Real-life team pitching -- 2007 Absurdville Madness
Regular season
| Primary |
| S | Name | P | ERA | W | L | S | G | GS | CG | SHO | INN | H | R | ER | BB | K | HR | GDP | BF |
| | Koufax* | sp | 1.73 | 27 | 9 | 0 | 41 | 41 | 27 | 5 | 323.0 | 241 | 74 | 62 | 77 | 317 | 19 | 26 | 1274 |
| | Palmer | sp | 2.09 | 23 | 11 | 1 | 39 | 38 | 25 | 10 | 323.0 | 253 | 87 | 75 | 80 | 193 | 20 | 26 | 1268 |
| | Drysdale | sp | 2.18 | 18 | 16 | 0 | 40 | 40 | 21 | 5 | 321.1 | 242 | 91 | 78 | 68 | 237 | 15 | 26 | 1264 |
| | Blue* | sp | 1.82 | 24 | 8 | 0 | 39 | 39 | 24 | 8 | 312.0 | 209 | 73 | 63 | 88 | 301 | 19 | 25 | 1207 |
| | Hubbell* | sp | 1.66 | 23 | 12 | 5 | 45 | 33 | 22 | 10 | 308.2 | 256 | 69 | 57 | 47 | 156 | 6 | 25 | 1206 |
| | Grove* | sp | 2.54 | 28 | 5 | 9 | 50 | 32 | 22 | 2 | 291.0 | 273 | 101 | 82 | 60 | 209 | 8 | 25 | 1191 |
| | McDowell* | sp | 2.18 | 17 | 11 | 4 | 42 | 35 | 14 | 3 | 273.0 | 178 | 80 | 66 | 132 | 325 | 9 | 23 | 1116 |
| | Dibble | rp | 1.74 | 8 | 3 | 11 | 68 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 98.0 | 62 | 22 | 19 | 34 | 136 | 3 | 8 | 384 |
| | Dotel | rp | 1.85 | 6 | 4 | 6 | 83 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 97.1 | 58 | 21 | 20 | 27 | 118 | 7 | 8 | 376 |
| | Lidge | cl | 1.90 | 6 | 5 | 29 | 80 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 94.2 | 57 | 21 | 20 | 30 | 157 | 8 | 8 | 369 |
| | Brewer* | rp | 1.26 | 8 | 7 | 17 | 51 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 78.1 | 41 | 16 | 11 | 25 | 69 | 6 | 6 | 303 |
| | Total | | 1.97 | 188 | 91 | 82 | 258 | 258 | 155 | 0 | 2520.1 | 1870 | 655 | 553 | 668 | 2218 | 120 | 206 | 9958 |
