Candles were lit and placed strategically around the room, casting warm, romantic orbs of light against the walls. Even the slightest breeze in the still night caused the flames to flicker like dancing shadows in the darkness. A woman sat on the bed—hair done, dressed up in a long, thin-strapped black dress, frown etched across her lips.
The night was beautiful; cool but refreshing from the normal heat that surrounded the city. The only thing that was missing was him… Justin Timberlake, the man who owned her heart.
But Audrey didn’t have to ask herself where her boyfriend was on their anniversary. She knew… and that’s what made her want to cry. He was with her, the picture perfect girlfriend. The ‘acceptable’ girlfriend, the one that he was allowed to have.
And that night, Audrey was forced to see the reality of her situation. Before then, she had been able to pretend that everything was fine. After all, she was an intelligent girl with a special knack when it came to creative situations. Maybe that was what had hurt her, for Audrey had always been able to make herself believe that her life was perfect even as she wanted to scream. The smiles she pasted on her face around him were only there to mask the tears she shed inside. The laughs she forced from her throat were wails of despair in disguise. She wasn’t happy; far from it.
Most of the time she was able to convince herself that school was the reason she was miserable. College life wasn’t easy, that was true, but her excuse was just that: an excuse. School had never meant that much to her, not to the point of ruining her life and tossing her into depression. No, while school was stressful it wasn’t the main cause of her problems.
That was his job.
Honestly, it wasn’t fair to blame it all on Justin. He couldn’t help that he had his career to worry about. He was in the public eye all the time. Of course he needed the perfect girlfriend on his arm. The only problem was, Audrey just wasn’t that girl.
No, the company bigwigs that for some reason seemed to rule his life decided that she wasn’t good enough. Her hair was too brown, her breasts too small, her eyes too plain, her body too… average. Their eyes, distorted and frozen by years working in the entertainment business, were blind to her good heart and wonderful insides. To them, she was nothing but a Plain Jane trailing behind their star.
That was when they’d come up with the brilliant plan that was killing Audrey—give him a girl to be with the public, someone famous and beautiful and blonde and about as intelligent as a rock on the side of the road. Their plan worked wonderfully—for everyone but Audrey, who got to sit by and watch as her boyfriend went out with this girl who was undoubtedly more attractive than she was.
At first she hadn’t worried about it; she trusted him and was completely secure in their relationship. But then the kissing had started… Justin had sworn it was only because that was what they wanted him to do, that it made the fake couple seem more real to the public, but she had her doubts. She had felt him begin to drift away from her, but relied on denial and faith in equal amounts to keep her sane.
The only place that policy had gotten her was here… alone on her one-year anniversary in the house she shared with him. All dressed up with nowhere to go and no one to see her. Justin had forgotten, and that hurt, but what drove the dagger deeper into her heart was that he had forgotten her for another woman, however fake that commitment might have been.
"You know I love you and only you," Justin had once told her, his sharp sapphire eyes gazing into hers with such intensity that she could do nothing but believe him. "No one’s gonna change that, babygirl. You’re the girl for me."
Lies. All lies. If she were the girl for him, wouldn’t he have been at home with her instead of at some club grinding against the shapely form of another woman?
Audrey got up and silently made her way to the mirror over her dresser. As she got closer to it she felt the heat of the candles and was entranced by their warmth. Her eyes drifted to the glass that reflected her image, and she was surprised to see the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. She had been strong against the tears until that night… and she could tell that this was the night the dam would break down.
She wasn’t the poster girlfriend and she never would be. She wasn’t famous, nor did she desire to be. She couldn’t sing, dance, or act. She was a lowly student who wanted nothing more than to carve her own little niche into the world by teaching young children. Who was she to invade the world of celebrities, with their millions of dollars and multiple cars?
For the first time in what felt like weeks, a small smile crept its way onto her face. It wasn’t a smile of happiness; she wasn’t in any way happy. But she was relieved… relieved that she had been able to see the dead-end she was sitting at instead of waiting for the rest of her life.
It was impossible for she and Justin to go out in public together because then people might catch on to them—or even worse, it would start up rumors of Justin being unfaithful and mar his perfect image. She couldn’t visit him while he worked because there were always too many witnesses. He didn’t have enough free time to spend with her—his entire life was work. All along she had thought that he was her everything, but she was greatly mistaken… they were nothing.
She needed out. That was the key to her tranquility—escape.
It didn’t take more than twenty minutes for her to pack up her necessities in a few suitcases. The rest she would come back for when she was ready, if she ever got to that point. She loved him, she knew she did, but he wasn’t at a place in his life where he was capable of having her as a girlfriend, and she didn’t want to sit in the corner of his life until he was ready for her.
Audrey walked around the room slowly, taking in its essence as she carefully blew out each candle that she had so diligently lit a few hours before. As the last flame flickered and died under her breath, the knife in her heart seemed to withdraw just a bit. Taking a piece of paper out of her desk, she slowly wrote out a letter for him.
Dear Justin,
I guess you got caught up tonight… and I don’t need to wonder with what. Or should I say who? I’m not angry… this is who you are and I knew that when I got into this relationship. But I cant keep going like this, either. I’m sorry, I’m just not cut out to sit on the backburner of your life while you go around with her. I know you say it’s not real, but it still hurts and I can’t do it. So I guess… I guess this is goodbye. Good luck with everything.
P.S. Happy Anniversary.
After folding the note and placing it on the bed, she picked up her bags and sighed. The white paper contrasted greatly with the dark sheets and the red rose petals she had laid there earlier… when she’d thought there would be a celebration that night.
Before she could change her mind, she turned on her heel and walked out of the room. There was no turning back… she didn’t need to turn back. Because she wasn’t a picture perfect girlfriend… and she didn’t need a guy that required one.
