Kids are stupid pieces of shit so let's wreck their houses

    So I heard about this grade 10 party tonight. I figured I would go with a friend and crash it. Yeah I know how stupid it sounds but I only went for my love of getting little kids in trouble and the bar was dead. When I got there I was greeted by a fairly attractive 15 year old and her not so attractive friend. She explained to me that I wouldn't be allowed in because I was too old but I convinced her that it might be alright if I showed up with her. With that said I tagged along with the two girls and me and my friend got in without any problems. The owner of the house came up and asked how old I was. I was mildly intoxicated at the time and thought I might try to fool him and said I was 15. He didn't fall for it. He seemed a little mad that we got in but knew he was too little to do anything about it. He kept trying to reason with me and my friend, trying to convince us to go to the bar but I wouldn't hear of it, so I pulled a beer out of my case and told him it was his if he shut up and left us alone. Worked like a charm. Now we were free to roam the house without being bothered by that little shit. I called all 60 people on my cell phone's contact list and 7 actually showed up.

    The moral of this story is that if your in grade 10 and 19 year olds come in then your going to have a bigger party than you had bargained for. Nothing good ever comes from having parties. Things get stolen and broke and nobody ever gives a shit. They are fun to go to but when someone is in grade 10 you just know that you can push them around and make it an out of control party. Below I'm going to list a  few things that you can do to show little kids who's boss around there if they try to kick you out.

1. Call as many of your friends as possible and tell them the party is huge and to come quick

2. Tape bits of tin foil all over the microwave, especially the tops because nobody can see it.

3. Find magnets, bigger is better, and put them close to television sets. NOTE: Speakers have magnets.

4. Turn the thermostat all the way up. People often mistake the rising temperature with body heat and don't think to check. You might not want to stick around too long after this one.

5. Raid the parents liquor cabinet. Every house has one of these it's just a matter of finding it. get 3 friends and split up to look for it. You will be able to cover more ground that way.

6. Plug the toilets with odd objects. Be creative people, Make sure to steal the plunger after this one too for the added bonus.

7. I'd like to bring up a standard rule for stealing other people's alcohol, If it's hidden then it's up for grabs. Finder's keepers but if its in the fridge then keep your hands off it. This person obviously is trusting. Don't be the one to wreck that for them.

8. Offer to buy beer for everyone under age and charge twice as much and screw up. Get the cheap brand and keep the left over change. If a kid gives you JUST enough money for what he wants then "forget" something they wanted and keep the change.

9. Find the drunkest guy there and offer to drive them home if your the DD that night. Ask them for gas money and drop them off at the wrong house.

10. When you think you done partying for the night all you have to do is find a phone in the house and call 911. They will automatically send 2 cops over to check things out and the party will be instantly broken up.

    Any little piece of shit kids should not try any of this at a party where they are the youngest ones. All your doing is asking for trouble by disrespecting someone's house. So just wait a couple more years and then do it