You think you know, but you...have...no...idea...this is the dairy of Shaquile O'Neal

    What's happenin, my name is Shaquile O'Neal.  I am 12 feet tall and I eat umpa-lumpa's (and occasionally small China men).  I am like Mother Teresa, in that like Jesus I have dead and been reborn in the name of God.  And in doing so I have freed my brothers and sisters by turning their blood to wine.  In addition, to these astonishing and completely true accomplishments, I am a basketball player and I make a lot of money because of that.  I am an African American, as you can clearly see from my photograph.  Clearly.  You think you know, but, you stupid, you don't know nothing.  This is or was (I'm not sure which one) the diary of Shaquile O'Neal.