyed with myself right now.
68. Have never been stung by a bee.
69. Have never broken a bone.
70. Always have a song stuck in my head. Always.
71. When I got my first video camera in sixth grade I started out by making "dirty videos" and "period information videos" with my friends, which later contributed the thought that I was a lesbian. I'm not.
72. Never called my mother "mommy" nor my father "daddy" unless I wanted something out of them, in which that epithet was used in a whiny voice as sort of a pleading joke.
73. Get words stuck in my head, too, such as "somnolent" or "reticent".
74. Only began reading for pleasure in seventh grade when I discovered that the school day passed by much more quickly when one read a book through all of their classes.
75. Used to pretend I was a dog in second grade by wearing my dog's collar to school and having people throw sticks for me to fetch.
76. Still wish I was a dog.
77. To introduce my inflatable male doll Vanyel to my parents, I chose a night they would be gone, filled the pool and surrounded it with candles, put Vanyel in the water and pretended to be having sex with him when they opened the back door. They believed me, and were so overjoyed when they realized I wasn't fucking someone that they didn't even ground me for ordering Vanyel from a sex toy store with my mum's credit card.
78. Would flash cars at night for fun when I was twelve.
79. Used to practice witchcraft.
80. Dislike it when people use bad grammer in instant mesages, or when they use word shortcuts such as "ur" for "you're", "wuz" for "was", etc.
81. Hate, hate, hate wearing a bathing suit, and as a result haven't been to a pool for three years.