Why
Why do you lie....
I loved you so much.

You say we'll be together again,
Something I don't believe.

I have scars that will last a lifetime
caused by you.

People come to me,
Telling me of what you say.

How you brag,
When you told me you wouldn't,

how their is some one else,
Who knew of me.

How you don't want them to talk to me,
So I have no one left.


I know every lie you told,
I never believed any of them.

Some were cute,
Such as your tall tales.

But for you to actually think me to believe them,
Makes me believe you see me as stupid.

And every time yo told me you loved me,
They were all lies....

You never cared about me,
Only about you.

I was waiting for the time you could trust me,
And not feel you had a need to lie.

For you to trust me,
I knew I had to trust you.

I decided to put my whole self preservation aside,
And gave you my whole trust.

I'm lucky you didn't do worse,
Cause I gave you total controle.


I saw bits of who you really were,
And I wanted to see it more.

Even now, when people tell me how horrible you are,
I tell them it's not true.

I'm not like others,
I don't hate you.

No matter what you do,
I could never hate you.


I want to know the truth,
Please tell me.

Why did you do this,
Why did you hurt me?

You can't hurt me with the truth,
The only thing that hurts me,

Is,
Lies.

I loved you,
But not anymore,

But no matter what,
I will still be here for you.

There are so many things I want to say
But I just can't find it in me.

Do you love me?
Do you truly believe you love me?
Or are you just saying that?

I want you to,
And I want to love you back.

I want you to trust me,
Fully and completely.

You don't,
And I understand.

You don't trust people,
Well, neither do I.
But I want to trust you.

I can't though,
Not until you can trust me.

I look at you,
And you seem so alone,
Like everyone has left you,
And you feel so lost,
Isolated from this world.

Even alone with me,
You're distant.

I want you to know,
I'm here for you.
For whatever you may need.

I'm not like so many other girls,
I want you to feel loved.

I look for others,
And forget about myself.

They say your using me,
They say I can do better,
They say I deserve better.

I don't care.

If you are,
You will soon realize you don't want to,
Because I believe no one gets the chance to know you.

I believe that you can do better than you think.

Poems Unheard

TO ALL

All the things I want to say...
All the things I cant.

To him: I love you,
And would do anything for you.

But he doesn't know that...
And never will.

To the one who loves me:
In love, I am not,
I will only break your heart,
I will have to tell you goodbye.

And to my "best friend"
Stop pretending,
I know you don't care,
Just tell me.

All the things I want to say...
All the things I cant.



**************************************************
TO HIM

I'm not obsessive,
Just upset.

All I do
Is write what I feel.

Like thees feelings for you,
And the facts that go with,

A thing I'll never say,
And you will never know.

I Love you
But I can't tell you.

There is a problem,
An impassible obstacle

She loves you..
And you love her.

I will do anything to make you happy,
because of my love.

I've seen you apart,
And both of you had no life to live...

But back together,
You shine brighter than the brightest stars.

How much I want to talk to you,
But I'm scared of pushing the line.

To lose her trust,
Our friendship.

I want to tell you the truth,
But I can't.

Even if she left you,
I couldn't do a thing.

All this wouldn't seem so obsessive,
If only I could tell you.

But I can't,
So I write.

**********************************************

TO THE ONE THAT LOVES ME

I love you,
You love me,
But in love?...We are not.

You may think you're in love,
But that's not true,
You're in lust.

But because you're inching toward it,
I will end up breaking you're heart,
And breaking you down.

I don't want that to happen,
So I want to go
to leave you.

But I know, you will still get hurt.
And with what with all that is going on,
Make others suspicious.

I don't know what to do,
Like I said, I don't want to hurt anyone,
But I always do.

I'm sorry,
I need to leave you,
Because I love you.

**********************************************

TO HER

So, "Best Friend"
How are you?

Mad at me again?
For something I did not do?

Or maybe it just that,
I'm not staying in my place...

Secluded
And
Lonely

I help you with your problems
You refuse to help me with mine.

I am nothing to you,
But you're everything to me.

You're my queen...
I'm your server.

Only thing I hear from you,
Is orders to me, your lowly servant.

"Help me do this...
Don't do that.

You'll never get him,
Or any one for a matter of fact!

Follow me this way,
Now go away!"

Well my friend
Or "Majesty" if you prefer.

Just tell me one more time,
Just to make sure I heard you right,

Then your order,
I will obey.

Gone
Gone as far away as she can,
She will never come back...

I thought she was my friend,
But now I know.
She never was a friend to me.


I still wish it wasn't true though.
But even I can't turn back the tables of time.

What do you do?
Now Playing: actually a late post
What do you do whien it backfires?
Something that's woven in such a beutiful & complicated pattern
Falls appart.

What do you do when it didn't happen to you?
But someone you care about
And someone you love?

Now they're apart
And you're in a whirl of confusion

What do you do?


What do you do when you're being torn in two directions?
Help your friend
Or jump at the chance?

What do you do when you're so unsure
About what to do
And who for?

You're so wrapped up in their problem
You forget your own.

You Know it'll work out in the end
But you're still worried.

What do you do?


I don't know
So I'm asking for help
From you.

So...

What do you do?

Young And Lost

She looks at the mirror
She looks at the blade

Tears stream down her face
As she thinks of today

About how her mother screamed at her so loud
And all she wanted was to make her proud

She used to be so perfect
Her will so strong

She doesn't know exactly
Where she went wrong

"You're a horrible child
I don't love you anymore!"

Those were the words spoken
By a slam of the door


All this sadness built up inside
And how people hurt her
With their lies
Sometimes she wishes
She could just close her eyes
Lay down for the last time
And die


She looks at the mirror
She looks at the blade

Today was the day
That her friends went away

All her friends left her, and she doesn't know why
Even just thinking bout it, makes her cry

Now she hasn't anyone
That she cant trust

Her life has come crashing down
It's all turned to dust

Everyone hates her
It's so easy to see

She thinks to herself
"Why has this happened to me?"

All this sadness built up inside
And how people hurt her
With their lies
Sometimes she wishes
She could just close her eyes
Lay down for the last time
And die


She looks at the mirror
She looks at the blade

She can't turn back now
Cause she has set the stage

A note lies on the table, written with care
She's hoping that someone will find it there

She has carefully written
About her life

In it, all the reasons
She wants to die

"Goodbye to you, Mother
Goodbye to all my friends

I'm sorry to tell you,
This is the way it will end."

All this sadness built up inside
And how people hurt her
With their lies
Sometimes she wishes
She could just close her eyes
Lay down for the last time
And die


She looks at the mirror
She looks at the blade

She says to herself
"This is the only way

To escape all this pain that lies inside.
The only way to do it, is to die."

She thinks of what awaits her
Beyond death's door

She'll be with her lost ones
Together once more

She looks at the mirror
Now she's picked up the blade

Again she tells herself
"You know it's the only way."

All this sadness built up inside
And how people hurt her
With their lies
Sometimes she wishes
She could just close her eyes
Lay down for the last time
And die


On her wrist
Is where the blade lies

Then the phone rings
She collapses
And cries

Her friend had called
To see how she's been

Broken down,
She tells her what she almost did

"I'm glad that you called me,
You saved my life.

To tell you the truth,
I didn't really want to die.
At least not now
I don't want it to end.

And you've done so much for me,
You're my very best friend."

All this sadness built up inside
And how people hurt her
With their lies
Sometimes she wishes
She could just close her eyes
Lay down for the last time
And die

Lay down for the last time...

And ,
Die...

Forbidden Feelings
I sit here looking out,
tears building up inside.

Here I am crying,
and I don't know why.


I look to the other side,
and see him sitting there.

He's holding her,
with so much care.


Their bond woven tightly,
by love and trust.

A bond so beautiful,
I don't want it to bust.


I love him,
but I care for her.

I want him happy,
even if I get hurt.


I look to him,
and see in his lap lay,

A note to him,
cause she had something to say.


"You are!"
"I'm not!"


Beautiful that is,
I agree with him.

She's beautiful,
and his.


I cry on his shoulder,
he doesn't mind,

He's always willing to comfort me,
he's always so kind.


I cry so softly,
I don't want them to hear.

I don't want them to know,
I've even sheded a tear.


Now I know the reason,
to why I cry.

She probably does too,
from the look in her eye.


It's my feelings for him,
this forbidden love.

My heart's being played with,
by the minds of above.


To her,
He belongs.

To me,
I long.


But this is a greedy wish,
To which, I want not.


I want to tell her,
so very much.

But she would yell,
and say "DON'T TOUCH!"


I never would,
never will.


I want them happy,
thats the best I can do.

I know I'll never be able to tell him,
"I love you."


But to see them together,
smiles on their face.

I know to stay her,
and keep my place.


I know to change,
the love between them,

I'd still be unhappy,
even though I love him.


She'd be upset,
no matter what I'd say.

So the best for us all,
is to keep things this way.


If she were to read this,
I hope she understands.

And nothing will change,
and we can still be friends.


Knowing that with her love,
I will not interfere.

But that doesn't mean,
that once in a while,


I can't shed a tear.

Love (revised)
I love you.
Yes, this is true,
But I'm not in love with you

I've been in love before,
Three time actually.

Three loves that will never go through.

***

The first could care less.
Ignored by him.
Known forever.

He used to care,
He used to understand.
He used to want to see me happy.

Now all he wants is
To forget.

I won't let him.

He hates me,
I love him.

He won't even talk to me.
I long for his attention,
And affection.

I'll never change him.

It'll never happen.
But I'm still in love.

***

The second loved me.
He seemed perfect,
We were in love.

He listened to me,
He understood me,
Let me, be me.

But he changed,
Changed so much.

I can't love him anymore.

I love who he was,
Not who he is.

He only thinks of himself,
I call out for him,
He won't listen.

I'll never love the change.

It'll never happen again,
But I'm still in love.

***

The third is in love,
They're so happy,
That won't change.

He knows me as I am,
He'll let me cry on his shoulder,
Will stay with me until I become happy.

But his love doesn't belong to me,
It belongs to her.

I would never change that.

She's my best friend,
I wouldn't harm her.

He makes her smile,
Makes her laugh,
She feels safe.

I'll never change that.

I can never make that happen,
But I'm still in love with him.

***

You love me.
I love you.

But I'm not in love.

I don't see me with you for the rest of my life.

I'm not the person for you.

I don't even know you,
and you don't know me.

I still love you though.

I'll stay with you,
for now.

But I can't lie to you,
I can't be with you forever.

Love is too complicated,
but again, it is so simple.

I love you,

But I'm in love with someone else.

Don't be sad,
I'm still with you.

For elmo
I miss elmo so much. I just learned she died last year. I don't know what to write, but my friend did. So here are her words.




Letter To A Lost Soul

By: Sarah Reed




There I go again, words spilling from my mouth

Pouring out countless thoughts of rambling nonsense

Once again, my head explodes with meaningless thoughts of fatuity

And I cannot make it stop

Again and again I visit this place thats held in the depths of my mind

A place full of outrage and counter curses of rotting memories

All that exists is the decomposing corps of my undistinguishable past



I sing a sweet melody of sympathetic regret

All the while I sit staring blankly out the windows crystal glare

The darkness of the night surrounds me in a distorted unrecognizable sense of loneliness

My eyes are heavy with anguish, but I cannot seem to sleep a wink



Blindly I look for you through the thick blanket of snow

And silently I shed a tear, for I know that you are not to return back to me

Dear sweet Muse of tails unknown sing to me a story so sweet

Let the words ring in my ears and capture my dark soul

A distinct aroma fills the air and a smile dances across my lips

I know it is only my imagination running away from me,

But, the alluring scent of lavender, is you

I shut my eyes but only for a moment in time

And I invision your angelic face

You extend your hand to me, and I reach out to hold it,

But, I quickly remember, its only make believe



I open my eyes, as tears begin cascading down my flushed cheeks

The light from the clock that is placed upon my beau-row flashes off my glistening tears

For hours I sit in the same place, wishing away the time

And hoping it all was a simple nightmare

Why did it all have to end up this way?

I gladly would trade places with you

But, I dont belong in a heavenly paradise



Dear sweet angel from above, this letter I write to you

Is not to upset you, but to let you know that tonight, I am letting go of your sweet memory

For so long Ive held onto the past and I simply need to move on

I will always hold you near to me, but I am letting go of the burden of death

This is no good-bye I am simple shutting the door so I can begin a better life

I bid you fair well, and all my love to you

-forever, me

Love
I love you.

I don't know why,
I just do.

Maybe it's because in your arms I feel safe.
Or how you don't seem to want anything,
But to make me happy.

Do you love me?

I just want to know.

If you don't,
That's okay.

My feelings won't change because of that,

I don't see why you like me though.
I seem to hurt all that do.

And I'm so scared,
That somehow,
I'll hurt you.

You don't deserve to be hurt.
That's why I don't deserve you.

But if it makes you happy,
I'll stay with you.

You deserve to be happy.


I'm sorry when I seem so distance,
It's not you.

Then again,
It is.

I'm scared I'll do something stupid,
Say something wrong.
And it'll be over.

You wouldn't do anything,
It will be all me.

Like I almost did a couple weeks ago,
or this morning.

You'd say nothing,
I'd say everything.

I'm set off so easily.

Little things seem so big.

For instance,
I know you're hiding something.

Probably nothing big,
But it bothers me.

Maybe if I tell you something
You will feel better,

Or maybe just make you feel worse.

I never fall out of love.

I still love him you know.

Not him now,
But him then.

I will always love you for you now.

Now I'm just confusing myself.
Things happen so fast.

Sometimes I just want it to stop,
Or at least slow down.

But I just have to let things be as they should.
Accept change.
Move on.

But I can always remember.

We all change.
That is the only thing that will always be the same.