A story about Alternative X-Men...

If anyone was thinking "What kind of crazy drugs was she on when she wrote that?"... well... I don't blame you. Wait... if you're saying I'm on drugs... I might get mad at you...

Ahem. Anyway. The point is, I'm not really on drugs. I'm just crazy. It all started one day, a long time ago...

There I was, in the car, on the way back from shopping, having bought nothing and being bored beyond bored. Half an hour in the car is enough to make anyone's mind wander, and so mine did. And you know when you link things that are totally unlinked? And it seems really funny? No? Oh, just me then. Anyway, I was thinking about hippies having long hair and Xavier having no hair, and somewhere in my brain I went, "Xavier should be a hippy!"

Well, if Xavier was a hippy, then... I suddenly went, "Alternate Universe!"

And I was kind of bored of the whole "Oh no! We're mutants! Everyone wants us dead! Ohhhh... everyone's going to die..." storylines where there was nothing but angst and everyone was miserable and none of the characters did what I wanted them to do because someone else was writing it (I have nothing against Chris Claremont, Stan Lee, etc, you understand... I just need to be in control because I'm weird like that).

So I figured, why not write a really really funny X-Men universe? With... no Cyclops. The idea for Scott's non-existence was one of my first ideas, because, well, I hate him. Really hate him. He spoils all my fun and Jean's flirting.

And so that was the beginning. If you have a lot of time on your hands, you might want to read the original, unreleased, never-before-read "Alternate X-Men". It was my first version of Alternative X-Men and I thought it was crap and discarded it because, well, it was crap. But you know, I'll let you read it so you can laugh at how bad my writing is.

But then I wrote the other, improved, "official", ff.net version, and it went on from there. First of all I just thought of things that were stupid and hilarious (to me anyway), and then I started running out of ideas after a few chapters.

So, a note. A lot of the things that happen to the X-Men are things that have happened to me. For instance, Katherine wishing she was bi so she wouldn't be left out, and then managing to make herself bi, that happened to me. And lots of the conversations the characters have, mostly between Jean and Ororo, are based on conversations I was having on Messenger at the time I was writing it.

And yes, there's a reason why Kurt's always pretending he's not thinking dirty thoughts by thinking about lobsters.

And I have lots to upload and type up, be patient and it will come, I promise. Ish. It'll come eventually. Maybe.