Five Reasons I Can?t Wait to Get a Wii
Topic: Posted by Andrew
1. Mess Up Whoever’s Playing Me
Whenever you play a person in video games, your close proximity to your opponent makes it tempting to physically prevent them from playing the game, whether it be by slapping the controller out of their hand, pushing them off the couch, or gong for it and turning off the TV. With the Wii and its motion sensor controller, I’m fairly certain I can raise this to an art form. I might even punch the person standing next to me, and be able to claim its all a part of the game.

2. Be Able to Throw my Xbox at the People Who Honk at Three in the Morning
The Wii’s sleek design contrasts sharply to my current bulky Xbox, which will come in handy when I throw the thing out of my 12 story window. Once I get a Wii I will no longer need the stupid thing, and will use it as god intended: as a projectile.

And there are plenty of people who deserve my wrath. How about any car that decides to honk after midnight? You sure that’s a good idea? Want an old Xbox through your windshield? I thought not.

3. Make up Stupid Theme Baseball Teams
My favorite ever was when I did the presidents, and George W Bush hit .400 for the season, with FDR batting cleanup with over 150 RPI. That year the Washington Presidents went 122-40. Other favorites include New Jersey Mobsters, 1994 New York Rangers (I had to drop Messier to 9th), and that one time I did all my friends and won 45 games all season.

4. Check the Weather
It’s a feature, you know.

5. Find Out if I’m Worse in Wii Madden Football Than I was in Real Life
I was pretty terrible in High School, and I’m just curious if I’m any better at the Wii version. Personally? My money’s on the high school days.